Feel broken😔

[Pulledapart2015]

Just need to put my thoughts somewhere. Talking to ppl in life is not working so here I am.

Don't know where to begin even whether I should bother writing it down but though I should at least try.

Last few weeks have been hell. My beautiful mum had a heart attack and today I just found out my dad may have lung cancer, awaiting a confirmation scan 😔

I am their career outside of formal carers that come twice a day.

Between hospital appointments, kids, housework and a job I'm now feeling totally burned out. Family is useless no help & I'm a single mum of 2.

I got to keep it together but struggling massively today. How do ppl cope? What can I do self care? Feeling totally lost.

I suffer from complex ptsd so on a back foot with mental health already. I can't afford to burn out or shut down. What will happen to mum n dad & kids. I wanna let it out by crying but no tears are flowing 😔

[quote LifesAnItch]@Pulledapart2015 I'm really sorry to hear that! I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now x[/quote]
I don't think it's sunk in properly yet. Bag of mixed emotions today x

@Pulledapart2015 Hey, how you doing today? X

[quote LifesAnItch]@Pulledapart2015 Hey, how you doing today? X[/quote]
Just plodding along. Still having breathing trouble so takibgnitbslow myself.

How are you today? x

@Pulledapart2015 I hope you've managed to rest and are feeling a bit better today 🤞🏼

I'm not bad thanks. Have to get up at 5.30am for work tomorrow so heading to bed soon. It's to be another scorcher of a day so might get DS's paddling pool out in the afternoon to keep him cool and entertained for a wee while. Is the weather good where you are? X

God gimme strength. In hospital with my dad looks like he's had a mild heart attack 😔 seriously can the universe just gimme a fucking break cos I swear I'm on my last tether now! Feel like I'm gonna explode, Arghhhhhhh.

I'm so sorry you're having to experience this. This too shall pass...remember that. May God make it easy for you. Be kind to yourself.

Op just wanted to add my support. I went through something similar a few years ago, no family to help as they are too far away.

You dont say how old your dc are but if they're old enough to help with the housework give them some chores to do and have a talk, nan and grandad are poorly so you all have to pull together.
Dont worry about the state of your house, do the basics washing clothes, feed yourselves, tidy a bit etc and sod the rest, it can wait, you aren't superwoman and noone would expect you to be given the circumstances. You can only do what you can do, take a rest when you can and look after yourself, that's important. It's not selfish, you cant function without sleep. Hoping you're ok.

Thankyou both.

I crashed in bed last night & caught up on some much needed sleep. Im very lucky & fortunate my DC are young under 10 but so good. Tidy & don't complain at all. They actually have kept it more tidy then usual so mummy doesn't have to do it. Even been keeping at eye on gran when I've not been around.

No family about but lovely neighbours & friends been helping with school drop off & pick up. Luckily school is just round the corner so not too much trouble. Some of them even offered to cook but i felt bad so not taken them up on that. Honestly they have helped me cope last few days. Didn't want the kids missing their routine.

I had a good cry y'day I think I needed it cos I had been holding it all in for weeks now. Feel much better today. Long road ahead but think I will be ok just need to make sure I get my sleep xxx

Back in A&E with mum. Kids at home fast asleep at least so not gotta worry there. Feeling so burnt out right now. Will be a long night 😔