Nearly 50 and diagnosed with ADHD - now what?

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

Does anyone have experiences they can share about taking stimulant medication?

Psychiatrist suggested exercise, mindfulness and to consider medication.

I'm quite interested in the idea of taking something which might help me finish a task. Is that actually how it works? I am visualising a magic pill that will help me concentrate and live a life that is organised.

There are various books, some I got on with, others not, as my attention span is scant just now. I'm trying to remember titles but nope, brain is not working today.

Not sure if anyone has flagged this up yet but menopause and ADHD are problematic, as the flagging hormone situation makes things worse.

"How to ADHD" is good on You Tube.

Liverpudlians have an excellent support group, Ladders of Life. There are some others dotted about the country. Some places have more support than others, it's a real lottery.

Thanks for the links and suggestions. It's been a steep learning curve with a lot of "oh, that explains..."

I have realised that I have made a lot of impulsive decisions, in fact, that is my norm. I didn't realise that people take a while to make decisions!

Psych has offered me Guanfacine which isn't a stimulant. I've had BP problems and it's under control with a small amount of medication but probably a stimulant isn't a great idea. This one is a BP drug, makes you sleepy and you shouldn't drink alcohol or eat fatty food with it. So, I guess that'll help me stick to healthy diet.

I've bought into the idea that I've got ADHD, but I'm still a bit sceptical that I actually DO have it. My self talk is "it's not that bad, I'm not disabled, I manage really well, have brought up 3 kids, achieved highly in my career etc etc etc."

I think I'll try the medication and see if that makes a difference to the things I do find tricky, like knowing what day it is, being able to manage time, managing to prioritise work tasks so I'm not up all night to meet a deadline or rocking up to a big meeting totally underprepared (like I did today, and I always manage it because I think I can concentrate with a bit of adrenaline) . If that stuff changes with the meds maybe I'll accept that I'm not as neurotypical as I thought I was.

Is the Kubler-Ross stuff just for grief, or also for acceptance? I'm firmly in denial.

Waffle - that makes sense. I'm starting HRT too. My memory and ability to not feel overwhelmed is defiantly changed over the last few years.

On Elvanse and has been life changing. Has helped with binge eating, executive function, motivation, consistency in exercise you name it. But there are good days and bad days snd peri menopause hormones do negate the effect. But I wouldn't go back now to how it was

I’m 34, on Methylphenidate Instant Release, 20mg, 3x a day. The extended release was wearing off after 4 hours, even at the highest dose. (Also tried Elvanse but that interacted with some other meds that I’m on.)

Whatever needs doing - take your meds and start doing it IMMEDIATELY. Do not sit scrolling on your phone/laptop/watching TV as you’ll just become focused on that rather than the task at hand. Very useful tip I was given.

No exercise high here either.

Meditation can fuck off, even on meds my brain isn’t fucking quiet enough for that.

My house is currently a shit pit because it’s exam month and so I’m barely moving from my desk.

My grades have gone from a Mid 2:1 average to a Mid 1:1 average (STEM), I’m able to sit and still focus.

My emotional regulation has dramatically improved. I’m no longer frustrated with myself when I don’t understand something immediately etc.

I have combined type which was a surprise, however I do tick almost all the Hyperactivity boxes for women.

My house is tidier overall, but I still hate cleaning and will still do anything to avoid it. Including making bastard LEGO kits.

Bloody hell - the MEDITATION, Moesbar I have tried, I honestly have. Mindfulness apps, online courses, classes, all that happens is I sit there watching people fall asleep and feel anxious.

Think nothing? NOTHING? WHICH nothing?

Man, if I start trying to think about my thoughts I get totally overwhelmed, it's far better not to think at all.

Nicei - binge eating etc, check.

I'm going for the same impact, but, I'm still pretending that this is all silly and not a problem, just me making a big fuss about nothing. As. Per. Usual.

hoping.

not going.

oops

Moes I work in health, but proper, science based health, not woo.

I do a bit of visiting universities to teach undergrads and clinically supervise MSc students all over the place. I should have a PhD, but I can't get my head around statistics and the different reference systems, so I kept dodging it. I don't have a PhD because of stuff I could outsource or get a computer programme to do - that's a bit mad. I did other stuff which isn't academic instead, which I made up out of my head and they all worked and earned me a fancy professional award for, basically, innovation. I'm that person who says "why don't we..." and other people blink for a while and then say "that's actually a really good idea".

I do ok professionally, despite the lack of PhD. I wrote a lot of emails about my own thing so I landed up popping in and out to Westminster to tell MPs and Peers what I thought they should think about. Some of that landed up in government planning. I don't understand why other people don't have these same ideas as they are perfectly obvious to me.

I am beginning to think this is not entirely normal. I have many more ideas but they are all stuck between 10- 80% done.

I know how to fix a significant societal issue and if I could just FOCUS I could turn the puffs of fog of ideas that I know would work, into a plan that budget holders would take on board.

I'll take drugs to see if I can trial those ideas. Cos, I think I am right but I can't SHOW that I am right because it requires working out which of the hundreds of ideas banging around in my head are the priority.

I'm three glasses of wine and three packets of crisps and three ice creams down tonight. So I am thinking about that too - it's been a busy week at work and mindlessly eating has let me percolate what has happened and what needs to come next. I can do that if I'm walking or driving too, not when I sit at my desk. Can't make the proper links during working hours.

I'd take drugs to see what I can do if I could organise my thoughts. Cos, and I know this sounds like hubris, if I can prioritise then I can sort some serious shit out.

I'm stuck at the moment, like I've lost the three bits of the jigsaw that I need to finish it. It's ALMOST there. I'll take drugs to see if I can find the missing bits of the jigsaw.

I accept that my focus on this niche part of my niche field may also be a symptom...

Or you could just be a fucking genius that also happens to have ADHD

I feel like I am finally working at 80% of my academic potential. I could work at 100%, but that would involve not being a parent any more and being as they are 12/10/5, that ship may have sailed

I’m in Microbiology, and am hoping to do a Masters in Public Health followed by an Epidemiology PhD, but the funding for a Masters is shite and I’ll probably have to do it over 2 years whilst working in some form of magical job that allows me study leave. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.

Didn’t do it when younger as I burnt out during my A Levels, had a total breakdown at 19 and spent 10 years recovering from PTSD (which still bothers me from time to time), raising DC and having crippling self esteem issues.

I feel quite angry that ADHD wasn’t picked up sooner and sometime I feel like my academic focus should be on WHY girls and women are so badly let down.

Oh gawd, meditation. I mentioned my DD has just been diagnosed - I'm also in the process but pretty sure I do have adhd. executive dysfunction explains my entire life.

Anyway, meditation. I once tried alone, and my brain decided that was boring and instead visualising being in the desert, sand dunes etc, and happening upon a market stall where a cat was offering hand massages. Then a shark jumped out of the sand and tried to eat me. Great, thanks.

Then I tried a guided one, down steps into a lush green garden. beautiful, this is working I think. I feel quiet and calm and blissful. Loving it. I'm guided to walk on the grass, feeling it between my toes. I notice a river, walk over to it and sit on the bank. Enjoying trees and flowers and the gentle sound of the river. Look over and there's a random bloke having a piss in my river.

If there are no distractions, my brain will just make them up. Gahh.

Interesting thread thank you for starting it @vivariumvivariumsvivaria - I've been thinking about this for a long time, I'm nearly 60 but I thought I simply had an inability to cope with life day to day, maybe brought on by trauma - had loads of fairly senior jobs and messed up in all of them, speaking over people in meetings but always think I won't do that again, then I do. Lost the ability to cope with demands like housework and planning ... but I read phrase recently if someone has a hammer they will see nails and it worries me if you go to a specialist in ADHD and say I might have ADHD are they simply going to agree with you? Do you have to have had the symptoms as a child to be diagnosed as an adult/in later life?

(that should be a confused emoticon, not a sceptical one)(see? I even offend people with my emoticon use!)

I was diagnosed in my early 40s and taking prescribed stimulants changed my life. Pre diagnosis I had a successful career, two great kids but everything was so, so hard all the time. Medication has made everything easier, and reduced what I'd describe as 'interference' in my head - this was the jumble of competing thoughts, deadlines, priorities and negative self talk. Exercise also helps, but I really wouldn't be without the stimulant meds. I haven't noticed diet helping me to be honest.

I did go through a period of grieving for the life I think I might have had if I'd been diagnosed as a child, but it is what it is. My life now is infinitely better than before, so better late than never, I guess.

Medication isn't a magic bullet that 'fixes' your executive function, you'll still have to write lists, have calendars, push yourself, but you will get a whole lot more done. It helps me with that feeling of 'not being able to make yourself do the thing'.

I've been listening to this podcast recently, it describes the struggle perfectly and gives some good strategies for dealing with the day to day struggles. Good luck on your journey, PM me if you want to chat.

@DishingOutDone

Interesting thread thank you for starting it *@vivariumvivariumsvivaria* - I've been thinking about this for a long time, I'm nearly 60 but I thought I simply had an inability to cope with life day to day, maybe brought on by trauma - had loads of fairly senior jobs and messed up in all of them, speaking over people in meetings but always think I won't do that again, then I do. Lost the ability to cope with demands like housework and planning ... but I read phrase recently if someone has a hammer they will see nails and it worries me if you go to a specialist in ADHD and say I might have ADHD are they simply going to agree with you? Do you have to have had the symptoms as a child to be diagnosed as an adult/in later life?

When I started to think about my childhood I saw that I had lots of symptoms then but these were put down to my being "too bright for the school", (cheeking the teachers, refusing to attend assembly, homework all last minute) in fact I got expelled but i had written that out of my biography somehow.) Smoked, drank, had sex early. All with parents' support (liberal pillocks). School reports a litany of "must try harder to achieve what she deserves", "should apply herself more as is clearly able in the subject", "failing to reach her undoubted potential". School bag a mess. Never had money when I should have brought some for dinner/bus fare, wrong PE kit...

You may be surprised at what you remember, that are symptoms. Good luck.

Following this thread with interest. Having done more and more reading around the subject over the past few weeks, everything I read really describes me. My lack of focus and procrastination is getting worse and unfortunately my work and home life have lots going on at the minute so I've become completely overwhelmed with everything. And the state of my house is really shocking.

I'm interested to know if any of you have problems with alcohol? I've had problems with alcohol for years (on and off) and have been trying to address it for the past year or so. In my reading, I've found out that lots of people with ADHD have problems with alcohol or drugs and I guess it would explain a bit more about what's been going on with me. Anyone else?

Psych has offered me Lisdexamfetamine, a stimulant or Guanfacine which is not.

I do take an anti-hypertensive, my BP is up because of stress and the one tablet I take keeps it in normal range. Psych don'ts seem to think that means I can't take a stimulant, just that we need to keep an eye on my BP. I think I'm happy to do that.

The good thing about the stimulant is it's used to treat binge eating disorder, which is defitinly something I recognise. They don't know why the non-stimulants work for ADHD.

I guess I'm thinking that I may as well take the ordinary medication as they understand it better, and see what it does to my BP and concentration. If it interferes with my BP then I can try the other one.

Am reading a book a friend recommended - ADHD 2.o, by Hallowell. It's a bit confronting to see a list of symptoms which I thought were just either failings or quirks of my personality.

I'm mostly hopeful - if I can organise myself I could do well with work. I really hope the medication will help. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't!

I'm fascinated. I'm thinking I could do this do, consult a private psychiatrist and then try medication if necessary (I have high BP too). You have to let us know how you get on @vivariumvivariumsvivaria - when do you start the meds? Do you feel excited to see what happens or apprehensive?

BTW did you say you used Psych UK is that the full name? Its coming up with Psychiatry UK?

And also just to throw in to the mix I had hypnotherapy this morning and found it very helpful, I'm impressed.

Yes, Dishing, sorry for the lazy short hand, that's the one. I saw Dr Dorothea Bindman, she was lovely and very efficient!

I'm apprehensive about it. Partly because, what if it doesn't work? And mostly because, what if it does? What if I'm actually neuro-diverse? Would life have been better if I knew?

I'm still a little sceptical. I know I meet the criteria, but, I'm deep in denial - and ignoring that fact that I spent all day cleaning one room and haven't quite managed to finish it, so, actually, I spent all day making a mess. I did make three lovely birthday cards and put a parcel together for a friend. None of these were priorities for today. I didn't get my important work email done, but I am really pleased with the cards...

I've just laugh-cried my way through your posts and this thread @vivariumvivariumsvivaria - diagnosed earlier this month, awaiting official notes, letter and titration, and having exactly the same imposter-ish feelings. I'm 35, I've got this far, got a degree, etc etc.

And whoever said about wiping the kitchen surfaces being like Everest - are you me?!

I've done very little of what I meant to today but I'm glad I found this thread while not doing it

Imposter syndrome is extremely common in women with ADHD.

I tried Lisdexamphetamine but it was not a good combination with my other medications for my CPTSD. I take Methylphenidate instant release, 20mg, three times a day. I maxed out on the extended release and it was wearing off after 6 hours, so the IR was deemed a better way of medicating me.

The good news is that there is no weaning off of these meds, as they burn through our systems fast, so you can take Methylphenidate one day, and try Lisdex the next.

I was out with a friend the other day on the park, and she said “Have you got your Meth with you?”, I laughed so hard

Is it really, Moes? I was asked recently by a national organisation about why I hadn't done a professional task which is an obvious omission on my CV. "Oh, imposter syndrome, it's a terrible thing" He paused and said "YOU get imposter syndrome?" which confused me. I mean, my CV looks shit hot, but we all know that I'm not really an expert, I'm lucky/was in the right place at the right time/had a couple of enthusiastic supporters/SOMEONE needs to get nominated every year and I did that thing that got a lot of attention, so they gave it to me because of the press coverage not because it was actually worthy.

I told my husband about the diagnosis, I hadn't told him I was going for a diagnosis, I just booked it after reading a thread on here. He's (undiagnosed) autistic* and hasn't mentioned it since, which was to be expected and is fine.

I told two friends, both of whom said "no you're not, don't be ridculous" So, I gave some examples of my impulsivity (like buying a flat without viewing it; resigning half way through a boring meeting because I'd rather be on a beach for a bit, so that night I applied for a job in Australia - got it and remember thinking very clearly as I was landing in Sydney "what the fuck am I doing here?"; getting engaged after a third date, etc) and some stuff about how many odd but effective ideas I have generated and they went "oh, yeah, maybe"

Maybe.

I have to have an ECG before getting the Meth. Seems sensible.

I am surrounded by yesterday's mess, but have moved onto today's work tasks, and I haven't had a shower yet and I have a walking meeting in 45 minutes. This means the mess will lie here until I have to clean the room again and I will feel guilty and frustrated by it. I am a terrible housewife, I just move mess around from one pile to the next.

I tried having a cleaner for a bit, but it was really stressful because I had to tidy before she cleaned. It was IMPOSSIBLE. So we live in almost-clean-chaos. It is one thing I'd really like to change, we have a really nice home and it'd be good if I wasn't ashamed when people come round. Well, I stuff things into cupboards or my bedroom before people come and then I can't find the things any more.

The more I think about this the more I think the lovely psychiatrist is right. I'm entirely typical of ADHD in females. I'm not sure what I think about it yet, but, I am keen to see if some Meth means I can tidy up a bloody living room.

(*opposites attract. And are bemused by each other)

How are you finding the Meds. Im on my second ones. First ones gave me a few stomach side effects, Xaggatin.

The new ones on for a week are great, couple of side effects, tinnitus and the slightly annoying but fun, massive hornyiness. Just cant stop thinking about sex all the time. Its fun but controllable and with the med's focus it means i can work too.