I wrote this the other day trying to get my thoughts out of my head:
It feels like a bereavement, I’ve had about as much as I can take. I hit rock bottom and I don’t know how to pull myself back up. The stress of the move and that night on top of the last year have taken it out of me, I feel physically and mentally done. I’m happy to have moved and I love the house but there’s so much to do and I’m so tired and the weight of responsibility feels very heavy. I’m scared something will go wrong, I can’t relax and enjoy it. And the same problems have followed me here - I’m still sad and lonely just in a different environment. I’m happy work is going well but it’s stressful and time consuming. I just need a break, the last 4 years have been so hard, the past year and especially the last couple of months have been a real struggle. How do I heal myself?
Not all of that will make sense but it gives an idea of how low I feel. I've had a bad breakup, divorce and house move on top of covid and the stress of it all feels like it's broken me. I ache all over, I can't relax and I cry far too often. I'm struggling to stay professional at work and strong for my daughter, I'm just so tired of putting on a brave face. I've got nobody I can talk to and I just feel so alone and scared.