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I don’t want to be here anymore

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ston · 09/10/2021 08:44

I (24F) can’t seem to live with the decisions I’ve made in the past 2 years. If I had made different choices, my life would be very different right now.

I went through a break up two months ago and it has really put everything into perspective for me. I had acne as a teenager which really impacted my self confidence, so when I went to uni I think I tried to reinvent myself a bit. I ended up getting with my boyfriend after a few months of being there. Looking back I don’t think I had the chance to find my true identity, as I already had wrapped my self identity into him.

My background is working class although my parents worked hard and we live in a nice area in a nice house. My boyfriends family were middle class and I think I put my identity into his as I felt like I was experiencing all of the things that I had maybe missed out on when I was younger.

I still managed to get into a good uni but always felt like the odd one out as everyone was posh and rich. I am from the Midlands and I really think I experienced prejudice over my accent.

After I graduated I decided I wanted to take a year out to go travelling, and spend time with my Nan who was ill at the time. She passed away in the September after uni finished.. right when I should have been applying for grad schemes to start the next year. I did apply for some, but just didn’t go to the assessment centre due to lack of confidence/ didn’t know if it was actually what I wanted to do. Of course I couldn’t go travelling either.

Then covid happened and I think I got comfortable / the uncertainty scared me. I again applied for grad schemes to start this year, got through to my dream job assessment centre and bottled it again due to self confidence. I think my boyfriend telling me we would be together anyway and it didn’t matter where I was in the country put my mind at ease. He told me we would get a house where he lived by London. I ended up getting a job an hour and a half commute from my hometown, not exactly what I wanted to do but a good company. Working from home but now they say we have to go in 3 times a week. I thought I’d go to London in 2022.

That brings me to now - I have had to go on anti depressants which don’t seem to be doing anything. I am working from home for this company but can barely do my work at the moment. I hate driving but will have to drive all these miles for work. I feel like my intelligence and personality have gone due to this brain fog I’m getting. I hardly have any friends as I didn’t put as much effort as I should have into them due to being with my ex. The friends I have seen have been distant since I’ve got depression. I am getting acne again and have really low self esteem over my face / how I dress. My ex is living a great life without me and I can’t get over taking the rejection personally.

I don’t feel like I can come back from this.

Sorry for the long post - I just needed to get it all out.

MillieMumsnet · 09/10/2021 14:02

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Flowers
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
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