Couldn’t get my son to school today

[Tiredofitall21]

Hi, I don’t know what to do. I have autism, Adhd and a provisional diagnosis of bipolar.
My anxiety is so bad at the moment that I couldn’t take me DS to school today. Every time I leave the house I feel paranoid like everyone is suspicious and they’re following me or could attack me etc, it’s horrible.
Where I live my neighbours are in their front gardens from morning till night being ridiculously noisy and just watch me every time I leave the house or return. Today it’s just too much, but I can’t just not leave the house and not take my DS to school.
It started getting bad last week so I rang the mental health team and asked if they could help as I was feeling very anxious who said someone would call me back but they didn’t. I’m on standard care so no care coordinator (I was in a good mood when I was assessed a few week ago) I just need them to understand how bad it is, but due to the autism I struggle to express how I’m feeling so everyone thinks It’s not so bad.

I don’t know what to do, my medication isn’t working, I think because the dose is too low, and I need some kind of anxiety medication.
I’ve felt so down these last couple of weeks, it just feels like I can’t function and that it’s game over, like check mate, I have no way out of my situation or how I’m feeling. Tbh I just don’t want to be here anymore but that’s not an option either because of my kids, so yeah, check mate, completely trapped. All I have done these last few days is cry and feel on edge, I’m not sleeping, just constant anxiety.
I don’t know what to do.

The level of anxiety and panic when I try to leave the house I can’t even describe, it feels like I’m going to die.

You need to contact your mental health team.

How old is your son?

fitforforty I tried to contact them last week but nothing came of it. I’m scared of ringing them again because I feel like I’m bothering them.
My son is 10 but has asd so is unable to get himself to school.

You are not bothering them.

Go call them right now before it gets to be too late in the day.

I’ve mentioned this trick before, but because of my ASD I use it often. Read them your second paragraph. It will get your message across very clearly.

Your son needs to go to school. Do you live near it? Contact the school they will be able to help get your son in at least

I’m trying to build up the courage to ring them, anxiety around even ringing and trying to express how I’m feeling is too much. Especially after being brushed off last week. I don’t know how to word it without being brushed off.

I am sorry you are feeling this bad. Try and hold on to the thought that it WILL get better - you won't always feel like this.

Can you sit down with a warm drink? You are doing the right thing in reaching out for support.

It must seem very hard at the moment, but try and make a list of all the people that might be able to help: put the Mental Health Team at the top. Can you add the GP onto your list? What about the school - do they know things are very difficult at the moment? They may be able to help provide some support. Is there a friend or family member you could talk to today? Someone who could meet with you?

If those seem too difficult, there are online resources: you could try Mind, Autism UK and the Samaritans. Please don't give up, even though things feel very hard. Your DS loves you and needs you. You have got him through a world pandemic, its been a helluva year, but you have managed it.

Keep talking to the people here and I am sure that you will get some good advice - you are not alone. We are thinking of you.

Is there anyone you could ask to bring your son to school on days where you are struggling? Or could you explain to the school and ask if there is any way someone could come and get him from you?

UhtredRagnarson There’s no one who could take my son to school unfortunately. I could speak to school through class dojo. Don’t know if it’s possible for them to get him there without me taking him though. I should be able to do it
Which part do you mean Castlepeak
I spoke to my sis about it last night and she said she’d ring the mental health team for me today and get them to ring me but she’s not answering the phone at the moment.
I can try and ring them I just don’t know how to word things to the receptionist, I always just feel like I’m being dramatic and not worth the time etc. Ridiculous I know.

Say this

My anxiety is so bad at the moment that I couldn’t take me DS to school today. Every time I leave the house I feel paranoid like everyone is suspicious and they’re following me or could attack me etc, it’s horrible.

I’m going to ring them in ten mins once my older DS has come home from school and is settled, fingers crossed I get past the receptionist this time!

My sister is ringing them for me

Someone from the mental health team are coming seeing me tomorrow

Good news OP!! Be honest with them? Don’t hide how much you’re struggling.

Excellent news

lUhtredRagnarson
That’s something I struggle with, expressing how bad it is, but I’ll try my best! He’s coming at 12. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

It’s so important to be honest so that you can get the right support. Just take deep breaths and say it a sentence at a time. Write down what you want to say/what you’re struggling with beforehand and maybe read it to the mental health worker.

Hi OP I really felt for you reading your post. Really glad you are getting a support visit today. Hope that is helpful for you. Don't be afraid to push for the help you need. Either in today's appointment or through your GP. Good Luck.

The visit was good, he was really understanding, I didn’t stop crying from beginning to end embarrassingly, he’s going to feed back to my psych and who did my initial assessment who decided I needed no care plan and his manager on Tuesday and call me back at the need of the week.
Today is horrible though, just can’t shift the thoughts that death is the only way out of how I’m feeling. The man who came the other day gave me an out of hours number but I really can’t verbalise it so can’t ring. The thoughts are just so overwhelming and I don’t know what to do with them. I’ll just have to ignore them, they’re just thoughts I suppose.

Please ring that out of hours number. Say the words you’ve said here. Tell them the thoughts are overwhelming, you don’t know what to do, you feel that death is the only way out. Please ring them. This is what they’re there for.

I don’t know how to start the conversation on the phone. I wish you could text them first, I’ve spent the last half hour writing a letter to my best friend just in case like a psycho. I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t even tell anyone and go anywhere cos there’s nowhere for my kids to go. I just don’t know what to do. Just keep crying and flipping between extreme sadness and hopelessness cos I don’t even have options

Please ring. I cant cope ringing either and rarely ring people (likely autistic.)

How about ringing with a script? We could help you with that. They eill be very used to people who cant find the words but its important you tell the how bad it is. Even if its literally saying "I cant find words so Im going to read out soemthing I wrote earlier " and uou read your posts from here.

Start the conversation with “I need help” and then say whatever comes out of your mouth. Maybe it would help you to write it down before you ring?

Autistic here 🙋🏻‍♀️
Next time you phone you don't have to say a great deal but ask for an email address as you are unable to verbalise, or ask your sister to ask them for an email address x