Is he being unreasonable..

[jordanmarryme2021]

I'm pregnant with a planned baby. Basically since finding out I was pregnant my mental health has gone absolutely to pot. I can't get out of bed, I'm having constant panic attacks, I honestly have contemplated suicide.
I don't know what pregnancy has triggered for me but whatever it is, it's a very scary place to be.
DP has said if I don't go ahead with the pregnancy, he can't promise he will be able to forgive me or that we'll stay together.
Is this reasonable of him or is he being unfair given the state I am in? I'm in no fit state of mind to even try to judge it.

I feel very sorry for you and I hope you're ok. But, although he can't (and mustn't) force you into any kind of decision, he is allowed to express his opinion. If he feels that he, personally, wouldn't be able to forgive an abortion, and that he may decide that he doesn't want to continue the relationship if you were to take that path - then he's allowed to say that. He is allowed an opinion on the pregnancy too (so long as there's no force involved). Put it this way, he will still feel the same even if he doesn't say it. The alternative is to not tell you, and then just leave you afterwards. He's giving you a full picture of how he feels so you can make a decision with all the information in front of you. I think it's fair, difficult yes, but fair.

Your update makes him sound not just unsupportive, but downright abusive.

Op of course it may not be the same for you but I had my first panic attack when I was in early pregnancy. I had never had one and it scared me - I honestly thought I might die. They continued and it turned out that pregnancy had caused me to have an under active thyroid. Medication made me feel a bit better. I was told it might clear up after I gave birth but if never has and I still take medication years later. The meds did stop the panic attacks though. I'm not sure how I would have coped otherwise. It might be worth checking.
I hope you are okay.

He is not being unreasonable to not be comfortable with terminating the pregnancy.

He should be looking for ways to support you. One thing he could be doing is advocating for you to get better care. If you are suffering this profoundly, perhaps you should be asking for a psychiatric referral instead of just treatment by your GP.

Your son will always have a mum no matter what happens. From my own experiences and other friends who are mothers, we all experienced that same feeling of being terrified that we were sort of abandoning our first child when pregnant with our second. I never said it to anyone until my pregnant friend (with her second) said it to me. I though, ‘Oh my god- it wasn’t just me then!’ Since then, I’ve heard so many similar experiences. When I look back on it now, it’s really surreal to me. Don’t rush into anything, try to talk to somebody. And if you can’t always come back here x

I disagree with most other posters here OP. You're feeling so bad you're suicidal at times and his response is that you're being selfish if you discontinue being a vessel for his child.

The baby may be planned, but I'm sorry, life doesn't happen the way you want it to, just because you made a plan!

He doesn't think the relationship can continue if you have a termination. Ok. But here you are literally in the depths of despair and he's turned his back on you. What relationship is there to continue anyway?

This planned baby is still a foetus and it's worth more to him than you. Yes obviously he's allowed to think that and feel that, but that doesn't make it ok. You're supposed to be his life partner, not an incubator.

Ive no opinion on whether you should or shouldn't have the abortion. But I very strongly think his behaviour is utterly unacceptable. He's shown you that you can't rely on him when you're feeling horrendous and it conflicts with what he planned or wants.

I had a difficult pregnancy for a different reason and my partner behaved like you - essentially thought I was choosing it, despite medical involvement. It's 8 years later and I can still barely talk about it. I'm getting divorced and my only regret is that I didn't do it much earlier. You can't unknow how you're treated when you're extremely vulnerable.

*my partner behaved like YOURS.