Parents- Would you be happy for a teacher with a personality disorder to teach your child?

[Cordelia91]

I am a teacher with Borderline Personality Disorder. My school know and are absolutely brilliant about it. They have done everything they can to support me so that I can thrive at work, and have encouraged me to talk about my condition openly with colleagues to promote awareness and understanding. My question to parents is, if you knew your child's teacher had BPD, would it be an issue for you? Would you be comfortable with them teaching your child?

I absolutely love my job- it gives me a huge sense of purpose and fulfilment, appraisals have always been very positive and I have great relationships with my students. I'm also heavily involved in mental health initiatives at my school. Despite colleagues knowing and being fine with it, I have been advised against telling the kids because of the stigma around BPD and the concern that parents might object if they knew their child had a teacher with BPD. I don't mind keeping it to myself, but I was curious about whether the school's fears were unfounded or not? I'm not the only teacher with BPD at my school and we were wondering what parent opinion may be on this?

Im a parent myself and personally would like it if my daughter had more diverse role models in terms of mental health. I appreciate that's because my perspective might be a little different though, as someone with a mental health condition.

Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts!

I wouldn’t mind at all, you sound wonderful, you have a diagnosis, support and it sounds like buckets full of self awareness and empathy.

I understand the school’s concerns about disclosing your condition though, there’s still a lot of ignorance and stigma out there around BPD and I’d hate for you to be in receipt of it from parents

Personally I would be fine with it but I agree that many parents would not understand it at all and have the potential to react negatively. A teachers health condition is not usually shared widely with the general public so I would keep it between you and your management in order to protect yourself from "concerned" (uninformed) parents.

I think it’s more a line between personal medical information and that which is public. Kids/ families don’t know about most medical stuff I have- because I am their teacher, not pal. I can see how being a role model may be positive, but think it is past the line for me.

Not quite the same thing but I'm a teacher with an adult diagnosis of autism. I asked how parents would feel about having their child taught by someone with autism. An overwhelming number of posters said that they would be fine, not all parents would be understanding, teachers' health conditions are private and it's best not to disclose.

I would be completely fine with it. But also, I think you are entitled to keep private medical information to yourself and I personally wouldn't share a diagnosis with my students. No stigma, I just don't think it's any of their business.

I agree that private health conditions are private.

I would not have an issue with the Dcs having a teacher with MH issues. I am quite sure they have many teachers with all sorts of MH issues. It's a normal part of life!

Well, there is a stigma about BPD so I would keep that private if I was you.
I would not worry about this as a parent, but I think a few people might do.
Parents would not choose to have someone "emotionally unstable" in charge of their kids (EUPD being the other name for BPD).
They might think that this would affect your relationship with the children. At its worst BPD can be a frightening condition in which some people find it difficult to function well in a job. That doesn't sound like it's the case for you.
It sounds like you have got your difficulties with this very well managed. But I think it's a private thing.

I feel I want to be fine with it. The right thing to do would be to be fine with it. However its hard enough to hand your child over to a stranger and I would be concerned as to how u controlled the class. How you perceived childhood falls outs and bickering that always happens and how you respond in difficult social situations. You are probably fine but I guess I dont know enough about borderline personality disorder to feel totally comfortable. I do feel guilty though I would want me/my children to be accepted so should be accepting of others. But it would concern me.

As a parent I have no issue with a teacher with a mental health condition or a physical condition and welcome diversity of all types. I'm not sure I would expect or need to be told about it, in the same way I don't know whether my colleagues at work have a mental health condition. I would have no problem with it being discussed with my kids but my DH has a mental health condition and we talk about that so they wouldn't bat an eyelid! I'm not sure everyone has the same approach though (given the controversy around discussing puberty at our school!).

I am surprised that you’ve been encouraged to disclose your MH diagnosis to your colleagues. I would have thought any diagnosis would have been kept between you and HR.

Does it impact your ability to teach? If the answer is no, then as a parent I would be fine with it. That being said, I don’t think I’d openly share it as i wouldn’t want the diagnosis to cloud people’s opinion of my competence, but that’s just me.

My only concern for my kids teachers is that they are able to do their job tbh. If a teacher has a mental or physical health problem I do not need to or really want to hear about it. It's personal and I think disclosing something like this is setting yourself up for potential unnecessary hassle, because there is always that one person. It wouldn't even have to be badly meant, but realistically not everyone will be willing or able to understand your condition.

Depends the age you teach for me. Your medical condition is irrelevant when it comes to teaching my kid, but I also don't see a need for my kid to know your medical history, unless it's likely to be an issue in class- same as any other kid. I'd (maybe) like (wrong word) to know if a teacher was diabetic or epileptic, purely so the kids could help if needed in the even if a medical emergency. Anything else, no thanks. My kid doesn't need to know anyone's mental health history, student or teacher.

@Halo1234 I think that's a normal response which is why parents don't need to know a teacher's health conditions. It might raise concerns that you would not otherwise have. Parents are entitled to raise issues related to their child's teacher - its probably more helpful if these are based on direct observations rather than prejudice.

I don't mean you are prejudiced btw, just that an awareness of a condition like this could skew any legitimate concerns raised.

Honestly, I wouldn’t. I’d be nervous and probably interpret anything you did through a filter.

And I realise writing this, that a disclosed disorder is far more likely to be well managed and monitored.

I had teachers myself who were quite clearly struggling with their mental health, back in the day when they held a lot more power and dc were trapped in the classroom.

I can absolutely see that increased awareness and acceptance is ultimately a good thing. But it would make me very nervous.

As long as you are mentally well and managing your condition, then there would be no problem but I don't think the parents or kids need to know. Somebody would take it the wrong way and create all sorts of fuss about it.

I think it’s more a line between personal medical information and that which is public.

I agree. I would wonder why a teacher disclosed any health condition to pupils. It feels a bit too personal to me.

I'll be honest, as unpopular as it will make me.

It depends.

With appropriate treatments ensuring you are symptom free - I wouldn't have an issue.

But if you were having impulsive behaviour, disturbed thinking, emotional instability, explosive anger etc then yes, that would concern me

EUPD/BPD absolutely fine. As long as a person has strategies they need to manage their lives and be professional at work then it's all good (and that applies to any MH condition). Narcissistic PD or antisocial PD not so much. I wouldn't have the right to know about it though but if I found out if be concerned.
Definitely no reason to tell the kids though. That would be inappropriate.

I don't feel the need to know personal details about my child's teachers. I don't need to know if they are diabetic or have BPD.

There was a time my DS was struggling to go to school. His class teacher phoned me at home to explain the reason she hadn't been at work for two weeks was because of her mental health. I know she was trying to show empathy for DS, and let me know he wasn't the only one struggling to go into school, but I really didn't need to know. She was a great teacher when she was there, that is all in needed to know.

However, it is useful to know if a colleague suffers with depression/nut allergy/is vegan/experiences domestic violence/has BPD.

I think it's good not talk to children about mental/physical health, but you don't need to share your own medical details.

@Cordelia91

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but does that diagnosis feel like a a good fit for you? The fact that you call it BPD makes it sound like a long standing diagnosis.

I only ask out of curiosity really. I have worked with so many BPD and now EUPD people in my career and I can tell you that not one of them would have been capable of teaching, or of writing your post. Services available for people with an EUPD diagnosis are woeful so I would say most people I’ve worked with haven’t had the support and therapy that would really benefit them, and that may be very different for you.

To answer your question - yes at face value it would worry me as I would be influenced by my professional experience working with people who have EUPD. However, if you presented as you do in your post then I would feel differently.

Having said that, I also think this could have unintended negative consequences for you. Letting parents and students know could shift the power in your relationships with them. They have a piece of information about you that they could use to their advantage. So, for instance, if you treat a child ‘unfairly’ in the eyes of a parent. At the moment, you’re unreasonable. If they know you have EUPD this will absolutely inform the way they talk to you, the way they think about the incident, the language they use when they make a complaint… suddenly you’re irrational, unhinged, out of control… obviously you’re none of those things, but I can absolutely see it playing out that way. I just wouldn’t want the headache of that, in your position.

From your post you sound strong, aware and in control of your condition. But I'll answer this entirely fictitiously: impulsive and attention-seeking can be characteristic of BPD, if I was told that my child's teacher had BPD then I would be concerned they were being impulsive or seeking attention in disclosing this (only because we, quite rightly, rarely hear about personal medical conditions of school staff, for their privacy).

I think it would be the need to disclose which would make me have doubts.

If you have any kind of disorder that information is private and nobody needs to know, whether it be physical or a MH disorder. But the point at which you disclosed it to students I would be wondering why you felt the need to essentially be defined by it, and that would make me question your ability to effectively teach my child.

I meant to add - if my question is too intrusive please just ignore me.

I don't think that's a teacher's health has anything to do with the pupils. In fact I think telling them shows a lack of boundaries. If the children dislike you for any reason this would be used against you, creating additional stress for you which I don't think would be good for you.

I don’t think it’s something that should be disclosed or discussed with children, tbh.