How to get over job rejection

[Mol1628]

I know it happens to everyone but I’m utterly crushed.
A job I would have loved came available. With hours I can actually do. I have been a sahm for 8 years. And only really had limited work experience before that (same minimum wage job for a long time) I need a job with fixed working days so really hard to get anyway but this job really was perfect

I even managed to get a fucking interview and was told I did really well but they chose someone with more experience. I know I could do the job and do it well. They said they’d keep my details for later on in case they had more hours available but probably just saying that to be nice.

I’ve applied for jobs I’ve really wanted before having children, more career/training type positions when I was younger and it was always the same. Nothing you did wrong but we aren’t choosing you.

I’ve self harmed for the first time in over ten years. I know it’s pathetic over a job but I’m so miserable not earning my own money and having no self worth. And there are no other opportunities for me I have such limited options. Just being a failure again is absolutely devastating.

I know everyone will say but you did well to get an interview. But that means nothing to me. That doesn’t improve my life at all it’s meaningless.

Oh and I can’t even go swimming which is my usual healthy release because I have a chest infection. Horrahh.

I’m afraid this is fairly normal for lots of people. And it really isn’t personal. Although sometimes an employer might not think you’re the best fit for the organisation, in which case they did you a favour. But there are loads of qualified applicants for many jobs so it can be difficult for employers to choose. What is the role?

Any rejection is upsetting and being a SAHM leads to some of us losing our identity. It was your first interview so try to be kind to yourself. Is there anyone you can talk to about the self-harming? To hold down a job that can be demanding requires some resilience to set backs so getting this compulsion to self-harm under control is really important.

It was nothing special it was a sales /retail job minimum wage but for a specific area of retail that I love and have a lot of specialist knowledge about. But it still wasn’t enough.

So if I can’t even get those jobs then there’s no point trying.

Sorry you didn't get the job, that is very disappointing.
I think its ok to have a bit of a mope about it, because it is depressing when you want something badly, but it absolutely is no reflection on your worth as a human being.

You can get those jobs, you just didn’t get this one this time, that’s all.

It is so disheartening to not get a job you really wanted. But it doesn't mean that you never will. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Keep looking. Keep applying. Something will come up and it will be great. I really hope you feel better soon.

My niece was in a high flying job before she had children. Now she's looking for work again ten years later and has had 3 offers: a dinner lady, a post delivery person and a shop job involving weekend work. Seems you might have to lower your sights OP

Definitely don’t want a high flying job. This was minimum wage shop job with weekend work.

I interview people and if I really liked the unsuccessful ones I do tell them I'll keep their details..... and I do call them when I've got the hours! It's not being nice it's true!

If you've been out the workforce for 8 years, is there something practical you can do to update your skill - vol work, evening classes.
If this is the first interview you've had in all that time you've done very well and the offer to keep your details might pan out for you. Either way
don't give up, looking for a job is gruelling, you'll get there in the end

I did actually get a voluntary job a few months ago I was promised it and they let me down. That’s all that ever happens even if everything seems to be going ok I never get any further.

It is disheartening and you should grieve this opportunity - but as pps have said, it's not that you can't get these jobs, it's that you didn't get that job. So don't give up with this company if it's quite a niche area.

Keep hold of the contact details of your contact and drop them another line in 2 months, then 4 months and so on. Hello X, I do hope you don't mind me getting in touch again. I'm still very keen to work for [company] because this is really my area of expertise and I loved the ethos when I came in for interview. I thought I'd just get back in touch to see if there are any vacancies coming up in the next month or so?

And then find a slightly different approach the following time, adding something like 'i was in store and noticed you had x product - it's such a great range and I was really impressed to see it in stock' or 'I have recently completed a course in X to improve my Y skills and I just wanted to get in touch in case you had any new vacancies, either as a retail assistant or in a related role.

Obviously I am making this up but you can make it work.

Keep the communications short and when they get back with 'no sorry nothing right now' say 'No problem! I'll get back in touch in a few months in case the situation changes.

This way you demonstrate you are proactive, personable, and committed. Eventually they will cave! I have got jobs like this more than once.

Can you try applying for seasonal work. My dd applied to loads of retail jobs and only got one interview as a Xmas temp in JLewis. It’s a foot in the door as loads of retailers have shut and experienced staff are out there. She was getting fed up too.

I meant to say 'got and given jobs like this more than once'

You just have to keep trying, I know it’s disheartening but no one gets anywhere by giving up after every set back. There’s lots of work available at the moment, getting some experience shouldn’t be too difficult if you maybe widen your search a bit.

@Scabetty

Can you try applying for seasonal work. My dd applied to loads of retail jobs and only got one interview as a Xmas temp in JLewis. It’s a foot in the door as loads of retailers have shut and experienced staff are out there. She was getting fed up too.

This is very good advice, even a month or so of recent experience will stand you in much better stead for future job applications. It might not seem it, but to even get an interview is a great achievement, part time retail jobs are actually very competitive around here, not an easy job to get anymore by any means.

Unfortunately I can’t do the hours/flexibility required for all the seasonal jobs I’ve seen. Happy to do the job just can’t do the hours.

Doesn’t matter anyway it’s my fault for being stupid but thanks for the replies.

@Mol1628

Doesn’t matter anyway it’s my fault for being stupid but thanks for the replies.

Its not your fault and you are not stupid. What would you say to a friend in your position ?

You’re not stupid. Your circumstances right low make things difficult for you. But you are not stupid, or your application would not have got you an interview Persevere and I promise you will prevail.

Weirdly sometimes low paid jobs have fierce competition with many highly qualified applicants, especially if it's a naice job.

Thanks litcrit but I don’t think so. It’s too much to go into but every experience trying to better myself has ended really badly. It must be me at this stage.
My whole body feels numb I’m just so done with it all. I know it’s a pathetic response to a normal situation I really do despise myself.

It’s really hard OP, when you start working towards a better future and get knocked back. It sounds like you are very keen to start work again. Please don’t let this put you off applying for more.

I was rejected for a job I had loads of experience for, after being at home. I can’t lie-I was devastated. I got a 0 hours job way below my capabilities instead, just to prove I’m reliable and can work. Then, after a few months I got a post doing what I love again. I think when you’ve had time off it puts you at a disadvantage so it’s a bit like you have to prove yourself again.

I think @dangermouseisace is right. Another thing you can do is to ask for interview feedback. If there are any things that aren't quite hitting the right note, then you could work on them - learn to make more eye contact, be more can-do/cheery, that kind of thing. It also shows that you are serious about moving forward - again a plus point if another role comes up.

It's something that lots of good people who go on to find good work experience and you're not alone. Try and not think about it today - do something nice/ nice dinner/long bath if you can. Don't allow it to crush you or you'll have lost out twice, if you see what I mean. Then tomorrow, start again with one of the ideas above.

I think you sound great and I think things will come good.