AIBU how I can stop feeling sad and feel hopeful again.

[sadsadsadder]

I just can’t get rid of an overwhelming sense of sadness. Without going into too much detail the last couple of years have not been kind to us. We had a small business for the last 10 years, not hugely lucrative but one that gave us happiness and a reasonable, not extravagant living.
This has all been destroyed by Covid-19 and I now feel that I am having to start our lives over again, it’s been very financially damaging really wanted to retrain for a new career but there were no places on the course. I am now working in a minimum wage job (it was all I could get at the moment with Covid) and I feel like life is slowly crushing me. I have a decent, kind husband and children, I should feel grateful for that.

I can’t look at photos of happier times without crying. I look at photos of my children when they were two or three and we were happy and all I feel is an overwhelming sense of sadness. I look back on happier times and just think how stupid I was not to realise how things would turn out.

Sometimes I think about suicide. I don’t think I would ever do it but I think about it regularly, not in a dramatic way but in a calm, measured way of how it could be done. We don’t have much in the way of family and I could never do it to my children but still, the thought is there.

I look at my life and I just see no brightness, either now or in the future. I just can’t pull myself out of this sadness.

I just want to hear from other people who have ever felt like this. Did you manage to pull yourself out of it? How? I just feel that I’ve lost all hope that things will improve.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I do think you're in good company; the pandemic has been so brutal in so many ways for so many people. You aren't alone and it isn't your fault.

And it will change. The vaccine rollout is going well and things will recover. This is not forever.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. No matter how bad things feel, your kids would much rather have you than not. I'm sure you know that x

This last year has been tough on all of us. Covid, lockdown, etc etc.

But I think there is some light at the end of the tunnel. The weather is getting brighter, days are getting longer and we will be able to return to at least some form of 'normality'.

Things may feel low, but try to find a positive in each day. There are some wonderful podcasts that it may help to listen to. There are many people and services out there that you can talk to. But please, don't lose hope. It will get better xx

Haven't experienced this OP but didnt want to read and run.

You aren't alone - covid has been devastating for millions. Things will get better.

You sound depressed. Please speak to your GP. A key thing they consider in assessing whether you are depressed is whether you think this feeling will improve in time. If you don’t feel that way, it’s concerning. Some anti-depressants could really turn your life around. Good luck.

I read somewhere that we grieve many losses in our lives,dcs leaving home,menopause when we cannot have another baby,job losses etc .If you think of it like that and take care of yourself then soon new chapters will be upon you. Brighter days for all of us after a tough year.

Please see your gp and have faith that things will change. Your situation is only temporary. Your kids need you and are most likely happy and content within the family unit.

Keep hugging them, get out for a bit daily and just keep going.
What do you want to retrain as? Are there any courses you could do on coursera? They’re free.

Things were bleak for us for a while when dh was made redundant and struggled to find work again. We just kept going by focussing on the kids and just trying to make practical plans to improve our chances for a better future.
You will get there.

Hi,
I'm so sorry for your problems and how you feel. I know your problems are real but I just wanted to say my little boy is 3 and his favourite things are playing with sand (a tub in the garden) water (a little washing up bowl) and running in the park. When you are looking at how happy your children were at 2 or 3 I can't believe barely any of their happiness was related to money/what you had. Although money helps it certainly isn't everything to kids and I'm sure there are loads of things your kids would like to do with you that cost nothing or little. Please try to take pleasure in the small things (I think there is a rather cheesy saying or advert that says they are actually the big things) and where kids are concerned that might be true.

I love that you are working to support your family despite not being in your industry of choice. There is no shame in an honest days work!

I have bouts of depression, sometimes as a reaction to life events. What you describe sounds very similar to how I can feel. It is worth speaking to your gp.

Just wanted to say recently I have felt as you do, so desperately unhappy and going through the motions. Never enjoying life and looking back to happier times. Mine has been for a different reason, divorce, but I imagine any life changing events can make us feel unstable like your business etc.
You can and will get through this. Exercise. Hold your kids close. Cut done the caffeine and the alcohol.Try and get outside. See the min wage job as a bit of a break from running a hectic business. Make some plans for the future. How can you get onto this course can you get student finance. Is there a way?
Running and walking make me feel better and that life is seasons, this season will not last forever.
Speak to your gp. I reached out to mine and they were immensely helpful. I didn't start on anti depressants but just talking to them knowing helpl was there if I couldn't drag myself through this was reassuring.
Live day by day. Hour by hour if you have to.yoh will feel better. Better times will come for you, and me and all that feel like we do. You are not alone.

When you've got 15 minutes to spare watch

You've had a rough couple of years but some resilience will see you through.

Hello OP, we are so sorry to hear you are feeling this way and that life has been so cruel this last year or so.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly where we think there will be lots more Mumsnetters who've been here to offer support.