To ask for your help with finding a reason to be alive?

[soalonewithlife]

I can't do it anymore. I just can't. I'm so alone and I can't take it. Please will anyone talk to me for a while. I've never felt so low.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.
I'm here to talk. As will be a lot of others I am sure

However bad things are now OP, they can and will get better. This is honestly just a moment in time.

Where are you now? Do you have anyone in real life to talk to?

Talk to us, we’re listening.

I don't have anyone in real life. Well my partner but he is at work. I'm alone with my baby.

What’s happening OP? What’s caused this hopeless feeling?

Sending positive vibes, thoughts, energy to you, through the ether of the internet ❤️

How old is your baby?

Hey, you’re not alone. I’m listening:)

We are here and we are listening. Please talk to us

I’m sorry you feel so low.
How old is your baby? Have you considered you might have PND?
Is your relationship with your DP good when he is home?

Sorry you feel like this, you can phone or text the Samaritans at any time of day or night.
What time does your partner get home? How old is your baby?

Make a , talk to us.
This time of year can be tough.

Hey, OP. What time does your partner get home from work? Does he know you’re struggling at the moment?

How old is your baby. Can you text samartitans x

If there is one thing I’ve learned from years of working with people is that things can and do change. Hang in there. People can and do find peace in life despite all sorts of horrors. It’s not easy but things can change. Right now you are at a low but it can change.

www.samaritans.org/

Phone the Samaritans so you can speak to a real human being.

Sending lots of positive thoughts. Please know that you are not alone and depression is awful. Do you think you might have post natal depression?
Do you have anyone you can call or text?

You keep going for your baby.

I have been there it was a long hard slog to get better and I hung in there because I didn't want my DC believing/knowing they weren't enough to choose to live for.

It's very likely you have post natal depression and you need to be very honest with your partner and your GP about how you are feeling.

What’s specifically wrong OP? Lots of us listening x

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section now.

You have made a baby within your own body. That’s an amazing and incredible achievement. And you’re probably feeling worn out and maybe a bit shell-shocked too if it’s your first. Do you have a health visitor you can call? Or a friend from one of your baby groups?

If you are a new mum you will have all kinds of hormones impacting on your mood. The dark days and winter can also have an effect. Looking after a baby had a huge impact on our emotional well-being too. You are doing this in the midst of a global pandemic too. Without knowing anything about you there is enough there to cause such low feelings - yet alone anything else going on for you. Hang in there. All of those things can and do change in time.

Talk to your GP or midwife/health visitor too.

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Sometimes life can just be difficult even if we can't pin point why, it's not easy but i promise you it's worth it. I know this time of year can be especially difficult for many people, please know that you are not alone. Life is a rollercoaster, the highs and lows are all part of our journey and shapes us into who we are. I bet you're doing amazing and your partner and baby are lucky to have you. It's very brave of you to come on here and open up to people. Well done for being able to admit how you feel, it's not always easy. Has something in particular made you feel this way? Does your partner know how you're feeling? 💐

Baby is 8 months. I do have postnatal depression, I was diagnosed a while ago. I'm trying my best in therapy but it comes back time and time again. I've felt let down by my family over Christmas as they are not very supportive and I've realised I actually have no friends at all I can turn to.
I honestly just want to end it all. I look at my baby and the tears won't stop. I have no one around me. My partner is as supportive as he can be, but he's at work so much I spend a lot of time alone. I don't want to keep putting this on him when he's home.
I'm a horrible person for thinking like this, I know I am. But i can't get myself out of it.

Today I was on the receiving end of some pretty horrible comments from someone, too, and it's tipped me from hanging on just about to letting go. I'm just done with this world. I don't think I deserve to live in it anymore.

It’s probably too late and too dark now but if you can get out for some fresh air and change of scenery it really does help.

Hang on in there OP.

You are not horrible. You are normal. PND is common and having these feelings and thoughts is completely understandable. You are doing your best but you are human. Be kind to yourself - this is the chemicals in your brain and hormones in your body getting to you. It’s so so hard. So hard. But it can change.

What can you do right now to nurture yourself and ride this difficult patch? Can you call your family and let them know how you are feeling? If not then please do call the Samaritans. They are amazing. It can be so helpful to just let it all out and be heard.

A reason to live?
Think of all the lives you’ve touched, whether you’re still in contact or not… your family, friends (past or present), husband, baby, someone you gave a smile or a kind word to when they were having a bad day…. And then think of all the lives they touched in a way they wouldn’t have if you hadn’t been there when you were.
Think of all the lives you might touch in the future, and the lives they’ll touch in turn. There’s your reason to live.
You are worthwhile.
You deserve to live, and things will get better. Things always get better, even if not in the way you’d choose or expect. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s not forever. We’ll be here while you ride it out. And to make that ride smoother, reach out in real life too, to your husband/ GP/HV/ family/ friends/ whoever you have