Health Anxiety - Part 4

[polkadotpixie]

I hope no-one minds me starting a follow up thread. I know some people were waiting for me to update so I thought I would but happy to ask MNHQ to delete if one of the long term posters wanted to start it 😊

@KasparKat
Mine was a 24hr ECG but I am very interested in what the cardiologist will say because he will see that my heart rate had these massive spikes but as I was not able to explain, I have no idea if he realises they are just from standing up. During he night I also had some adrenaline rushes so he will be able to also see random spikes in heart rate in the night.
I am just expecting to be referred further which means my anxiety will not get any better during all of that waiting and tests.
For the first time in my life I feel so horrible though that I actually want to find out what is wrong with me, but that doesn't make me any less worried.

When is your appointment with the cardiologist @argueifnecessary?

I have two weeks holiday coming up so feeling annoyed that this is all happening in the middle of it so I will be feeling anxious/going to appointments etc. when I should be taking the opportunity to relax for once!

I'm actually not feeling too worried about it as now at least I am being taken seriously and they have medical evidence of my tachycardia and I am on the road to figuring out what it is. I will be very surprised if it isn't pots. I just hope the cardiologist is good and knows something about pots, I've read that a lot of doctors don't know anything about it and average time for it to be diagnosed is something like 7 years! At least I know it's very unlikely to kill me.

The other comfort is that I was feeling such a failure that CBT wasn't working as I was still feeling so anxious in my body, with high heart rate and adrenaline rushes, and now that it seems there is some kind of medical reason for it other than anxiety, I'm feeling less of a failure. But I have to admit I'm kind of looking forward to saying "told you so" to my poor therapist who has spent the last few months trying to convince me its "just" anxiety and there's nothing wrong with me 😆

The thing I'm freaking out about the most is the muscle twitches/vibrating. I'm getting it mostly down my left side which seems odd but I've also had a twitch in my right eye for at least a week now. Someone was saying that this is common with pots so I hope that's what is causing it and its not a tumour/Parkinsons/degenerative muscle condition etc. Its horrible though as it's impossible to ignore it or switch off from it.

@tmh88, was your CBT on the NHS? Was it specifically targeted at health anxiety? Great that it seems to have helped you.

Has anyone had what feels like matted lymph nodes and is still alive to tell the tale? I have two lumps that feel connected by fat or something. I'm bricking it!

Posted elsewhere before finding this thread. Does anyone get dizziness, headaches, weak hands,nausea in head, pins and needles and smell weird smells when they have a particularly bad anxiety episode? I am lying here sobbing as I think I have a brain tumour?

@Iamsodonewith2020
All those symptoms sound like anxiety. Especially if you only get them during attacks.
@KasparKat
I am calling my GP tomorrow to hear what the cardiologist has said, I haven't actually met him, just the data from the ECG has been sent to him for reviewing. But I suspect he'll want to see me now.

I am also almost certain I have POTS just very very worried about what might be causing it and thinking brain tumour now without anxiety, at my clear and rational moments too. But it it 4.54 and I am awake now so perhaps it's not the most rational time of the day.
@AJ297 not sure about fat but if lymph nodes are inflamed then there could definitely be more than one in the same place. I've had two next to each other behind my ear before. They are connected by lympf vessels so maybe that's what you're thinking is fat? Or are they actually lipomas?

Hi everyone, haven’t posted much in the last few days, had a stressful time with my elderly nan admitted to hospital. Thankfully she seems to be recovering now.

Will try to catch up on you all and come back later!

Hope everyone has a good day!

Hey ladies so I ended up booking a private breast consult. It’s tomorrow morning, I feel so nervous. It’s to do with a dent in my areola when I lift my arm up and the breast pain. Can barely move today I feel paralysed with the what ifs

Hi everyone - hope you're all well. I've missed you all. Been so busy with new full time job and kids and husband away. Haven't had chance to read thread yet but just wanted to pop on and say hi

Hi @MrsWhites glad your nan is on the mend and hope she gets fully better soon

@Goolies really hope it goes well tomorrow and you can get some reassurance well done for booking it and I'm sure after tomorrow you will get some peace and will ease your worries

Thanks @argueifnecessary it could be that. I had my second Oxford vaccine yesterday and now have a big lump under that armpit, I'm hoping it's just a side effect 😭

@AJ297 it's so likely to be a reaction to your covid jab. Think of it as a positive, that your immune system is doing what it should do. It could stay like that for a quite a while and still be a totally normal reaction. Can you set a date in your calendar e.g. in two or three weeks, and only allow yourself to think about it if it is still there on that date. At which point you can make a GP appointment if you are worried. I find it helpful to have a plan and then tell yourself whenever you worry that you have a sensible and cautious plan in place and that you can rest assured that in the meantime it would be better for your health not to worry. And then however many times you start to think of it you tell yourself that you have a plan in place and you will follow that plan. I hope that might help?

@Iamsodonewith2020 I agree that those symptoms sound like anxiety, especially if they are only there when you are highly anxious. It's amazing how the mind can affect the body.

@Goolies again try to think of this as a positive. You are very breast aware and are doing the right thing in getting it checked out very quickly, much quicker than most people would. In the very unlikely event of there being anything bad you will have caught it extremely early, but the overwhelmingly likely outcome is that it is normal. I have fibrocystic breasts and they are full of lumps, swollen bits, ridges etc. but all of that is still normal and benign. So even something that looks or feels dramatic can be entirely normal and nothing to worry about. And what you have described sounds very normal to me. Hope you can find ways to distract you and kill the time before your appointment. You'd probably be waiting at least 4 weeks on the NHS by the time you could make a GP appointment, be seen, referred, scanned and get results. Would it help to plan a way to celebrate a clear scan tomorrow? I think as anxiety sufferers we only let ourselves think of the bad what ifs, and not the positive what ifs. Perhaps thinking about how you will feel/celebrate when you get positive news tomorrow would help a bit?

I'm feeling fairly calm about my cardiology referral today. My body still feels like I'm about to take an exam I haven't prepared for but at least my mind is fairly calm! I'm really finding the YouTube hypnotherapy helpful, even if it generally makes me fall asleep so I end up having a nap during my lunch break every day at the moment!

@Goolies well done for booking the appointment, I hope it goes well and gives you some answers. Let us know how you get on.

@KasparKat good luck with your appointment too, I’m glad you are getting referred if it gives you some reassurance.

@AJ297 I’ve heard of lots of similar side effects with the covid vaccines. It’s scary for those of us with anxiety to just accept that it’s probably a side effect!

Afternoon ladies, sorry I can't catch up with everyone's post, but just to check in and say I'm thinking of you all dealing with anxiety! As we had into another weekend! I've been having a bit of a poke at my breasts, and my period still hasn't shown up, God knows where that is! Still need to book my smear, but I'm hanging on until this next period comes! Obviously I won't hang on forever. But I really need to crack down on the stress from all this OCD and checking, and from the health anxiety, and then hopefully my body might feel more normal again.!

Sorry to be a pain but would anyone have links to any of the previous threads please? I'm trying to help my DM get some support with her health anxiety but she doesn't use MN usually so I wanted to just email her some links and I can't seem to find them.

@AJ297

Thanks *@argueifnecessary* it could be that. I had my second Oxford vaccine yesterday and now have a big lump under that armpit, I'm hoping it's just a side effect 😭

AJ I still have a lump under my pit over a month after getting my jab. GP says it's very common.

@AJ297
It is a side effect! Just read that women shouldn't have mammograms after the covid jab because it's impossible to differentiate the hard lympf nodes from cancer so you would go through unnecessary biopsies. But doctors should be aware of that but also, people advised to always say if you've had the jab recently.

Thanks all! I don't know what I'd have done without this thread lately 💕

Just have a feeling of sadness. Don't exactly want to poke but just feel doomy, anyone else get that? X

@Skyliner001 yes I know exactly what you mean, I get it mostly in the mornings. It’s like a worry or an anxiety that I can’t put my finger on so it makes me sad, irritated and sort of like I can’t sit still x

@Skyliner001 yes I do, like @MrsWhites mostly in the mornings, sometimes in the afternoons too but mornings are the worst for me.

@Skyliner001 I definitely get this. I normally wake around 5:30am and that's my worst time for anxiety. Sometimes I know what I'm feeling anxious about but sometimes it's just an impending feeling of doom and panic

@Skyliner001 get it everyday!! Can never put my finger on what is causing it sometimes lasts half an hour sometimes all day x

@Skyliner001 that's what causes my obsessions, I get the doomy feeling and if I don't know why I will literally sit there looking for something and then when I find it it's the hot flushes and adrenaline rush and round we go again!

@Skyliner001 I have the doom feeling today, it always lead to me poking because I think I start to wonder whether the doom feeling is because of my boobs....I think I almost imagine my body is trying to tell me something!

@MrsWhites
I have learnt in the 10 years of hving this health anxiety that we can't trust our bodies. I can honestly say that before that I was very aware of my body in a positive way and when I felt something was off, it usually was and I was able to approach it in a wholesome way so to say. But now, I have niggles here and there that I get extremely worried about and then just disappear so I know we can't trust our instincts any more.

I am also having a terrible morning. Woke up at 7 and happened to read about glioblastomas. Started with new vaccine that targets it and has so far had great results but then the rabbit hole of people going in days and weeks after finding out.

And because my main worry right now is a brain tumour of some kind, I feel jittery and shaky etc but not even actively anxious which makes me worry even more