Single parent here. I'm just overwhelmed. Work, housework. Everything. My house is always a mess even though I feel like I spend hours trying to keep on top of it. It's mostly clean but ALWAYS messy. My garden is a jungle. Only thing I can keep up with is laundry. Kids 3 and 6. I'm fed up. Toddler tantrums, after school meltdowns. I dread 4pm-9pm every single night. Battle for them to eat dinner, for DS1 to read to me, bathtime, teeth, pyjamas, stories, bedtime. Everything is a battle.
Everything down to me. Budgeting. Money. School admin. Life admin. All my responsibility. I screamed at DS1 tonight. Can't cope anymore. Both kids still awake. Still tidying up to do plus dishwasher plus laundry plus everything fucking else. Working from home for the foreseeable so no real adult conversation all day.
More than once I've considered taking my own life but then who would look after the kids. No one else would be able to cope with them. Most people comment on how difficult they are. I've been on high dose anti depressants for months now. No other help available and don't have time for therapy anyway.
And my mum helps when she can. So I'm lucky in that respect. Their dad is involved too. Why can't I cope? Life is so miserable. 9 months doing this on my own and it's just miserable and not improving. tonight I just feel dreadful and gloomy and an awful mother.