Severe anxiety

[Iloveallofthem]

Hi .

I've posted on here loads. I have severe anxiety and depression.

I am under my GP and speak to them
Weekly. I've got massive trust issues and so find it extremely difficult to access therapy. Medication is hit and miss. I am terrified of the side effects.

My anxiety is extremely bad. I have taken a diazepam tonight just to calm me down.

I have suicidal thoughts and have few people I can talk to about this and how I am feeling.

My husband. My best friend. He picks and chooses when he supports me. In fairness, he doesn't understand mental health but he can be pretty unkind about it at times, yet other times much more supportive and kind.

Please please can anyone advise me what to do. I feel so so alone and not sure how much more of this I can take.

Hi there - I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you have anyone right now in real life who you can talk to?
Can you phone a friend for a chat, even for a distraction?
I hope this passes soon. I wouldn't wish anxiety on my worst enemy.

I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. I can suggest a few things -
increasing/ changing meds, on line counselling/therapy/ CBT, yoga/ thai chi, meditation, if you have any kind of religious faith tapping into it, talking to good understanding friends.

Earlier we had a blazing row.

I left the house. In the snow. In my onesie.

I walked around the streets and found that I needed to come back.

All sorts of stuff entered my head. But I came back. For the Children.

My husband is a Jekyll and Hyde. Quite literally.

It's likely he will go out and leave me in a bit. But everything. Everything is always my fault.

I absolutely do not know what to do from here.

Most of the time he is a delight. Now he is quite literally cruel.

It's absolutely horrible. He will likely ignore me for a few days

ignore him back!!

sort the kids and all their needs, then whats left is for you op!!

take the meds, side effects, if any, will be short lived. what do you enjoy? reading? a film to watch on netflix or a series?

So sorry to hear that you're in such a bad place at the moment OP. I was in a terrible place not so long ago (mine is postnatal related) & medication has worked wonders for me. I know it can be a scary thought at first, but I really do think it's worth a try. I had to switch meds (which filled me with dread) but it was the best thing I did. Sometimes it can take a couple of goes to get it right.

Even though you might not feel like it, exercise also really helps me. Even if it's just getting out for a walk. I also found talking was good - the more I bottled things up, the worse it got.

It's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel when you feel in such a bad place, but there is help out there. Hang on in there - it can feel like the loneliest time, but you are definitely not alone 💛

Thank you for your replies

I've had a complete meltdown tonight.

Absolutely lost it with my
Own mind. Self harmed and haven't stopped crying.

My husband has not more or less given me an ultimatum: get it sorted or we are through.

I understand that he has a lot to deal
with but he works away a lot and has little time or energy to deal with me.

I feel very neglected, lonely and isolated.

I've thought about taking an overdose but that will get me nowhere and I have my beautiful children to think of so that is something that cannot happen.

It's a mental health condition and not something that I can just switch off sadly.

Bump

Do you have a local Mental Health Crisis Team that you can contact? I had to get them involved when I was at my worst. They have some lovely, supportive people that you can talk to.

You will get through this OP 💛 I honestly thought I was broken, but there is a way back x

Thank you for your reply.

I am scared. And I haven't done anything wrong.

I feel absolutely desperate and horrible and don't know what else to do.

Remember that this moment will pass. You won't feel like this forever. You will get through this and will look back at this time feeling stronger

I would see if there is a Crisis Team in your area that you can contact now. If you put it in Google, it should come up. They have someone there 24/7. It might help to talk to someone completely neutral.

I really feel for you as I do know what it's like 💛 It's not an easy road, but there is a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. My doctors weren't particularly helpful, but the Crisis Team got me to see a perinatal doctor who has been wonderful. If you have a good relationship with your doctor, call them first thing & let them know how bad things are. They should see you the same day.

Really consider the meds - I know it's scary, but the way I thought of it was I couldn't have felt any worse than I did, so I had nothing to lose. They honestly saved me xx

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

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