Fluoxetine/antidepressants

[Cloudd]

Hi. Need your advice/positive experiences...
Couple weeks ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and generalised anxiety disorder so started fluoxetine/Prozac for first time. It’s been 3weeks now, a did a week on 10mg and then to 20mg. I’ve seen an improvement in my mood and energy, from a 0 to a 4, but will this continue to improve over the following weeks or is this the best it’s going to get? I still feel down during the evenings, when did it start to work for you/noticeable improvements? Xx

Thank you, you are right @Maidenpink, I am well aware of my behaviour and current boundaries and yes, I am making good progress.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a difficult day. It's so hard isn't it when our children are struggling. As a mother you can feel so utterly powerless at times, and parenting is a complex mix of what I should be vs what I am able to be, and impacting on that the load we carry from our own upbringings, both good and bad. I know I have a view of the Mum I want to be, which is sometimes far from the Mum I'm able to be, particularly at the moment. I think it's important that they see us vulnerable beings as otherwise we set them on a unrealistic path. Do they understand you are currently unwell?

Your heightened obsessions and depressive thoughts will diminish in their intensity, you know this, as they settled down last week. Just give it a little more time which I do understand is difficult. Your week away sounds lovely, just you or the family too?

Yes, that's some good insight re being a mum @polelynn. Thank you. ❤ I was super upset but my OH was able to hold it in perspective much better than me. Which shows how much I'm still not myself I guess. My eldest knows I've not been well, my youngest doesn't. I think the depression makes me just blame myself for everything but I can recognise that's a really unbalanced view.

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I appreciate them. It's so hard when you hit a down turn to remember that you'll come out of it again. Yeah, I'm away with the family. Right on the coast so will be doing plenty of swimming I hope. Xxx

Good morning everyone. I had to take another break as it was all too much. Little things like my car breaking down felt massive but then my DH gran passed away. I feel guilt for feeling so bad about a blooming car! I also don't like admitting this as if sounds so strange but I honestly feel like someone is controlling the bad things that happen to me or loved ones. Really bad things happen when I'm starting to feel better. Like I don't deserve happiness.

DD sleep was getting better but been worse again last couple of nights which doesn't help. Had my covid vaccine on Monday so that's a positive.

Sorry for being so doom and gloom.

@polelynn well done on getting out and about! Sounds like a challenge but that's massive you were able to go out on your own too despite some obstacles on the way.

@Maidenpink so sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment and your child is having a tough time. Yes it's good to have perspective from a partner or someone else but it's hard trying to get your own head round it.

@sugarlost hope you're doing OK.

@cravingthelook welcome. I hope the tiredness settles soon. I feel tired too but I've got a DD who is 7 months and sleep is irratic!

@FiloFaxx hugs. I totally understand why you say that you don't feel you deserve happiness as I feel like that too often but remember that's your depression talking and you absolutely do deserve everything good that comes your way. I'm sorry for your loss and things like your car are bound to unsettle you.

@Maidenpink the break will be therapeutic for you. Dig in for a few more days and I'm confident those positive feelings will return.

So today I've also come along the coast for a day out with DH and my youngest at a popular spot. At the moment I'm sitting outside quite close to strangers (for me!) and I'm actually coping pretty okay. I've had a couple of moments but managed to keep my thoughts in check. Compulsions have definitely increased though, and last night, with the build up to today but that's okay. Feeling a bit like this is a new beginning.

@filofaxx it's good to hear from you. To echo what @polelynn said, feelings of guilt and worthlessness are very typical of depression and anxiety. Try if you can to 'call them out' by noticing that you feel guilty and undeserving and remind yourself it's your depressed and anxious brain doing its thing, they are feelings not facts. Sorry for your family's loss too. As you get well again you'll have more bandwidth for life's difficulties, but right now things big to small have the potential to overwhelm you. Be gentle with yourself.

@polelynn that's AMAZING that you are at the coast today sitting relatively near people! Massive well done. One bit at a time, and you will get there. This is the tide turning for you, your hard work will pay off I'm sure. Honestly so impressed by your giant leaps this past week or so.

I've felt a little bit better today than the last few days, the nausea and extreme fatigue are better but my mood is pretty low and my thoughts reflect this. I feel the medication is now providing a buffer to the very worst of it but it's still 'there' if that makes sense. Trying to do what i suggested to @filofaxx and notice the thoughts for what they are and practise a little self compassion. It's hard. Heard some news this morning re a friend's parent being ill which was upsetting. @filofaxx I totally get what you mean about life throwing curveballs at you when you feel you're getting better. This last week has been a tough one for me. We can only do what we can and try to focus on one day at a time.

@polelynn thanks for your encouragement, it means a lot. I can dig in!

@sugarlost hope you are okay, let us know what's happening when you get a chance.

Sending love to you all. Xxx

Hi all,
@Maidenpink sorry to hear how you’ve been feeling. Glad your feeling a bit better💐. When I’m physically ill it affects my mood and as we already suffer from depression it can make you feel worse. I agree with you from looking on the outside regarding @polelynn insight into being a mum as I have no children.
I’m glad you’ve a holiday to look forward too which I hope will be lovely 🏊‍♀️

@polelynn it’s so good to hear your progress going out which put a smile on my face. It can be really challenging when situations occur that we may not have of thought have that can cause anxiety but I know we can all get through this. Like what has been said let’s be gentle with ourselves and give ourselves time💕
Sorry you’ve found your session draining...keep remembering how well you’re doing..there is light ahead.
I’m glad you managed to plant seeds...I hope those naughty squirrels stay away.

@FiloFaxx sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. Sorry to hear of your bereavement💐
Small things can set me off. I feel very fragile emotionally which makes me feel vulnerable for example if I interact with someone who comes across as quite harsh.
I hear you regarding those negative thoughts...I’m playing music to try and prevent my mood from dipping.

@cravingthelook I’m often tired...I’ve never slept well though and have another condition that causes me fatigue.

I’ve been struggling to concentrate and stay motivated at work. It’s hard keeping negative thoughts away...what’s the point is my new phrase although some days are not bad. I find myself thinking am I lying to myself about how I really feel? Telling myself I’m ok when I’m not? Keeping busy socially to plug a emotional gap temporarily that may always be there. Accepting a life I may never truly be happy with. But the reality is not many people really have all they desire in life and I am fortunate in many ways.

Thinking of you all🌼🌻🌺🌷

@Maidenpink the symbol after the swimming symbol
was typed by mistake

@sugarlost good to hear from you. I totally get that sense of what is the point and about whether we are deluding ourselves about our more positive moments (see below). In terms of other people's lives, that Instagram/FB portrayed life is never ever the whole picture. Everyone has different mountains to climb. I remember putting up a photo of us all during a walk a year or so ago then in the text laid out the reality of what it took to get the DC out of their bedrooms and their behaviour up to and after the picture which was being horrid to one another and moaning non stop and that DH spent the whole walk 20 odd steps ahead of us in a mood. The photo was just a snapshot of a moment in what was an ordeal quite frankly so not at all our reality.

I've had an odd few hours which upset me and has made me doubt myself and my progress. During our way home yesterday my daughter told me that she thought I wasn't improving and was actually getting worse. She is getting frustrated that I cannot do the things she wants me to do with her. My husband said similar this morning. It feels like all my small breakthroughs over the last week or so have been in vain and completely unseen despite me pointing them out. I guess others take what I do completely for granted, I know I did, so understand it doesn't look like the big deal it is. That sense of 'what is the point' has been very heightened for me since those conversations. I spoke to a close friend who knows that I am unwell and she boosted my confidence and told me to ignore them (!) but I've started to wonder if I'm lying to myself about getting better if those I love and live with are saying such things. I feel I've lost a lot of trust in myself over the last few months. What to do with this information I don't really know. I'm not going out today for my walk as feel it's all rather pointless so just going through the motions.

Sending love to all. X

I am on week 3 of Fluoxetine and though most of my crazy thoughts have totally gone and 8 am coping with stuff much much better, I still often feel the physical signs of anxiety and still have dreadful morning anxiety on waking. Will this go???

@polelynn You are so right regarding Social Media....the visual imagery that is portrayed can be so different to the reality of behind the scenes and your example is a good one. I was watching two women on separate social media accounts who appear very confident and surprisingly they both opened up about suffering from depression and having therapy. In a way I found it comforting (maybe that’s the wrong word) that even the people who appear most confident can be suffering internally....not that I wish them to be suffering...I wish everyone well who is suffering.

I’m upset for you regarding your families feedback but unless someone walks in your shoes it’s hard to fully understand what someone is experiencing. As someone who suffers from depression I believe you are making positive steps forward and please don’t let your family impact on your thinking negatively. It takes a lot of courage to have taken the steps that you have done recently so I encourage you to keep going and also discuss how your feeling regarding your families feedback with your therapist. Remember this is a marathon not a race and I don’t think your family understand that but we do and we are here to support you. You have been putting a smile on my face with your recent progress and I’m sure this will continue. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and wishing a positive outcome for us all🌺.
How are you feeling today? I hope you’re ok and go for a walk.

@Haze41 I’m glad to hear you’re coping much better. Give yourself time with your medication, I’m assuming your GP will review you at 4 weeks so you can feedback and discuss possible options if needed. Everymindmatters section on NHS website has information regarding wellbeing...anxiety etc which you may find helpful for tips and advice.

@Maidenpink & @FiloFaxx I hope you are ok.

I’m feeling a bit nauseous with stomach discomfort. I think my period is coming but touch wood emotionally I feel ok at the moment....I can be quite bad emotionally at this time so we shall see. Hopefully the medication will keep me feeling calm also not working today is helping with my mood. Work is so draining at times but at least I have the weekend. I’m hoping I feel better to meet friends today.

🌼🌻🌷🌸

Hi everyone,

Been working hard to get organised for going away today and it's been really challenging. My mood has been so low, I can't tell if the pressure of all there is to organise for going away has made me worse. It's not been fun.

@sugarlost I hear all of those thoughts and have been pondering them. They are very typical of a depressed person and I can relate. I think we can think in extremes when we feel bad, either your life is okay or it's not. But that isn't reality. Most of us, you included, are happy with some aspects of our life but not others. I don't think we have to like everything to be okay. It's maybe good to acknowledge that there are aspects of your life you would like to change and that you are grateful for the things you have. You/we can do both. I think when we are depressed and struggle to feel genuine ease and happiness we can start to think that we only pretend to be happy. But that is what depression does! The Paul Gilbert book talks about this stuff. It's okay to want more for yourself. But your depression is making it feel like you don't like anything you've already got and I don't get the impression that's true. It's hard @sugarlost. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense. Sending love.

@polelynn I'm really sad to hear what's happened with your family. I can only think you are so adept at concealing your distress and functioning at a level that causes minimal disruption to their lives that they simply don't understand how challenging things are for you and how significant (really bloody significant btw) what you have a achieved this past while is. Perhaps they imagine because you've been on the pills a while and have started therapy that you should be doing cartwheels to the shops. But we both know that is not how recovery works. At all. We also know that the action of this medication takes ages to get to full effect. 12 weeks for the antiobsessional effects to kick in fully. And therapy takes time to be really impactful, and you HAVE made significant progress. We know that. I agree with your frienf ... put those comments to one side, knowing that they just want you to be well but don't understand fully what you're going through. Don't take this the wrong way but go for your walk. Even though your thoughts are saying it's pointless and you're kidding yourself. I'm telling you you're not and if you go out for a walk you're acting against the depression/anxiety. You are strong and you have got this. Recovery happens. Sending you a big hug. You're doing so well.

I was crying this morning just so sick of my mood and asked my husband 'Will I be okay again?' and he said 'I don't know' as he wasn't really thinking. He apologised as it upset me further. He forgets how fragile I am and how I need a bit of cheerleading at times. So you're not alone @polelynn. ❤

@Haze41 welcome. ❤ It's fantastic that you've felt positive effects by 3 weeks. That is quite quick. This medicine can take 6-8 weeks to kick in, longer for OCD, and that's at the right dose. So it's really early days.

Love to you all. Xxx

Aah @sugarlost we crossed posts. ❤ Glad you're feeling okay emotions-wise, I hope you're stomach settles down. I just wanted to say re feeling better to know others struggle ... I've really beaten myself up about such thoughts before but I read a nice thing in the Paul Gilbert book about this very thing. Feeling better when we know others are struggling isn't because we are happy that they are, it's because we know we are the same as others, which makes us feel more connected and less alone, which is just a basic human need. We want/need to belong. Xxx

Thank you so much. Yes three weeks is quite a short time. So is it normal to feel sort of wired still. I thought side effects lasted around 2 weeks. I feel like I have overdosed on coffee, it's a very physical jungle jangly feeling and a bit over chatty. Lol

@Maidenpink @sugarlost just checking in briefly to say thank you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but the fact that we connected through here and that you are both in my corner and understand means a great deal to me. @Maidenpink I hope you enjoy your break and, even if for a little while, are able to forget. Don't put too much pressure on yourself though. Sending my love to you both. X

@polelynn being able to connect here has been a lifeline some days. ❤ I hope you are okay.

@haze41 I would say for me anyway, that wired feeling took longer than 3 weeks to go away. Everyone's different and for some it may be quicker. I noticed I was quite shaky around 5/6 weeks and I felt my thoughts still raced until around that time. Have you been prescribed for depression or anxiety?

I had a sea dip soon after I arrived and it was nothing short of miraculous the impact on my mood. It's the best antidepressant going.

Xxx

Hi, I hope you all had a lovely weekend.

@Maidenpink I'm glad the dip in the sea was such a good stress relief for you😊. The simple things in life can sometimes make all the difference!
I find packing to go away and the whole airport process if flying to be stressful.
Thank you for your helpful advice...I definitely need to read that book! I have been unable to concentrate to read recently.
Sorry to hear how you've been feeling emotionally, I hope your husband is more sensitive going forward. This illness is heartbreaking at times but we will get through it. Sending love back to you.

My stomach wasn't to bad in the end which is great as I had a nice weekend with friends. I still feel ok emotionally, I think the sun is helping.
You're so right about the basic need to connect to others.. I've realised that so much more recently and our support group had really helped me too.

@polelynn sending thanks to you too. I do think in life when I've experienced some real challenges I've also met some lovely people along the way which is something good to come out of some of the difficulty in life.

I've had a busy weekend and work is helping to distract some negative thoughts that have sprung up this morning. Also the medication is helping. I feel ok at the moment.

Thinking of you all and wishing you a good day🌻🌼🏵️🌸

@sugarlost good to hear you are feeling positive and that the medication is working for you.

I’m decompressing today after my DH returned to work. Need to try to keep motivated going for those walks this week to keep up momentum.

In this weather it’s tempting to join @Maidenpink in having a dip in the sea 🥵, I hope you are feeling relaxed and calm in your environment now you’ve been there a couple of days.

X

@sugarlost glad your weekend went well and you're feeling okay emotionally. ❤ You're sounding in a better place overall and I really hope that continues for you.

I'm struggling still despite being away. I'm low and I feel guilty and frustrated that I feel this way on holiday. My period arrived this morning, but no major relief mood wise as of yet. I've made an appointment with GP to discuss my hormones. I really think this is partly down to some changes there and I want to see if they can support me with that. Couldn't get an appointment for over 3 weeks though.

Hope everyone else is doing okay. Xxx

Hi everyone

So a good day for me today, with a few small and not so small wins over my OCD. Managed another walk by myself and put myself in a situation that I’ve previously been uncomfortable doing. The anxiety was there but not as all consuming and I was able to stick it out longer than I’d expected. Little steps but they add up.

Good to hear you’ve got an appointment booked @Maidenpink. I hope you are feeling a bit brighter now. Try not to be too hard on yourself. X

That's brilliant @polelynn. Really great. It all matters and it all counts. Fab to hear you say it was a good day for you. ❤ You're making such good progress. Xxx

@polelynn glad to hear you had a good day. You're doing really well and you're right the little steps add up!🌟
The weather should be cooling down soon which will be good.

@Maidenpink sorry to hear how you've been feeling💐. I do think hormones have played a major part in how I've felt at times and I'm surprised my recent period was ok mood wise as my intrusive thoughts can increase at that time.
It's good you've made an appointment with your GP...since it switched to phone appointments I'm lucky I can normally get called on the same day if I ring early morning ...when it was face to face it took weeks to get an appointment.

I've had a productive two days at work but I'm exhausted by the end of the day. I know the weather and concentration hasn't helped. I do suffer from fatigue but it makes me sad to feel so exhausted. I've been going to bed early, sleeping more broken and dreaming alot.
I honestly think maybe I'm meant to be single as I haven't the energy to share my space after a working day.
I'm ok though and as mentioned previously the intrusive thoughts have decreased at the moment which is good and I'm thankful..not sure how long that will last.

I hope you both have a good day. Thinking of you🌻🌼
XX

Good morning everyone,

Thanks for your understanding messages and I'm sorry again for dipping in and out.

@Maidenpink I'm sorry you're feeling like you're struggling while on holiday. I'm glad you've got an appointment but a shame it is a few weeks away. I used to be able to get a call the same day for phone calls but even that's changed here too. I hope today is a better day for you.

@polelynn sounds like really good progress was made yesterday that is so amazing.

@sugarlost that sounds positive too about your instrusive thoughts but good to be kind to yourself too and relax when you can. Broken sleep is awful and as you say the weather won't be helping.

I've only got three tablets left and for some reason having issues getting more! When I had my appointment with my GP she said just phone up for more so I tried to do that on Monday but they made an appointment for July and asked me to phone the repeat prescription team in the meantime which I did but haven't heard anything. Then I tried to call the pharmacy and it's just ringing out! Hate things like this as it just makes me more and more anxious trying to sort things out!

@filofaxx that is really frustrating and anxiety inducing. I find dealing with that sort of thing really difficult when I'm already struggling. Did you leave a message with the prescription team? If so they may just process your prescription and send to pharmacy. Alternatively you could pop in to the I pharmacy (if that's possible, I know you have very young children) and explain the situation and they may be able to contact your surgery and get it sorted out. I hope you get it sorted out soon.

@sugarlost fatigue can be so overwhelming and it's bound to affect your mood too. I think you do so well putting in a day's work and managing that with everything else you're contending with. You may not feel you have anything left for anything else just now, that's okay and likely won't always be the case. But you're getting better and you sound as though things are a bit more manageable. So grow from there. ❤ Glad your intrusive thoughts are down too.

Day 2 of my period, aching hips and feeling so flat. But at least my period is here and I'm hoping that my mood will pick up again. So weird, I used to get such a relief when I started bleeding, it was like a switch sometimes and all my PMS just went away but it's not like that now. Everything feels slower and harder to get over. I'm thinking of trying to overhaul my diet and do some more/different exercise ... I'm just desperate to feel better than I do.

Hope you all have a good day. Xxx

@Maidenpink yes I'd left a message with them the other day but was the first time so wasn't sure if it would work. I finally got through to the pharmacy today and they've got it there! They've also signed me up to a text service so the next time they'll text when it's ready to be picked up so that makes me feel a lot better. I can go and collect them on the way to collecting DD from nursery :)

Oh great @filofaxx, glad you got that sorted out! X