TO JUST WANT TO END IT ALL

[Buttersidedowns]

I will be alone on Christmas Day. My son and husband were killed in a car accident 2 years ago. My son was my only child and my husband the love of my life. My husband and I moved close to my son and dautgher in law 2 1/2 years ago to help with the children and my house is quite isolated though only 5 miles from my grandchildrens home. I do not drive and there is no direct bus route to my Gg home.
Anyway. I look after the children every day of school holidays my DIL drops them with me and then picks them up after work. Other than that I do not see them as I can not get there without a taxi which is expensive.
I have no siblings and my husband brother lives abroad.
I know I will be very sad again on Christmas Day as I have no one to share it with.
I just feel what is the point of carrying on now.

Oh Butterfield please don't. It might not seem like it but life always has the potential to get better. Please reach out for help irl.Tell someone how you are feeling. I only know Pieta House in Ireland but I bet there's loads of places in the UK that will have people who want to help. Don't give up.

I'm so sorry you feel this way.
Can you reach out to samaritans? They were really good when I was suicidal.
116 123 is their number or you can email them
[email protected]

I'm sorry @Buttersidedowns - that sounds a horrible situation and I'm very sorry for your loss. Does your DIL know how you feel? She might be feeling similar if she has also lost her DH. Could you not be with her on Christmas Day?

Long term, is it worth looking to move into a more urban environment where you can get buses and get to meet some more people?

Didn't want to read and run OP.

I am so sorry for your dreadful loss, it must have been shocking and a very difficult time for you.

Short term, can you not stay over at DILs house over Christmas?

Long term, would it make sense to move nearer to DIL?

If you feel really bad please call someone who can help - 116123

That sounds really tough. I don’t have advice but losing your husband and child is an inconsolable tragedy. I’m so sorry for your terrible terrible loss.

Can you speak to your DIL about spending the day with her?

I'm so so sorry you feel this way. Please ring the Samaritans or your GP. Help is there for you.

Re your DIL, could you invite her and your grandchildren to spend one day over Xmas with you?

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I’ve reported the first comment OP. It’s awful - please ignore it. I really hope MN deletes it.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek help and support in real life as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We've moved this thread to the Mental Health section now.

I will report my own comment OP, it was worded awfully. What I mean is in the circumstances I can’t believe someone would be so cruel as to leave you alone for Christmas in these circumstances. That is what is unbelievable.

Speak to the Samaritans or Cruse bereavement support 0808 808 1677. Why are you not spending Christmas Day with your GC? Is your DIL going away?

Good advice above about resources, so I won't repeat.

I really think the best plan - and you need a plan to work to - is to move. Once you've made the decision, you can make a list.

I'm at the beginning of this process myself. It seems overwhelming, but making the decision seems to be the hardest part tbh. Ordering the skip for a good clear-out will be a piece of cake.

Will your DiL and her family help?

In the short term, please call your GP urgantly and get some help

In the longer term it sounds like you need to start making plans to live somewhere less isolated, and start to build up your own life alongside your obviously very important role in your GCs and DiL's lives. You have a lot to contribute to a lot of peole's lives, and they to yours. Including other bereaved people, who you can understand/be understoood by in a way that the rest of us might not be able to.

Why can't you spend Christmas with your DIL and grandchildren?

What a terrible time you've had Op, I think you should seriously think about moving somewhere with a bus link to your DILs house, it will be a huge upheaval for you but I think it would be totally worth it. Maybe if you live in a more urban area you might even find groups, clubs etc to join and make some new friends. I know it must be very difficult.

Oh, OP. That's hard. I totally understand why you want to be childcare when you can - could you move closer to your grandchildren?
Don't end it all. Moods change, feelings change, even circumstances change. But only if you are here to experience them.