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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Original poster

I cant do this anymore

20 replies

Hopelessandown · 17/10/2021 00:54

I feel so pathetic writing this. I know lots of people have things going on, more so worse than me. But I've been holding on for so long and life has been rentless. I'm so so tired. I've started fantasizing about driving my car into a wall. I'm so so unhappy. I've never felt this unhappy before. I've gone into a major state of depression and have begun dissociating. I feel unattached from everything and life is flying me by. I can feel I'm reaching to a pinnacle and one crack away from a mental breakdown. I know no one can help me and again I feel so pathetic being this desperate. I dont know what I'm trying to achieve airing this all out but I really dont want to give up on life. I have a baby to live for. I just want to be happy

OP posts:

happinessischocolate · 17/10/2021 01:08

I know no one can help me

Yes they can actually. We've been there and there is so much help out there. Posting here is a great start. Stay here we will help anyway we can

Tigerwhocameforsupper · 17/10/2021 01:15

You can recognise how you feel and that’s a great start. Are you safe for tonight? Phone the Samaritans, even if just to repeat exactly what you have said here.

Skinnymuffins · 17/10/2021 01:15

@Hopelessandown thank you for posting this! Because you know what it says, that in fact you're not hopeless and definitely not pathetic.

Some people cannot bring themselves to be as open and honest about how they're feeling so you should be really pleased you're already on the way to being the person you want to be for you and your baby.

There are so many helplines to get started, to help you speak to someone who are non judgemental and just listen.

The samaritans are a great place to start and have a 24 hour free helpline and if you Google mental health services in your area you should be able to find something more localised. Please continue to post here as it's such a good start

happinessischocolate · 17/10/2021 01:32

I always think, when I'm that far down that if I'm really at the bottom then surely things can only improve. If you're never felt this bad before then you have felt better, and you will feel better again. Life can be shit, but if you get through the bad bits the better times are there waiting for you. You can and will get there. Hang on in there, nothing last forever.

Original poster

Hopelessandown · 17/10/2021 01:32

I did consider phone samaritans as I really just feel like I need to air my grievances out one by one. But I've done this years before and it never really helped in the grand scheme of things. I am safe. I dont think I'll ever actually do anything, I couldn't do that to my child. But I'm so lost and down I dont know what else to do. The thought of just waking up to exist in this misery is soul draining.

OP posts:

Skinnymuffins · 17/10/2021 01:36

@Hopelessandown

Has anything triggered this? Any major life event?

happinessischocolate · 17/10/2021 01:37

Try Samaritans again. And again if need be. They are great and trained, but are only human and maybe the one you spoke to before couldn't help, but the next one might be a better fit.

Original poster

Hopelessandown · 17/10/2021 01:43

@Skinnymuffins a chain of events. But yesterday was wave of light and I spent all night grieving the baby I lost. It felt refreshing to cry but this morning i woke up and felt completely depleted. Life has been very hard lately.

OP posts:

Springplanting · 17/10/2021 01:56

felt completely depleted

Please speak to your Doctor.

As well as your mental health your physical health may need replenishing. Are you eating well? Have you got enough B12 and are your iron levels ok? Your body has been through so much. Grieving is healthy but draining and exhausting. Sunlight does help even if it is 10mins in the garden or a walk.

Skinnymuffins · 17/10/2021 02:00

[quote Hopelessandown]@Skinnymuffins a chain of events. But yesterday was wave of light and I spent all night grieving the baby I lost. It felt refreshing to cry but this morning i woke up and felt completely depleted. Life has been very hard lately.[/quote]
Oh gosh I'm so sorry. But you need to speak to someone about that specifically and any other triggers. There's so many people out there ready to help you

Anon778833 · 17/10/2021 02:01

Well done for posting. Please don’t give up.

You sound very depressed. Please try to hold onto the fact that this is temporary. You can and will feel better. Keep posting.

Springplanting · 17/10/2021 02:12

It is awful now and it is a physically nd emotionally draining process.
I am truly sorry.

Keep talking.

It may not feel like it but you are already starting to heal by reaching out. Sleep pattern eating well and talking is very important.

Please speak with your GP

Tilltheend99 · 17/10/2021 02:54

If calling a help line didn’t work out for you maybe you could try using a text line and writing down how you feel.

Text SHOUT to 85258 it’s 24h they will reply very quickly and the messages are free.

Torvean · 17/10/2021 02:59

You're not pathetic , and you don't have to apologise.
It's good that you're talking.
Please talk to your Gp there is help out there. And you deserve to get any help you need.

Please keep talking.

Twocrabs30 · 17/10/2021 03:31

OP, I was at your point perhaps 6 weeks ago, and I spoke with my GP and I have now started anti-depressants for the first time. I have turned a corner and only wished I had gone on them sooner - perhaps 3 years earlier, then wait till I had deteriorated to the very low and bleak point that I had fallen to. Please speak to your GP. As you know, it’s not normal to feel the way you do and I only wish I had spoken to my GP sooner.

for your courage for speaking up and recognising you need help. This is the first step in a positive direction

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 17/10/2021 04:03

Oh, love, you're showing such courage even by reaching out here.

You are every bit as entitled to support and guidance as any one of us feeling overwhelmed and miserable.

We have your back, and there are friendly professionals at the end of a phone/text who WILL understand.

It's so hard and draining when hopelessness muddles all thinking.

I'm so very sorry for your loss of your baby.
SANDS may be of use, if and when YOU feel ready:
www.sands.org.uk/support-you/how-we-offer-support

MazIsWin22 · 17/10/2021 04:07

Can I just say that I am so proud of you for recognising your emotions and how they are affecting you, for recognising that you need help (even if you worry you might not get what you need) you still recognised it and reached out to people. Thats such a big thing to do and I don't know you but damn I am so so proud of you. You are so much stronger than you are giving yourself credit for, reach out to your GP on Monday and find what could work for you. Keep going, it will be okay in time x

MintyCedric · 17/10/2021 04:28

[quote Tilltheend99]If calling a help line didn’t work out for you maybe you could try using a text line and writing down how you feel.

Text SHOUT to 85258 it’s 24h they will reply very quickly and the messages are free.

I found this much easier personally as I could get all my thoughts together in my own time. (It would be a bit like chatting on mn now but the person on the other end is trained to help you through this difficult time) Wishing you the best
giveusashout.org/get-help/how-shout-works/[/quote]
I will wholeheartedly second this...I've used them a few times over the last 18 months (was caring for my dad who was on end of life care and passed away in May) and found them so kind and helpful.

Cruse Bereavement counselling offer a live webchat service as well as phone lines which is also good.

Do take care of yourself as best you can and reach out to the people in your life (including your GP) to help you .

Bailey2404 · 17/10/2021 04:32

Well done for reaching out and voicing your feelings. That takes a lot of bravery and courage!

Feeling helpless is awful. Please know that there's plenty of support for you.

I can't understand your own personal circumstances but I know from my own that life can take a drastic turn of events in the blink of eye, sometimes for the worse sometimes for the better. Focus on that happening to you for the better.

Take care xx

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 17/10/2021 10:42

Hello OP,
We're really sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment.
We hope you don't mind, but we thought we'd send a link to our Mental Health resources. As others have mentioned, you can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].
We're going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly where we think you'll get lots more support from people who've been in your shoes.
We hope things start to improve for you soon.

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