My life is pointless. Just a daily struggle for nothing.

[LudoBear]

I am 99.9% sure I have adhd. I have my assessment in June. I hate my life. I have no friends, no job. The only person I see is my mum. My brother and I don't really have a relationship. Only speaks to me when he wants something. My niece only wants me when she wants to go somewhere (brother and his ex don't drive, I end up taking niece to my brothers or back to her mums). My mum is the only person to text me or ring me or that I do anything with. I want a baby but its never going to happen. I'm.single, that won't change as I'm asexual and zero interest in men or women. I want to have a baby with a donor but have no money. I'm on universal credit surviving on £760. No savings at all. My anxiety and adhd make it difficult to keep a job. I haven't worked for 13 months. I have no life. I live alone and my life consists of getting up, watching TV, going to post office or morrisons if I need to or go to my mums but then come home and watch TV all evening. I like to cross stitch which I do when watching TV.

If I were to go missing the only person to notice would be my mum. It would.take until Friday for my brother and niece to notice because that's when I take niece to her dads. No buses btw and I live opposite niece so thats why I take her.

The day my mum dies is the day I will end my life as I would have absolutely nothing to live for. She's 60 so I've got another 15 years at leat of this mundane boring life. I am fat. I don't do any exercise at all not even walking as I have severe chronic sciatica and just standing is painful. I want out of this fucking life. I hate it and I hate me. I talk to my mum about how I feel but she doesn't listen and thinks I'm blaming her. I just want out

I have no answers because I feel very much the same OP. I’m sorry. It’s shit.

Could your GP help with medication or a diagnosis? Help forward? Sounds very hard OP

Spring is on its way.
Would you like to visit a swimming pool when they reopen from COVID measures? I did splash exercise once which was so silly I couldn’t stop laughing. You stand in the water so no strain on your joints, no actual swimming. If you are on universal credit it might be discounted.

What would you like to do if you could in terms of work ? Would you like to travel . You can work towards the things you want OP am sorry you feel like this .

Would a free Local college short course ( I think been on UC would mean you qualify for free or discounted fees ) Interest you ? I’d looked at some before in photography for when things open back up . Learn something and meet new people Just one idea

Oh ludo I’m sorry you are feeling so down about life.

Undiagnosed ADHD is beyond shit. And you’ve been dealing with that with a pandemic that has closed our lives down even more.

Please, please don’t give up - I was diagnosed late 2019 and I honestly can’t describe how much difference being medicated has made to my life. A miracle cure - sadly not, but it’s gradually given me control over my brain and my life. Hold on. 💐

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Should add am fairly certain I have undiagnosed adhd it was brought up at school but never went any further and has since been brought up when I attended therapy but have never pushed for a referral . I have struggled in most aspects of my life more than any of my peers ever seem to have I know that but I also embrace the positives of how I am too . I hope that you can find a way to feel more happy

So sorry u feel sad. I have no experience of ADHD but just wanted to say please give yourself credit for all u have achieved so far, independent living for a start.

Hopefully diagnosis and treatment should help. Maybe some further education?

If u were local, I would be happy to be your friend, although I am closer to your mum in age than you. PM me if u wish.