Parents- Would you be happy for a teacher with a personality disorder to teach your child?

[Cordelia91]

I am a teacher with Borderline Personality Disorder. My school know and are absolutely brilliant about it. They have done everything they can to support me so that I can thrive at work, and have encouraged me to talk about my condition openly with colleagues to promote awareness and understanding. My question to parents is, if you knew your child's teacher had BPD, would it be an issue for you? Would you be comfortable with them teaching your child?

I absolutely love my job- it gives me a huge sense of purpose and fulfilment, appraisals have always been very positive and I have great relationships with my students. I'm also heavily involved in mental health initiatives at my school. Despite colleagues knowing and being fine with it, I have been advised against telling the kids because of the stigma around BPD and the concern that parents might object if they knew their child had a teacher with BPD. I don't mind keeping it to myself, but I was curious about whether the school's fears were unfounded or not? I'm not the only teacher with BPD at my school and we were wondering what parent opinion may be on this?

Im a parent myself and personally would like it if my daughter had more diverse role models in terms of mental health. I appreciate that's because my perspective might be a little different though, as someone with a mental health condition.

Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts!

I think it’s your private medical information and it wouldn’t be appropriate to share with parents, same as if it was a chronic physical health problem.

I think it would distract from your role as a teacher and it really isn’t relevant for parents or children to know. You are there for the children and it sounds like you are doing a great job. It’s very possible to educate about MH without using yourself as an example.

I’m an RMN and whilst I have had some mental health difficulties in my life, I would never consider it appropriate to disclose to patients.

I don’t think this is appropriate to share with parents. I can imagine if you told a child off, with some parents in some areas, it would be blamed on your mental health and could become a nasty witch-hunt conducted on class WhatsApp groups. I’d be cautious of being the ‘teacher with mental health difficulties’. Why do you have to make it known?

How would I know?
Medical conditions are private and confidential, I would have no idea plus it’s none of my business.

It’s like asking if we would object to a diabetic teacher or an asthmatic teacher teaching our kids, no one would bat and eye!

You sound like a bloody cracking teacher, that’s all I’m bothered about!

I'd be thinking about what a teacher does, not what labels they have. I would worry if it was shared (with kids or parents) though as that seems unboundaried which in itself could be a red flag. There must be loads of teachers with various MH needs. I don't judge them for it and I don't need to know.

I think I agree with the pp who said the only worry would be lack of boundaries and for me that hits the nail on the head. I had a friend who treated people appallingly who was diagnosed with BPD and I’d be wary for that reason alone, I saw her lash out viciously at people, including her own family and I had to go no contact in the end. DD had a secondary teacher who had an OCD diagnosis whose classroom was plastered with OCD pride posters. It made me very uncomfortable. Not the diagnosis itself, but the total lack of professional boundaries. It was no surprise to me that she was the one running the LGBTQ club that ended up with a huge trans skew and filled with autistic children. In that instance her lack of boundaries was dangerous. Among adults, sharing your diagnosis is fair enough and your choice, but in a setting where you hold a position of authority it just seems inappropriate.

It's none of our business what mental health/medical issues a teacher has, I don't think. So long as they don't affect their ability to do their job.

I agree with other posters who have said that they wouldn't have a problem with it but would find it odd that it was disclosed. My daughter is 15 and I have never once been told about any of her teachers medical conditions. Would make me wonder why I needed to know about BPD and it would raise alarm bells.

I'm autistic and kind of understand the disclosing thing - it's part of your identity isn't it and explains so much?

However, I don't think that everyone needs to know everything. Your pupils and their parents don't need to know you that much and some professional distance is good.

I have also got the impression from some people that sharing a diagnosis makes them think you're just looking for a way to excuse yourself for poor performances.

It’s irrelevant and will unnecessarily complicate your professional relationship with your pupils and their parents.

It wouldn't bother me at all. However there is a lot of stigma and prejudice around BPD so other people won't feel that way.

Also, there's the very real risk of them watching for you to slip and putting any complaints you have about their child/themselves and any issues down to your diagnosis. It's just not worth it.

You can open up if and when appropriate and relevant that you have mental health issues but I wouldn't do a full disclosure.

Honestly…..that would concern me.

If I knew the teacher had BPD, I would want to know more details about how severe it was, how it might affect them in the classroom, what medication they were on etc etc - which obviously I would have no right whatsoever to know or to ask about.

So I’d be left wondering, and concerned, because I wouldn’t have enough information to really know how much of an issue it was.

Does that make sense?

So if your school is happy that your condition is not a problem, I’d just keep it quiet. No need to tell the parents and cause issues really.

I would say it should be less about stigma and more about the fact that it’s no one else’s business! I would not have any issues at all as a parent, but also don’t feel like I have to (or have any right to) know about teachers medical/personal lives

Provided a condition did not impact upon the pupils I can't see how parents would be bothered, but I think it should not be shared with children or parents. Teachers health and private lives are there own, by sharing it puts focus on the teachers circumstance whereas the focus should be the children's needs

Glad you’re doing so well and school are so supportive.
I think BPD has a particularly bad reputation, mostly because it’s badly named and little understood. I believe they are looking at changing it to complex PTSD which explains the condition much better I think. So there might be some bad reactions amongst parents.

On whether you should tell parents or kids at all. Usually it’s not wise to share too much vulnerability with children because it makes them feel responsible for you, which they shouldn’t.
I also don’t think it would be appropriate to share with parents. Generally professional boundaries would mean I wouldn’t and shouldn’t know this about my child’s teacher. I suspect my chiild’s teacher has depression for example, but I would be completely out of line to ask her and she probably shouldn’t tell me! Likewise I don’t share my health with my child’s teacher (unless it was very very seriously life and death like a cancer diagnosis).

it's part of your identity isn't it and explains so much?

A teacher shouldn't be behaving in ways that need 'explaining' through a BPD diagnoses. Nobody at work should see anything other than professional behaviour.

I know nothing about BPD.

If this was disclosed I would be concerned. My thinking would go: if this isn't an issue in the classroom, why is it being disclosed, and if it is an issue in the classroom, how is it going to impact my child.

Thanks everyone! I have no intention of disclosing as I really don't think it would benefit me or anyone else as it has no bearing on my conduct in the classroom, I was just wondering as myself and another teacher with BPD were curious about how parents might feel if they knew. I love my job and get so much out of it. I got my BPD diagnosis last year after years of professionals not really knowing what was wrong with me (I meet five of the nine criteria so I'm maybe not a 'typical' borderline) despite there being both schizophrenia and BPD in my family. I seem to thrive at work but I tend to be much more destructive during the holidays when I struggle with the lack of structure and routine that school gives me and without interaction with students and colleagues. I totally take on board what you've said about parents' perceptions of how I handle situations being influenced if they knew. I don't really know how it is now, but I went to a small village high school where everyone knew each other and when a teacher had a breakdown, everyone knew about it, and when they returned to work people seemed to view them differently, as less capable I suppose. Your replies have been really interesting to read!

I would only be interested in how it impacted my child.
I don’t think a teachers health is any of my business or the business of their pupils. I wouldn’t expect a teachers MH to be discussed with the pupils any more than their cancer or diabetes for example.

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

it's part of your identity isn't it and explains so much?

A teacher shouldn't be behaving in ways that need 'explaining' through a BPD diagnoses. Nobody at work should see anything other than professional behaviour.

Yes, that's what I said isn't it? I was just saying I understood the impulse.

I really wouldn't see what business it was of mine unless it affected the teachers ability to do the job in the classroom.

Can you do your job effectively and reliably? If so then I’m happy.
My only concern would be if your condition was disruptive to my child’s education.

I think it's actually a good thing, since you maybe able to understand and sympathise with the children with mh issues.
I don't think it's a great idea to disclose to the children and parents, because there are many people with many different opinions. But I think if I ever find out if my dc's teacher has any condition, only thing that matters to me is if my dc is happy and learning, that's all that matters.

My son's gf has EUPD. She isn't actually well enough to work right now but if she was teaching I'd have no concerns about her safety to do so. She'd be a great teacher actually, since she's very patient and understanding. I think what matters is how this manifests with you and your behaviour at work. I don't think parents or pupils need to know about it really, only your employer.

So long as the person is a good teacher, my child is learning and my child enjoys being in their class, I literally couldn't care less about any other detail. They could be male, female, trans, gay, straight, bi, black, white, green with pink spots, religious, not religious, disabled, mentally or physically or anything else for that matter, absolutely none of my business as long as you don't try to foist your personal views on my child!

The only teacher I have ever had a problem with was a very religious music teacher who decided to "teach" the class that being gay was wrong and that gay marriage was an abomination.... Oh no you don't, matey!!