To think that i could actually die from no sleep?

[Defeatedbylife]

Im so exhausted,feeling sick exhausted,feeling very dizzy exhausted,all confused exhausted.ive not slept a full nights sleep in over 11 years,my son has severe Autism and barely sleeps,its got worst as hes got older,hes on every medication he can be on.Every thing has beem tried.He copes well on two or three hours at the most every night.im not coping,finding myself unable to concentrate,feel shaky,weepy,and unable to drive.
I sometimes wish i would just die so i wouldnt need to live this miserable existence. Ive no joy,every day is a repeat of the previous day,hard work on constant vigilance to keep him safe.
Its 5.30am ive had one hours sleep in between running all over the house after him.

You cannot go on like this...no one could. It's intolerable. I don't have direct experience but I have read of similar situations on here. I read on here once of a mum who literally phoned social services and said she would relinquish her child to their care...she got her respite then. I imagine it's cheaper for them to provide regular respite than suddenly have a child they need to find full time care for. They won't want to do that.

You really need some help. Contact social services and for an assessment for respite.
Also try your local carers service and see if they can offer you support.

Have you ever spoken to the children's sleep charity? They were set up by parents of children with sen, they might be able to help.
thesleepcharity.org.uk/

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Some further support links:

NHS: Where to get urgent help for mental health
NHS: Looking after your mental health
MIND: Coping with mental health problems during coronavirus

CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably
NHS: Help for suicidal thoughts

We're going to move the thread to the Mental Health topic now.

Very best wishes from MNHQ.

[quote JackGrealishIsMyNewManCrush]@Defeatedbylife This is one of a number of threads you have started this past few weeks. Including one where you said you wanted to take your own life... You DESPERATELY need help sweetie.

I am not an expert, but from what you have said, it sounds like you need to have your boy put into specialist care, maybe even permanently, with you having access to him one or two days a week. (Or maybe even foster care...)

Is there a dad on the scene or is it just you?

Contact social services, before you do something desperately sad, and your son is left without you. Tell them you are not coping, and need to place him into foster care.

On a thread you posted last week, someone said they know a woman who placed her son into foster care, the foster carer got tons of help with him. WAY more than the birth mother!

Anyway, please contact social services. You cannot go on.[/quote]
op, posts like this.

Plus could you think about asking for help from churches[]perhaps not the ones with elderly in them]. Or help from your local community?

Sleep is vital. Rest too.

Is he taking Melatonin?

This is outrageous.
OP contact your GP and tell them that you are unable to cope any longer. Ask them to support you wrt social services.
I have a friend in a similar situation. Her ex husband left her alone to manage their son.
She did exactly what pp are saying and her son was given a place in a residential facility with high staffing levels. She visits regularly.

OP this is awful! We NEED sleep just like food and water.
Do you have any family members who can care for him so you can have a good nights sleep, failing that could you pay an babysitter just so you can have a sleep!

Do you mind saying what area you area are in so people can give better advice?

@Defeatedbylife

Ive been desperately suicidal all night ,ive finally had three hours and feel semi human. My head is banging a drum loud as can be.no friends or family support,social work have been tried theres no overnight available due to his level of needs

I'm going to be very blunt. They'd find care if you actually harmed yourself. So there is care. In normal times id just present at SS and tell them your suicidal right now and need respite and don't leave. But I have no idea what they're doing about seeing people at the moment. Call the emergency team though, not just the same SW.

@toocold54

OP this is awful! We NEED sleep just like food and water. Do you have any family members who can care for him so you can have a good nights sleep, failing that could you pay an babysitter just so you can have a sleep!

I'm sure your suggestion comes from a place of kindness, but hiring a babysitter for a child with severe special needs is pretty much impossible.

I agree with a pp who said ss would find care if they had to. If you turned up and handed your ds over, they'd look after him somehow. But I imagine they're overworked and underfunded so if they can avoid it, they will. You need to be really honest. Don't sugar coat it or say that you're managing. You're not. Tell them

Tell SS you are suicidal and cannot safely care for him.

OP, please ring your GP and tell them you are having a mental health crisis.
tell them everything of your situation.
say you cannot go on as you are.
say, please help me.