I am 99.9% sure I have adhd. I have my assessment in June. I hate my life. I have no friends, no job. The only person I see is my mum. My brother and I don't really have a relationship. Only speaks to me when he wants something. My niece only wants me when she wants to go somewhere (brother and his ex don't drive, I end up taking niece to my brothers or back to her mums). My mum is the only person to text me or ring me or that I do anything with. I want a baby but its never going to happen. I'm.single, that won't change as I'm asexual and zero interest in men or women. I want to have a baby with a donor but have no money. I'm on universal credit surviving on £760. No savings at all. My anxiety and adhd make it difficult to keep a job. I haven't worked for 13 months. I have no life. I live alone and my life consists of getting up, watching TV, going to post office or morrisons if I need to or go to my mums but then come home and watch TV all evening. I like to cross stitch which I do when watching TV.
If I were to go missing the only person to notice would be my mum. It would.take until Friday for my brother and niece to notice because that's when I take niece to her dads. No buses btw and I live opposite niece so thats why I take her.
The day my mum dies is the day I will end my life as I would have absolutely nothing to live for. She's 60 so I've got another 15 years at leat of this mundane boring life. I am fat. I don't do any exercise at all not even walking as I have severe chronic sciatica and just standing is painful. I want out of this fucking life. I hate it and I hate me. I talk to my mum about how I feel but she doesn't listen and thinks I'm blaming her. I just want out