Has anyone taken that PHQ test and been told they have severe depression?

[Flightthebluetouchpaper]

I think that's what it's called. My GP just made me take it, you fill in how many times per week you feel a certain way, then they add it up. I scored 19 which she says is 'severe depression'.
It made me feel awful just to be told that - like I should have moderated the answers a bit, because things are not always this bad.
It also makes me feel I ought to change my behaviour/people can see by looking at me, or something - I feel 'labelled', this is silly because I've been officially depressed for years - just hate being reminded of it as it knocks the wind out of your sails, when you haven't got much in there to start with.
I feel like giving up now. Especially as she is faxing it to the HV team to send someone out to 'help' but I hate, hate, hate talking to the HV as they are not qualified in mental health and I feel really looked down on, misunderstood and judged - I am so scared that they will try and take my kids away.
It's true that I lose my temper more when I'm depressed, I have been known to smack Ds1, I can be preoccupied and cry more than usual - but he is not at risk of injury or being abandoned. As for Ds2 he is wonderful and I couldn't hurt him.
She kept on about my suicidal feelings and didn't seem to believe me when I said I've had them for years, I would not act on them, they are just feelings that's all.
Has anyone else been through this? I feel like I had a facade on that was helping me get through and it's just been taken away.

Sorry, I don't know your history, but I had my PND confirmed through a questionnaire very like the PHQ one, and for me it was a massive relief. I found it so helpful to own up to how I was feeling, the diagnosis helped me to feel I had a right to be honest. I know it's so hard when you're low, but tell yourself the HV is there to help, they see this the whole time, try not to resent them, or it'll be much worse.

Are you on meds?

Thanks so much...yes it helps to remember they see it a lot, I just always imagine I'm a nuisance and a weirdo in their eyes.

No meds, am breastfeeding and I know you can take some even so, but don't want to - I am pretty uncompliant about medication and I know I wouldn't be able to keep taking it, plus all the stuff you hear about AD's making you suicidal and having to change doses etc. I just feel I would be getting into something really complex and risking messing up my head even more.

I've asked the GP for some CBT or therapy, she's referring me, I'm really pleased about that as I had some before which helped.

I have been depressed on and off for a long time, and never taken AD's...it comes and goes. I'm sure the lack of sleep with a four month old doesn't help much! Things must get better soon...

Did you take anything, MyEye? Did it help?

Dh had this test alst week, he ahs had episodes for years- he said he found it validating tbh, rather than anything else- amde him feel he wasnt making it up.

Sounds like you've posibly been indenial and thats what ahs been 'taken away'?

Thanks Peachy. I think it all started off a few weeks ago with my DSS medical, which apparently I 'failed' (I think you answered my thread last week about that) so in a sense it's good as she can tell them they are talking rubbish...on the other hand every time the interview comes round, I get really low as yes, it does take away the 'denial' thing.

But there's not a lot I can do about it so I need to maintain composure somehow. You just have to get through, don't you?

Peach what does your DH take? Has he had any help?

I was b'f too. I took dothiepin (AKA dosulepin) and it helped massively. It got me stable. I came off the pills after 8/9mths, and had no probs.
If you have ongoing problems with depression, please think seriously about meds, side effects are rare and the difference they can make is terrific. They just get you out of the rut, and then you can give them up.
It's so hard to imagine things being different/ meds actually working when you are low, but I found it so incredible to be able to enjoy my baby's babyhood instead of hating almost every minute (as I had with my first baby when I hadn't been diagnosed).
How long till the CBT? I'm sure counselling will be good but it's just getting to the first appointment, isn't it.

He's ahd loads of meds, but satrted another last week that is clearly helping- fluoxetine. His temper is reagined already, and he is back at work next week . Its a six month clourse as well, whcih as excellenta sgenerally they give him a fortnight and then he wont get any more.

dothiepin isn't an SSRI (was nervous of those), it's an old-style AD. It did make me groggy when I took it at first, but that meant it was much easier to sleep when I actually got the opportunity so it was beneficial in that way.

Thankyou MyEye, that gives me a different perspective. I suppose what I'm afraid of is that they will work for a bit, then I'll stop taking them, and be back to square one afterwards as the problem's such a long term one. I'm afraid they won't 'cure' it so I'll be stuck on them forever...it isn't just PND iyswim.
I will definitely consider them though. CBT could be a while but GP is good and has marked it urgent I think, so you never know...

Thanks again Peachy, I hope they work for him. It is all so confusing, isn't it?

Well, I would look to the counselling to hopefully tackle the underlying issues, but maybe the ADs could help you get through until then (and sheesh, I remember that when I was low, an afternoon felt like infinity).
It sounds like you need all the support you can get. Why deny yourself anything that could make it easier for you?

Massive sigh of relief to read that, Star - thanks so much.
The GP always asks me if they are 'at risk' but I never know what to say - yes I am liely to leave the cooker on and burn the house down, yes I don't have the energy to play with Ds1, yes I shout too easily sometimes. Emotionally maybe he is losing out - even depressed himself at times? But I don't beat him up and he does get fed, somehow.
So I guess though it isn't ideal for the boys in many ways, they might be worse off elsewhere.

My mum has worked with children and says she would tell me if she thought they were at risk, she sees things pretty much as they are here.
I'm really, really glad the HVs aren't likely to do something like that. Thanks

Hi. I just had to respond before I feed my little ones. I am suffering with depression now (PND), but have sufferd in silence in the past.

I am being seen weekley by the mental health team at home and also having CBT. I am currently on Zenaflaxine for the depression and finding it OK. It has evened out my moods, without giving me a high IYKWIM. I was very warry of drugs, but say a consultant and this was his recomendation.

They promised me that they would not take the children away as tht is counter productive - I felt sucisidal and a bad mum. Things are getting better

I'm glad I'm not alone. It sounds like a great 'package' of help, Madnomorebangs. I've never had CBT but keen to try it as psychotherapy would take years...

Thankyou star I am feeling very fed up again today, as I've had a letter this morning saying they have 'looked again' at the decision, and have not changed it...I wonder if they have even read my letter, because if so they haven't believed it.
And they didn't wait for my GP tp write which I asked them to do...she hasn't even sent a letter yet.
The contrast between what the Dr. 'noted' in my examination and the actual reality is pretty stark...reading the report, it is all based on the fact that I looked 'well kempt' and was able to speak...FFS had she any training in mental health she might realise that depressed people can look 'normal' and still be thinking of suicide on a daily basis. It has made me very upset reading that today.
I just hope the GP's letter will get written and might sway their judgment a bit. If not I think she will sign me off anyway, so I guess I've not much to worry over..

sorry for the rant. I'll be alright, just helps to write it down.

Actually that has cheered me up a lot! It is good to know I'm not the only one finding this an uphill struggle. It's like catch 22, if you can't articulate your problems you are deemed OK by default - if you can articulate them, you 'must be Ok then'!
I had the same problem when I was anorexic, the Dr didn't seem to think I needed any help, because I was obviously 'smart enough to figure it out for yourself'.

Thanks ever so much for replying Star, it means a lot that someone understands!

sweetfa, are you the OP? im confused

Anyway, hello - just wanted to offer my support, yes you can be depressed and still be articulate and normal, i think most people who suffer with depression do a good job of appearing normal (i know i do!).

Have you been offered any actual help? ADs?

oh and fwiw, i thought my HV was useless, i did a similar test when DD was about 8 weeks, she told me i was severely depressed and should make sure i eat properly never mind the fact i had gall stones and eating ANYTHING meant i was in agony. Two years later and a new GP, i finally got the help i needed. But im rather angry about the two years i have suffered. I know where you are coming from about the suicidal feelings, i have them sometimes, but i am 120% sure im not suicidal.

on the subject of having your boys taken away - i have been at my health centre in complete meltdown hysterics, almost raving, before i got help. Not once has my doctor even asked me about my DD and how i manage with her. For some reason i do manage her ok, and i have told GP that i dont think i have any problems in that direction but there has never even been any suggestion that HVs would get involved or anything like that. Mind you i did tell the doctor i thought my HV was shite and she made me feel worse (shes a nice lady but just doestn get it ) and the doctor just smiled and said, yes she is a bit like that isnt she!

They will NOT take your children away because you are asking for help, that would be helpful to no one at all, especially your children, they need their mum.

Yes LEM, it is me...sorry! Halloween name, firework name, then back to FA then this one.
I can't keep up either

Thanks, yes I have little faith in HV's - glad to know I'm not the only one. Yours sounds pretty unhelpful.

I think it's possible to have awful feelings and still maintain a respectable appearance, I think loads of people do it. I made an effort to look tidy partly because I was so ashamed of being at the interview in the first place, what do they expect, perhaps I should have turned up in pyjamas!

Hope things are better with you now? Did you take anything or have counselling etc?
I'm hoping to get some CBT. Too scared to take AD's which I think also went against me in the exam.

have ony read the OP

just wanted to say that, yes, i filled out that form and ticked all the worst bits... it added up to 'lock her in a padded cell' so i kept it to myself. i dont feel i deserve any sympathy/help when i feel like that anyway(part of it i guess) hich is more the reason i never gave it in. that and shame.

anyways, your whole op could be me writing it at times so wanted to say that, no; youre far from alone. i have much sympathy/empathy and i am pretty sure i get loads more support and have no outside reasons or 'excuses' for feeling any of that.

im alright at the moment. ticking along on a mostly even keel. feeling pretty normal and human, so not doing anyhing about it. have head in the sand i spose. ho hum.

just wanted to empathise.