Hospital

[disconnecteddrifter]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and having suicidal thoughts due to stresses at home on top of depression. I'm having counselling but high conflict at home. I am pretty sure I wont do anything but keep thinking about it and really need a break. Can I go to hospital?

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I'm afraid that mental health wards are often extremely distressing environments because only the very poorliest people are admitted, and it's not a very therapeutic environment. Have you told your gp that you are having suicidal thoughts? They will be able to help you get more support

I dont have a gp at the moment because they are switching surgeries. I'm not too desperate unless in conflict or just after and have still be going to work just in bed for all of the other times. I dont see any hope of this ever getting better although I am having counselling and did today. It's just scary that I'm thinking of how I can do it properly or make it look like an accident etc and I'm ok now but just after a conflict I feel desperate

Hospital unfortunately is not for a break or respite. Even when I've attempted on my life, I haven't been admitted. They are scary places, often people suffering from psychosis etc are there and it really is the last resort and only short term. Could you stay with another family member for a bit if things are hard at home?

If I had nobody who could help me then, yes, I'd go to hospital. They will help you to source the help you need.
Do you have a friend who would let you stay a couple of nights? (it's allowed in an emergency despite Covid)
Do you live with a partner or are you with parents?

Do you have any MH conditions? Feeling suicidal after conflicts is something I have and I have BPD.

Thank you I was thinking a break to be honest not really thought it through. I'm sorry you had that experience and hope you are ok now.
No family and isolated myself from friends for months. Will try and get through this weekend and then get a midwife on monday.

Phone maternity assessment at your local hospital

Live with my partner but feel our relationship is the cause of me feeling like this. I have been diagnosed with depression when I had my first child 13 years ago and had psychiatrist etc. But copes since but my parents are dead now and I have two children. I feel terrible to be even having these thoughts particularly as I'm pregnant. Is bpd bipolar? I asked about that years ago and they said no.

Can I phone maternity assessment even if I dont have a midwife?

OP if you are thinking about ways to kill yourself then you really do need to tell someone - does your counsellor you are having those thoughts? Are you not registered at a gp surgery at all? I'd really encourage you to sign up somewhere and speak to a gp.

I didnt tell the counsellor. She knows I am depressed though. I had been to my gp before but it wasnt much help as counselling was only in work time but it did spur me to get private counselling. I think there is a new surgery but I dont know if I am registered. I will find out on monday as need to not be thinking these thoughts. I only am not going to do it because of my children but when I feel desperate I cant stop the thoughts. I dont think my partner believes me and says hes resents me as I'm not supportive enough of him

Hm, he doesn't sound very supportive! I'm sorry he's no help. If you feel conformable with your counsellor I would tell them about the thoughts you're having, they would want to know how you are really feeling so they can help you make sense of it and help you get the right support. If you're spending money on therapy there's no point not being honest I reckon. Get your moneys worth 😊

I'm worried they will refer me that's what they say at the beginning of every session. No hes not emotionally supportive at all and if I say anything he takes it as critisicm. However I cant get away for some reason, practical and emotionally. I will find a gp on monday and look for a hotel now. Thank you

if you’re worried you can’t keep yourself safe you can go to A&E at any time and see the resident Psych team. i’d recommend you do this especially as you don’t have a GP.

i’ve had 2 inpatient stays on a psychiatric ward and it’s not pleasant. noisy, frightening and pretty much just warehousing people. there are other options. please get help, if you can’t stop suicidal thoughts this is an emergency situation.

You'll not get a hotel now.

@disconnecteddrifter

Can I phone maternity assessment even if I dont have a midwife?

Yes they are like the a&e for pregnancy. Phone them and have a chat about how you are feeling

BPD is borderline personality disorder also more commonly referred to as emotionally unstable personality disorder..there are some good websites with info about it. A big thing is emotional dysregulation. So for me, if something goes wrong it feels worse than it may to others and I feel suicidal. Also mood swings, feelings of emptyness, fear of abandonment etc. Unfortunately it is highly stigmatised so I'm fighting against having this as my diagnosis.

Why are you worried about being referred by your counsellor? Do you mean they will refer you to mental health services? It's not something to be worried about, it just means that you'll be able to talk to someone about what other support is available.

Also sounds like it could be intrusive thoughts if you wouldn't act on them and it's a thought.

I would only go to hospital if you are a danger to yourself. They aren't nice places and you certainly won't get a break. I came out more traumatised than when I went in. I barely slept for the whole 10 days as there were people screaming with night terrors and sobbing all night and the lights were never switched right off, only dimmed slightly. There wasn't much offered in the way of therapy, just medication.

Why are they suggesting referring you? Are you paying privately or is your counselling through NHS? If private, I would suggest finding a counsellor who offers crisis support. Mine does and has never baulked at talk of suicide or the occasional phone call in tears between sessions. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to your counsellor, if you are then they aren't the one for you.

Thank you. Maternity assessment is for over 18 weeks here and I'm 12 weeks. Hospital sounds awful and I cant get a hotel. I'll look up borderline personality and just get through this weekend. I can distract myself on my phone I think. Then I'll get registered with a gp. I suppose I worried that they might take my kids away if counsellor referred me but I dont care now. It would be worse for them if I was dead.

If you are feeling like harming yourself go to a&e there's specialist mental health teams at all major units. It's worth calling 111 who can arrange with you where to go rather than just turning up. Dd did this and they were amazing

They won't take your kids away if you are seeking support. They only told S.S for me when I attempted on my life as my son was in the house, but it was just reported and not taken further as my son was safe due to my OH being there.

Your children won't be taken away from you.
There is a mental health team ( in England at least) called the perinatal mental health team that your midwife or the antenatal team will be able to access.
If you feel that you are a danger to yourself or cannot care for those around you , there will be an emergency mental health team available. Often known as a crisis team they can be accessed via A&E so it would be quite appropriate for you to call there.
Samaritans are available as an ear to listen if things look bleak.
If it isn't an emergency as such, yes, GP or MW team.

Is there a particular reason that you want to get out of the house OP? Is there someone you're scared of?