Ripped off of my savings

[Lolo2021]

I got made redundant during Covid when I was 7 months pregnant so that was bad timing as I couldn't find new job then. I had some savings which I was to use for renovations and to see my maternity year with baby. For ripped off by builder who ran off with 20k. I had to pay for a new guy to come in and finish so what should have costed 20k landed up being double and literally all my savings gone that I saved up for last 15 years of working gone :( I cried, I even had suicidal thoughts. All this happened while I was still nursing a 3 week old. She is now 7 weeks old and I still haven't gotten over it and honestly really stressed financially and emotionally. I'm not sure what I'm trying to get out of this post. I suppose just a platform to vent and write my feelings as I am in a dark place and scared. Seeker help and it hasn't worked yet

God thats awful. Did you take him to court?

Do you have family or friends to provide support OP? It must be a very difficult time for you.

You could file a small claim against the first builder. There are advice and sample letters online - sending Letter before Action for example. What paper trail do you have showing what work you agreed,how it was poorly done, what the second needed ti do to out right? Did you give him the opportunity to put it right ? Can you report it to police if you were scammed?

I assume you are taking the builder to court? You should get most of it back.
Did you give him £20k in advance of doing the work? You didn't stagger payments to match progress and completion?
I think you need to focus on getting a new job. Try to stop dwelling on the past, other than preparing for the court.
Does your partner work?

Hi @Lolo2021,

We're sorry to hear you're going through such a stressful time - it must be especially hard when you have such a young baby to look after.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected], or call them, free of charge, any time, on 116 123. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real-life help and support as well.

We've moved your thread over to our Mental Health topic as we feel that's a more sensitive place for you to post about your feelings.

We really hope things start looking up for you soon.

Just bumping this thread in case anyone's around to give the OP a bit more support.

I actually needed decent mental health support when similar happened to me 4 years ago.
It was so stressful and more so with a young baby

I had counselling. The anger hasn’t really fully gone but the stress it caused slowly subsided

I'm so sorry someone would do that to you, there are some right scum out there. I know having a new baby can do things to your mental health even without that happening, please don't stop trying to get help. Have you spoken to your health visitor, and/or got a GP appointment? Reach out to anyone who can help. Make sure, if it's a GP or nurse, that they understand just what a dark place you are in.
A first step you can take to help yourself, is to put your baby in a buggy and get outside every day for a walk. Especially when you really don't feel like it. I'm sending you a big hug, I wish I could give you a real one.

Thank you everyone for your support. I got very teary knowing you are listening albeit through the internet. I lost my parents and my little sister when I was 18 so I have no family support. I have my husband's sisters as family though they live in Australia and the states. Luckily my husband is working so all the salary goes for expenses. It literally is a pay check to pay check monthly living at the moment. Blessing in disguise is that he saves on commuting at the moment. I contacted lawyers and small claims and they all say I have a case but trying to get money back will be hard if the guy has no assets to his business. So I'm not sure what to do, as I will need to pay court and lawyer fees and even if I win, I would then be down the fees which then puts us in a worse position again :( I'm also scared that the guy would become vindictive given that he knows where we stay and that we have a baby. (Am I wrong to think like this?)

It’s just shit when stuff like this happens. I think the chances of getting any of your money back are zero to be honest. It’s not easy to put it behind you but that’s probably the best option.

Small claims court is free. You don't need a lawyer.

I got this information regarding the fees. www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money/court-fees
I will check again in any case as well. Hoping I can find peace in all this soon. Will also contact for help but I'm not very good at expressing thoughts through speaking. It's like I freeze up. That's what happened to me when the builder started bullying me. I knew I had rights and I knew he was taking me for a ride yet I froze.

I foolishly paid weekly payments without questioning further until it fit obvious. :( I could really kick myself. I have been told that it will be difficult getting money back even if I win so really at a dead end. I am now looking for a job. So tough as my baby is 7 weeks old only. I was really looking forward to being a full time mom for at least 6 months to a year. That dream just got taken away just like that. struggled to fall pregnant and I am a geriatric mother so not sure I will be having any more children.

How old are you OP ?

I know what you mean about freezing up, maybe you can write down all the points you need to make before you speak to them. Out even error it as a letter and hand it over. It's what I have to do before I speak to doctors etc, because otherwise I'll miss something important. I also write notes, otherwise I forget what they tell me.