Feel broken😔

[Pulledapart2015]

Just need to put my thoughts somewhere. Talking to ppl in life is not working so here I am.

Don't know where to begin even whether I should bother writing it down but though I should at least try.

Last few weeks have been hell. My beautiful mum had a heart attack and today I just found out my dad may have lung cancer, awaiting a confirmation scan 😔

I am their career outside of formal carers that come twice a day.

Between hospital appointments, kids, housework and a job I'm now feeling totally burned out. Family is useless no help & I'm a single mum of 2.

I got to keep it together but struggling massively today. How do ppl cope? What can I do self care? Feeling totally lost.

I suffer from complex ptsd so on a back foot with mental health already. I can't afford to burn out or shut down. What will happen to mum n dad & kids. I wanna let it out by crying but no tears are flowing 😔

I don’t know what to tell you to do but I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this, it’s so shit.

Thankyou for your kind words.

I'm sorry you've got so much on your plate OP, that sounds overwhelming! It's a shit situation to be in. In terms of how you can help yourself -

Seek counselling through your GP (or privately if you can afford it). Talking really does help!

Getting enough/quality sleep is key to maintaining your mental health. I know it's easier said than done but try to wind down an hour before going to bed (breathing techniques such as box breathing are great). Even if you can't manage a long sleep, as long as it's good quality it'll make all the difference to your energy levels and thought process.

Make sure you are eating enough and staying hydrated.

I know all of these things sound like the usual stuff that's trotted out, because it is! But it really does help.

The mental load of your situation isn't an easy fix but the physical exhaustion can be.

Take care x

Thank you for the suggestions. I will definitely try them. It is just very hard to keep up with eating at the minute my appetite is gone. I'm hoping it doesn't switch over to comfort eating. I got myself in a right state last time with that and gained so much weight without realising.

I'm going to make a call to G.P tomorrow to see if I can speak to someone. I really think I need to before it's too late. Thankyou for pointing this out.

Really appreciate you taking time to respond.

It must be very hard for you.
When you say - family is useless - who are they?
Maybe just give them tasks to do and don't expect initiative?

Siblings live too far away to help out and ofcourse not willing/able to relocate. They just don't give a damn about their parents. Never have if I'm honestly reflecting back. I've given myself a day off from work today. Just need to refocus my mind. Waiting on a call from G.P so let's see. Although not sure a day off from work was a good idea, roadwork since 8am this morning 😫

You're doing the right thing @Pulledapart2015 allow yourself some breathing space. Glad you've called the doctor too.

Do keep posting here if you need/want to in the meantime. It can be really cathartic getting everything out and off your chest x

Thankyou means a lot. I actually do feel less heavy in my head by just expressing things here xxx

@Pulledapart2015

Thankyou means a lot. I actually do feel less heavy in my head by just expressing things here xxx

Hey, how are you feeling today?

Hey slightly better after speaking to my G.P who has done a urgent referral for counselling. They will be in touch by tomorrow the latest which I'm quite shocked about to be honest but feel relieved at the same time. We had good chat she advised upping my usual meds just for now to help & also referred me back to the MH services. A bit overwhelmed with how nice she was.

Thankyou for checking in on me xxx

@Pulledapart2015

Hey slightly better after speaking to my G.P who has done a urgent referral for counselling. They will be in touch by tomorrow the latest which I'm quite shocked about to be honest but feel relieved at the same time. We had good chat she advised upping my usual meds just for now to help & also referred me back to the MH services. A bit overwhelmed with how nice she was.

Thankyou for checking in on me xxx

That’s great news that you’ll get help so quickly! Hopefully it’s the start of better times xxx

Hi @Pulledapart2015

How are you doing? Hope things are moving along for you now with your referral x

@LifesAnItch

Hi *@Pulledapart2015*

How are you doing? Hope things are moving along for you now with your referral x

Hey not so good today been at hospital thanks to my asthma 😔 needed nebulizing. Dr was lovely though. Been resting as physically unable to do much. Kids happy though as they got take out Lol.

Mentally preparing myself to hear dad's results tomorrow, keeping everything crossed it's much a do about nothing🤞. Councilling Referral still pending but they called to do first assessment. Just have to wait for now.

Thankyou for checking up on me. Hope you well x

Hi @Pulledapart2015 I'm not too bad thanks ☺️

Sorry to hear you haven't been well, hope a blast of the nebuliser has made a difference! That's good that you've had your initial assessment. Hopefully it's not too long before your first appointment.

I'm keeping everything crossed for you for tomorrow 🤞🏼x

@LifesAnItch

Hi *@Pulledapart2015* I'm not too bad thanks ☺️

Sorry to hear you haven't been well, hope a blast of the nebuliser has made a difference! That's good that you've had your initial assessment. Hopefully it's not too long before your first appointment.

I'm keeping everything crossed for you for tomorrow 🤞🏼x

Hey so not so good back to A&E last night another flare up. This time kept overnight. They suspect something called rheumatoid lung disease. Gotta wait for a referral appt. Till then I just keep going to A&E if it happens.

@Pulledapart2015 that sounds hellish! You must be exhausted. Hopefully your referral can be fast tracked and you'll be seen sooner rather than later 🤞🏼

How did your Dad get on? X

[quote LifesAnItch]@Pulledapart2015 that sounds hellish! You must be exhausted. Hopefully your referral can be fast tracked and you'll be seen sooner rather than later 🤞🏼

How did your Dad get on? X[/quote]
Thanks me too hate waiting but avoiding googling as I know I'll end up just working myself up. No news yet they still working on the report. They said to give them till end of the week so waiting. Might a blessing in disguise as I currently feel have no to deal with any type of news.

How you doing? x

@Pulledapart2015 definitely best to avoid Google, it'll only freak you out!

Hopefully you can use the next few days to rest and build your strength. I know for me, things always feel their worst at night. The cold light of day always makes me feel that little bit more positive.

I'm good thanks. Tired but otherwise well so can't complain. It's my son's first birth next week so busy getting things organised. We're just having family round for a BBQ (weather permitting 🤞🏼) x

Handhold here to OP, it sounds totally draining no wonder you feel exhausted. I have a friend going through a similar situation at the moment she is on her knees quite honestly, really upsetting to see the impact on her health & wellbeing. Look after yourself too OP.

[quote LifesAnItch]@Pulledapart2015 definitely best to avoid Google, it'll only freak you out!

Hopefully you can use the next few days to rest and build your strength. I know for me, things always feel their worst at night. The cold light of day always makes me feel that little bit more positive.

I'm good thanks. Tired but otherwise well so can't complain. It's my son's first birth next week so busy getting things organised. We're just having family round for a BBQ (weather permitting 🤞🏼) x[/quote]
Oh sounds fabulous. Happy 1st birthday to your son 🥰 im sure weather should hopefully will be on your side. My DD's is coming up in a couple of weeks. She wants to do a themed b'day so I'm waiting for her to decide 🙈 I want to try making it extra special this year for her if I can. Think we need some smiles in all the doom & gloom at the min x

@Roselilly36

Handhold here to OP, it sounds totally draining no wonder you feel exhausted. I have a friend going through a similar situation at the moment she is on her knees quite honestly, really upsetting to see the impact on her health & wellbeing. Look after yourself too OP.

Thankyou so much & sorry to hear about your friend. It's so hard but trying to cope best we can. Unfortunately sometimes we don't even realise the toll it takes x

Well thats my worst fear come true. It is lung cancer 😪😪😪😪😪😪

So sorry to see your update OP, sending you a big hug.

@Roselilly36

So sorry to see your update OP, sending you a big hug.

Thank you x

Just been reading up on the surgery he needs and it's not very pleasant reading 😔

@Pulledapart2015 I'm really sorry to hear that! I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now x