I have a long history of depression and I'm currently suffering with PND. The last few days I've been really low. Yesterday my DP had his covid vaccine and he feels unwell so is in bed. I'm looking after 3 DC on my own whilst feeling suicidal. I just can't do this. I know I have to. I know I have no choice but I just want to stop and break. Where my DP is physically unwell, that obviously trumps my mental illness. I have the number for the crisis team but I can't call them as I can barely get a spare minute (typing this has been stop start to deal with things for the DC) and even if I could, what's the point? I can't go anywhere or do anything to make it any better because I have to look after the DC. I just want to give up. I already have in mind that today is the last day I'll spend with my DC as I don't intend to be here past tomorrow. As soon as my DP is out of bed I can just give up.