I am feeling very very very down and lonely. I need to talk to someone, anyone who will listen.
I posted a few days ago about my relationship that turned abusive and so had to end. I have had weak moments and felt like going back and he knows I still feel strongly. Confusing for me. So he comes back and says "let's stay friends and maybe if we can get on we might be able to be together in the future" i know that he has been on dates with other women and was still talking to them but he explained it just doesn't feel right. I said "I want you to get anger management and you will have to get rid of the other woman" his reply "I cant tell her now as she is on holiday and that would be out of order and hurtful". I said "so its ok to hurt me all that you have as well as by keeping her there". The anger management he wouldn't even consider. So I told him I dont want to stay friends... I just want to stop contact and get over this now. I cant stay friends as that is going to just open me up to hurt etc.
After this I just feel completely worthless. Like I'm not even a human being. It doesn't matter about all the things he has said to me... like ugly, rat, stupid,etc the hitting... the emotional damage. But for this stranger he cant bring himself to say anything nasty....
I feel like shit on the floor and all evening I just have been thinking about suicide. Its so bad and my mental health is awful. Its obviously not just this incident. Its the culmination of everything.
I am very sad.