Has anyone taken that PHQ test and been told they have severe depression?

[Flightthebluetouchpaper]

I think that's what it's called. My GP just made me take it, you fill in how many times per week you feel a certain way, then they add it up. I scored 19 which she says is 'severe depression'.
It made me feel awful just to be told that - like I should have moderated the answers a bit, because things are not always this bad.
It also makes me feel I ought to change my behaviour/people can see by looking at me, or something - I feel 'labelled', this is silly because I've been officially depressed for years - just hate being reminded of it as it knocks the wind out of your sails, when you haven't got much in there to start with.
I feel like giving up now. Especially as she is faxing it to the HV team to send someone out to 'help' but I hate, hate, hate talking to the HV as they are not qualified in mental health and I feel really looked down on, misunderstood and judged - I am so scared that they will try and take my kids away.
It's true that I lose my temper more when I'm depressed, I have been known to smack Ds1, I can be preoccupied and cry more than usual - but he is not at risk of injury or being abandoned. As for Ds2 he is wonderful and I couldn't hurt him.
She kept on about my suicidal feelings and didn't seem to believe me when I said I've had them for years, I would not act on them, they are just feelings that's all.
Has anyone else been through this? I feel like I had a facade on that was helping me get through and it's just been taken away.

Oh you poor thing. We all need a group hug!

Thankyou for sharing. It really does help. Sometimes it can seem like you're the only person in the world especially when you aren't believed etc.

I think it's common to feel 'ok-ish' sometimes with depression, then have a bad patch or whatever. I know I feel as if I'm fine sometimes. Just not recently...

bless you.
it will come. sure as eggs is eggs, what goes down, must come up

x

SweetFA, thats it - turn up in your PJs, backcomb your hair and wear bright red lipstick THEN they might listen!!

Seriously though, i was exactly the same as you - I am on citalopram (similar to prozac) and its been really good for me. I was terrified of taking them and they sat in the drawer for two weeks before i finally gave in after another dramatic meltdown. They are not a miracle cure but they DO help, especially to put things in perspective. That way you can train yourself out of negative thoughts. Apparently people take these on average about six months and along with counselling they are meant to really help. I've just started counselling but i dont think im going to get the benifit i need, as on NHS can only have six sessions (chocolate teapot then!). Ive had two sessions and after the second one, i feel worse so i cannot say how it is going to pan out. CBT is what i feel i need, but guess what, not available on NHS in this area. Maybe if i win the lottery

I really think you need to go back and insist on some help, give the ADs a try , they really cleared the fog for me.

Did you have any side effects, Lucyellen'smum? You actually make them sound quite attractive!!

I don't know, might be worth it if I can't get the CBT.
The government is really pushing it as treatment of choice atm, according to my mum, so odd that your local trust won't prescribe. My mum could be wrong though!

I had the counselling too, gave up after one session as she said silly, inappropriate things...telling me to talk to my abusive partner as he might change and also at what benefit you're supposed to gain from 6 sessions!

I had psychotherapy for 6 months and that wasn't nearly enough.

scowling at 6 sessions LEM.

hope youre all feeling a bit better today. or this hour. or minute.

side effects: There are quite a range of them on the data sheet (it almost put me off). The most common being nausea, thirst and insomnia. Also, many people do report feeling worse for the first few weeks until they kick in. For me, i had hardly any side effects, i felt a bit rushy and sick for the first few days but nothing to write home about. I have had some actual panic attacks since starting the ADs but i can recognise the symptoms, i know its the tablets so i just breathe through them. I honestly think that these tablets have saved my "marriage" (we live in sin) and possibly even my life. I have to say i would become very uncomfortable if they decided to take them away at this moment in time, but i cant say that is because im addicted, rather that i just like not being so strung out and fraught.

As for the CBT, my doctor said that whilst it is available on the NHS in this area, the waiting list and hoops you have to jump through to get on make it virtually not an option. So basically, you more or less have to be a basket case before that is considered. I dont know if that is because this is a relatively affluent area and most of the therapists can make a mint going private and dont bother with NHS or if it is something simply down to lack of funds, the latter i suspect as they seem to be doing their best to close all the hospitals around here just now.

I'm dubious about the counselling to be honest, ive seen my lady twice now. I am not sure what level of knowledge these people have or how they qualify. To be honest, she often looks a bit dazed when i have finished talking, she just keeps saying that i have "lots and lots going on" No shit sherlock! Oh and that i am worn out and i should try and get more me time, oh and join a gym - i keep thinking, i suspect she doesnt have children! Financial difficulties are a huge source of my stress at the present and joining a gym isnt feasable, and like, WHEN am i going to go to the gym FFS?? I worry that it is going to open a whole can of worms TBH and then i am going to bring things to the surface that i cannot deal with, A, because as everyone says, six sessions is scraping the surface and B, im not sure she is best qualified to help me. I do wonder if i need a pyschiatrist actually. Or maybe i just need to stay on citalopram forever

I think a psyhotherapist might be more like it - also hard to get, you have to wait a long time, and you're likely to get no more than 6 months on the NHS.
I know exactly what you mean about it scraping the surface - when I last had therapy the man didn't warn me it was only 6 months, I was hoping/thinking a year - I kept asking as I didn't know how deeply to get into things, and he said' lets just see shall we?' and then told me it would be ending a few weeks before it did.
I was angry and shocked and left feeling much, much worse as there was no time left to get back to a 'place of safety' in my mind, as it were. This is extremely bad practise...I complained not that it did any good. I felt very let down.
Yes, I also wonder what sort of qualifications the counsellors have - well intentioned no doubt but honestly, it isn't really tailored for long term or deeper rooted problems like yours and mine. The gym??? erm, yes... How useful is that!

Nappiesgalore - I hope you're having a reasonable day too

Oh and thankyou for the bit about the side effects. I found a thread on here for those on Citalopram, was reading it earlier to try and get an idea.