Is anyone awake and able to talk?

[Coldorangejuice]

I’m really really struggling right now, I just want to shake myself better or get rid of all of this.

Sorry to hear that op.
I’m awake with dp snoring beside me.
What’s keeping you awake this time of night?

Hello,
I just cannot sleep at the moment. It’s been like this for weeks. My head is pounding and I feel like I’m about to explode and my mind won’t stop going from one thing to the next to the next.
I’m really really struggling and I need to pull myself out of this fucking hole and I have no idea how I do that right now.
Thank you for replying.

Somebody Is knocking my front door very quietly, 3 taps at a time. It’s happened 3 times and I am terrified.
I have 999 ready on my phone but the knocks haven’t happened for a couple of minutes now.

It’s just happened again.

That sounds scary. Is there any ways of seeing if anyone is there without them seeing you?

Can you say what situations are going on which are causing you the most stress? Is there any way the knocking could be part of the stress rather than real?

I waited for a bit to make sure I couldn’t hear anymore knocking and I went with a hammer to the door to peek through a tiny gap but no one was there. I had 999 ready on my phone but I didn’t need to call. I’ve got back into bed with the hammer under my pillow.
I’m a little bit worried incase it wasn’t real knocking but it sounded so so real.

I think you should consider seeing the doctor tomorrow. It may have been real or sleep deprivation but either way, you’re having a really tough time and may need some support.

It didn’t feel like sleep deprivation. It didn’t feel like a maybe. My door was knocked. 3 quiet knocks at a time. I can’t explain the fear inside. What the hell do I say to a doctor?!

Hello, sending hugs

Go in and tell them exactly what you just told us

I am having allot of thoughts that have become louder lately that there is a possibility of them not being true but I don’t think I can be loosing my mind if I’m wondering if there’s a chance I’m loosing my mind.

It’s crap being down a hole,! I’m there all the blooming time , there’s probably a few of us I suspect you’re not alone xxxx

I’m so sorry if you ever feel like this, I wish that no one ever had to feel like this inside.

Our area has a 24/7 MH crisis line, does yours? Can you Google and try them?

I’m not having a mental health crisis, I just need to help myself get out of this hole I’m in. I can do it, I just need to be able to sleep and force myself to get my act together.

But thank you. Sorry if that sounded rude.

What’s happening which is contributing to the hole you’re in? Is it stuff in life which is worrying you specifically or is it an acceleration of tiredness with the poor sleep?

Has the knocking stopped now?

I don’t think there’s much going on in life that is making me feel like this, a couple of things I should absolutely be ok with, nothing that would seem stressful to others I don’t think.
That’s why I’m so angry about this, there’s not even a reason!
I’ve just been struggling more and more to sleep for the last 6 weeks or so, let myself fall into a dark hole again and now it’s starting to feel unbearable.
I just don’t understand it though, nothing bad has happened.

Yes it’s stopped, I haven’t heard it since the last time I wrote that it happened.

What makes you feel so strongly that it isn’t a mental health crisis? Have you been in this position before? What did you do last time if so to pull yourself out of it?

Sorry - I realise I sound like the inquisition. I fully believe what you say.

Thank you.
I just don’t think it can be if I’m questioning that I feel like I’m possibly loosing my mind and thinking oddly.
Surely people who have a crisis don’t realise?
I don’t want to actively end my life or hurt myself so it can’t be a crisis.

Is there anything coming up that might be stressful? Christmas maybe?
I'm guessing if you've been in the hole before you'll have tried all the obviously stuff. Eat well, exercise, fresh air, things that make you feel better?

No Christmas isn’t stressful, I have sorted almost all of the presents I need to buy by buying online.
A couple of stressful things but nothing I shouldn’t be able to deal with.
Yes I try to be mindful and to do the things I’m supposed to do but it’s not working. Some of it I can’t even find the energy or care to do.
It’s not that I don’t want to sort it out, I feel like I can’t and that I just don’t care even though somewhere inside I’m screaming at myself to give a shit enough to get back out of this.
These thoughts are the loudest they’ve ever been but I’m aware that there’s a small chance that they are just thoughts and if they were truly crazy thoughts I wouldn’t question them even a tiny bit.