So I feel as though one day I will just let go. Everytime I think I will end it all I think of the pain I would cause to everyone. After the last week when my relative got married I actually realised my absence wouldn't cause any pain to anyone long term. Ok they may be sad but my absence would be felt. There is no who needs me or depends on me. I realised more and more I'm a nuisance. I never try to be, I try my best to be nice and helpful but I'm regarded as a nuisance.
Since my childhood I've been ridiculed and just not acknowledged by friends, family and parents alike.
Simple things that come naturally to people are a struggle to me/for me.
I'm tired and genuinly have no one to talk to. I've never been the one anyone rushes to spend time with, as an adult and when I was a child. I'm always on the outside looking in.
I can't physically end my life but I've no fear if I did die.