Fluoxetine - has it helped?

[TwoAndMe]

Just outside the chemist waiting to pick up a prescription of this medication. It's taken many months for to finally accept that I have to try this medication.
I have had a difficult year, haven't we all?! I'm a nurse and really struggled with work and home schooling my dc's (15 and 13). They're a little older so I have been able to leave them to it. I have had to, I'm a single parent. However, they've struggled at times and needed my help, which is absolutely fine but it's hard with work etc. I. Just exhausted. I am also managing a few physical health issues that it now appears to be stress/anxiety related. I have absolutely no motivation and feel flat most of the time. I feel so guilty as I feel irritable too. Everything just feels like too much. I know what i should be doing but struggling to do it.
I'm wondering what your experience is/was with this medication?

Didn’t have diarrhoea- but I did lose my appetite for a few months. Didn’t complain though as I’d been comfort eating like a demon for the previous 18 months. My depression and anxiety had been pretty bad, and I remember the day when it felt like it had started working - a colleague stopped me in the corridor completely out of the blue and said “it’s nice to see the old you - it’s been a while”.

@TwoAndMe - how are you feeling?

First 24 hours were ok - felt a little spacey & tired with a very mild headache. Just taken 2nd capsule. I hope today is as easy.

AppleBlossomTimeNow morning 😊 ok, that's not too bad for you?! I took my 2nd dose lastnight. I did have a headache on and off yesterday. Woke about 4am and struggled to go back to sleep. I'm expecting mild side effects so will see it through and hope they pass. I'm counting down the days to see an improvement on my mood.
Thankyou for all following posts.

Sounds positive! My appetite has definitely diminished (no bad thing) & I have a slightly metallic taste in my mouth. I too woke in the early hours & slept fitfully so I'm having an afternoon nap. My mood is ok, maybe a little edgy, but I've not felt tearful or irritable, despite facing a big set back at work. It's prob placebo effect at this stage but I'll take it!

AppleBlossomTimeNow morning! How are you today? I woke again at around 4am and struggled to get back to sleep. Less of a headache yesterday, just a dull ache. When you mentioned set back at work, it made me think of the reasoning for taking the medication. I was starting to struggle with such minor set backs. Every little thing felt difficult. Would you say the same? Im glad you have noticed a small change. Hope you are ok?!

Morning @TwoAndMe - slept well but woke early. No headache today (so far).

Completely agree about set backs - I was scared that just one more thing (no matter how tiny) would make me freak out or crumple into a heap. How is your appetite? Mine's kind of gone. I'm eating but not feeling hungry. I have some lockdown lumber to lose so it maybe a useful side effect. I'm quite thirsty though.

Are you on 20mg? I believe that's the standard dose. I hope you have a restful day. You should feel proud of yourself - being proactive about one's mental health takes courage x

AppleBlossomTimeNow my appetite hasn't been great for some time. It appears the anxiety has played a big part in a few physical problems I have experienced, one being losing the ability to swallow. Long story short, I'm working with a speech and language therapist now. I have lost alot of weight because of this. Im on 20mg, yes.
Thankyou, yes it feels like I'm moving forward in some way. You should be too!
I hope you have a restful day too. Look after yourself x

Oh @TwoAndMe that sounds incredibly tough. I'm so very sorry that you have to endure that too, and I hope my comments about losing weight on anti-ds didn't cause you any pain. Life sometimes does become 'too hard to swallow'. I hope you feel a greater sense of ease & less anxiety soon. But meanwhile be very gentle with your lovely self - you must be running on fumes if you haven't been eating or sleeping well xxx

AppleBlossomTimeNow good morning 😊 Thankyou for your kind words. Please don't apologise, no pain at all. Please feel free and continue to share your feelings and experience here.
It has been very difficult and I guess thats why I was so reluctant to take medication at first. However, like I have mentioned, it got too difficult and I needed a little nudge. I have been drinking nutritional drinks from the GP for the past month so maintaining my weight now. I'm hoping the medication will give me the mental strength to move forward. I'm back at work Wednesday. I have struggled at work too. Again, hoping the medication helps with this too.
I took my 4th dose lastnight. No headache yesterday. I'm not sure if I feel any different yet. However, I managed to do the food shop, cook lunch and walk the dog without feeling too overwhelmed yesterday. This would have been so easy this time last year. By the end of the year, the slightest thing would feel so overwhelming. I couldn't understand it. So, yesterday was probably a good day for me.
I do hope you are ok. I hope you have a good day. Look after yourself xx

@TwoAndMe Are you sure you are ready to return to work on Weds? I know some people need work to distract themselves, but might it not be better to get signed off till the meds kick in & your sleep improves? I realise there must be a lot of pressure to return at this time given what you do, but you cannot pour from an empty cup & you have so much on your plate. A couple. Of weeks off now & a phased return might mean you go back full throttle & really ready. Limping back in on Weds could set you back indefinitely. Just sticking my oar in - obvs do what feels best/right but sometimes we need someone to point things out.

I slept well last night but woke at 5am which is a little early...but I had a coffee & listened to the radio whilst wrestling my feelings of nervousness/dread about the day ahead. All of which are in my head & nothing to do with reality. I feel so irrationally anxious about such daft stuff as well as convinced that people think I'm a disaster. A walk in the snow & tackling my to do list helped fend off the bad thoughts. I just wish my head could be a more peaceful place!

AppleBlossomTimeNow good morning 😊
I'm on phased return. Back in September, when things were really difficult, I was signed off work. This is when I started to feel the symptoms of what I know now as stress related. I was off Sep and Oct. In this time, I contemplated medication as like you, my mind was full of dread and irrational thoughts. I felt like my whole nervous system had gone into overdrive. I would panic at a check out in the supermarket. My dc's would be out walking the dog (like they have been for over a year) and I'd need to call on them within 5/10 mins. The smallest thing would be the biggest in my head. I decided to use my time to try and help myself. I started using a mindfulness app at bed time. Walking early every morning. Cut out alcohol. However, the whole time ,I couldn't stop thinking about how I was going to prepare myself to go back to work. I felt guilty, I needed to get back to distract myself (as I started to experience the swallowing difficulties). I went back in November on a phased return. That's when I pushed for investigations as I was adamant it was something other than stress/anxiety. How could stress and anxiety cause this, I cope, I always have (that's what I kept telling myself). I have been back 3 months. It's difficult to explain how I feel when I'm there. On edge, I guess. It can be a little toxic at times. I do feel pressure to be there. They're understaffed and I heard someone comment 'some full time staff would be great, all we need is someone to go off sick'. Its a kind of place where someone is topic of conversation. No doubt, I have been. The difficult part is trying to put on a front when inside, Im not myself. I have 2 weeks left of reduced hours. I then go back to 30 hours.
Thankyou, and your caring thoughts mean alot. You're right, sometimes we need someone to tell us. It's difficult as I'm on my own, sometimes the decisions seem heavier. I'm not sure if I did the right thing going back. I know, I needed the medication to help me think clearly.
How did you sleep? I woke about 6 and got some tea and got back into bed.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I know how awful that feels. Even my to do lists became too big. Do your to do lists help you feel more prepared for the day? I remember, cutting mine down. I noticed with myself, I always had to be productive in some way. Rest is a form of productivity. I'm still learning this myself. I find Instagram has many accounts that help with self care/self soothing. I also found breathing meditation, this is helpful for my feelings of overwhelm. I also read a book by Marissa peer, she suggested a to do list and starting with the most difficult thing first. She is also on Instagram. I know it's not for everyone. I'm not on any other social media site, only Instagram as I find it helpful at times.
I do hope you find some peace today.
Look after yourself xx

@TwoAndMe - that is such a difficult situation. It sounds like you are on 'high alert' or hyper vigilant the whole time you are at work & your anxiety thermostat is out of whack. Have you tried counselling? Maybe you need to unburden yourself, especially if you are on your own. All the other things you are doing are excellent & I love the expression 'rest is a form of productivity'. I'm a single mum too & find that my own needs are at the bottom of the list...plus it is so lonely/boring!

I slept well last night & woke at 6am. So that's an improvement. I also feel slightly less 'edgy' though this tends to come in waves. So I may just be in a lull before the anxiety hits again. I run, walk & do yoga - my main coping strategies - and I love podcasts. I also can't wait to get stuck into gardening again. Being outside soothes me.

I hope you have a good day. You are doing really, really well but we are just at the beginning of a long journey. We will get there xxx

Good morning @TwoAndMe - I'll be thinking of you today. I hope going back to work is OK & that your colleagues are supportive and understanding. You are a hero in my eyes.

I'm still waking up with that nervous dread feeling each day but know that it will pass eventually.

Take care xxx

AppleBlossomTimeNow evening 😊 thankyou for your kind message, it means alot. I hope the rest of your day felt better than this morning for you? Is it just the morning that you have these feelings? I know how awful they can be. It sounds like you have a really good list of things that help you. I enjoy being outdoors too. I love being near the sea. I would love to live near the coast.
When is your medication review with your GP? My GP said 2 to 3 weeks.
My day was ok, thankyou. I had a session with my therapist and he appears to be supportive and understanding so far. My next plan is to talk to my manager as I'm very good at putting on a front that I'm ok. He needs to know I'm still not 100%.
I hope you are ok and have had a restful day. Like you mentioned, this is a journey and we will get there, one day at a time xxx

Hello! Today was tough. I felt low & anxious, full of self doubt & feelings of worthlessness. It's such a rollercoaster. I have a counselling session tomorrow so I'm hoping I feel able to unburden myself & that this gives me strength. I long to feel steadier & more sure of myself. It's only day 6 and I need to be patient...

I'd also love to live near water. I miss swimming too. Can't wait for the pools to open again. Or to go for a long walk on a beach.

Do you think your MH issues are pandemic related (because of everything you've been through) or do you think it was always lurking?

AppleBlossomTimeNow morning 😊 I'm sorry yesterday was a difficult day for you. Tuesday was for me. I told myself the same, to be patient. It's difficult to be when you feel that way and quite exhausting too!
I hope today is a better day for you!
Interesting you ask that as I feel this sense of panic, racing thoughts and eventually very low mood came from nowhere. However, I now know I repressed every emotion to keep going forward because that's what I do, I manage and I'd manage through the pandemic. Before the pandemic, I had a difficult job and I am a single parent without support so life was busy. My dd's had outside of school activities and swimming was something I enjoyed too. Everything stopped! I know it did for many. I still had to go to work which I found very difficult aswell as managing my dd's at home. My youngest was very scared. I won't list the amount of set backs we had (the biggest was my dd's managed to flood the bathroom and it came through the kitchen ceiling, I have literally only just had that repaired) but looking back I can understand why I feel how I do. So yes, I think the pandemic has a huge part to play in the reasoning behind how I feel today. It's changed me. My therapist explained it as a bucket and with each thing I had to manage or each set back, the bucket is being filled until the bucket is too heavy and it oberflows then can't be moved. It's bizarre because it was like that. I remember going into work one day and I froze. From that day, I haven't been the same.
What are your thoughts? Do you think the pandemic is the reason you feel how you feel?

@TwoAndMe morning! I like the bucket analogy - I felt like the kids' game 'Buckeroo'. If one one thing was added to my back I'd flip out. I think the pandemic has affected us all with regards mental health. But your situation & everything you had to deal with sounds incredibly hard. I actually had a 'good' first lockdown - I was furloughed, there wasn't homeschooling to speak of, the weather was lovely....but this time round has been very different. The catalyst for my anxiety was getting covid in Oct & being hugely fearful I'd inadvertently infected others. It triggered so much anxiety & being ill on my own for 2 weeks (the kids were with their dad) I spent too much time brooding & feeling very low/lonely. I think it made me realise how vulnerable I am as a single parent. How easily my carefully constructed house of cards can topple. Now my job is at risk of redundancy too.

Day 7 & I am still feeling anxious/low esp in the mornings. My jaw is clenching quite a lot too. I hope half term brings sunshine & some relief.

Hope you have a good day xx

AppleBlossomTimeNow hello 😊
Buckeroo, absolutely! That's spot on!
It's been a tough year. I'm sorry you struggled alone while unwell. I can only imagine how much of a worrying period that may have been for you. When we are unwell, we do feel more vulnerable. Especially with this virus. With no choice but to recover alone. To manage alone. I hope you have fully recovered?!
Now you have mentioned this, I can relate. Over the months of feeling unwell physically myself, it highlighted how vulnerable I was too. It's almost like a traumatic event. It's like there is always that underlying thought of being alone.
You have alot on your mind. As a single parent, there is alot of pressure to earn a wage. I hope it doesn't come to that for you.
It's been 7 days. I'm hoping by week 2 this medication would have given you some respite.
Enjoy your evening. I think I will be in bed within the hour, I'm so tired. Glad it's the weekend though.

Take care of you! Xx

@TwoAndMe - thank you! It feels like such a reversal for me; I've always felt pretty self sufficient & strong as a single mum, and I have been/am. I think it knocked my confidence to feel so vulnerable and to think how much rests on me being ok. So Covid was a shock. Happily I had a 'mild' case & now feel fine - but viral infections can lead to low mood too so maybe the repercussions linger in a variety of ways.

I hope you sleep really well tonight & wake up feeling fresh. I went for a walk with a friend this afternoon & felt more like 'me' so I'm hopeful things are on the turn.

This weekend I hope you have a moment to think how brave you've been - to cope, to struggle, to seek help & to keep going. That is true strength & courage and a great example to your kids. You have a warmth & kindness that comes across even via the written word & I bet your friends, family & colleagues value you more than you know x

This thread is so lovely, iykwim. It's great that this dialogue is happening.
I have had my fluoxetine dose doubled this week, i'm hoping it will give me that little bit more support. It's for a trial month, so we'll see.

AppleBlossomTimeNow hello, your kind words were lovely to read, thankyou.
I'm so so glad you had a lovely walk with a friend. I'm glad this helped. You are very strong and brave too and definitely a great example to your children too. Like you have mentioned before, this is a journey. Be gentle with yourself. Hope you are having a lovely day xx
I'm just about to watch the rugby. It's Wales/Scotland. I only watch the Wales games.
JackieWeaverhastheauthority thankyou for your message. Thankyou, yes, its a lovely supportive thread. Im glad I posted. I hope the medication increase helps you.

@JackieWeaverhastheauthority - thank you! This thread is def helping me. Was the increase in dose prompted by you or your doc, and have you been on fluoxetine for a while? I hope it helps you.

@TwoAndMe - glad you are finding good distractions! I feel a bit spacey & apathetic at the moment. Can't decide if that's an improvement on jittery & productive! But I'm not bursting into tears every five minutes & I'm sleeping loads better. I don't want to feel numb though. I'm giving myself permission to have a lazy weekend of minimal housework & cooking. Just trying to acclimatise to feeling 'relaxed'. Maybe apathy & relaxation are the same thing...(can you tell I'm an over-thinker)?! Ha ha.

Anyway, I hope you both have good Valentine's Days feeling loved & loveable x

I asked for the increase in dose as i'm not coping very well with this lockdown - weather, lack of work for almost a year, family home constantly when i like space etc.
Ive also put on a lot of weight due to comfort eating and a "fuck it" attitude, so had a diabetes diagnosis (long family history of it too).

I've been on fluoxetine about 3-4 years,

AppleBlossomTimeNow hello, I'm hoping you had a relaxing weekend? I'm glad you are not tearful. If this is a change for you? This is a positive? It's great this thread is helping you as it is me too!
When I was considering medication in the months leading up to Christmas, I was concerned that if I took them, I would feel numb and I did not want that. However, things got to the point where I was lacking any kind of feeling and had lost all motivation. So, apathy was something I was experiencing anyway. I couldn't even cry. I had nothing in me. For me, it couldn't get any worse so I decided to try the medication. I do long to 'feel' again.

We are day 11 today. I think I will leave it 3 weeks to call my GP for a review.
JackieWeaverhastheauthority hello, I do hope the increase helps. It has been difficult for so many. You are not alone. I know that doesn't change things for you but sometimes knowing we are not alone in feeling this way helps? I know this thread has for me. It gives me a sense of comfort.
I try to walk on my own, take long baths. I also wake early so I have some time to myself in the morning. I know everyone's situation is different and this may not be possible for you?
Hope you both have a lovely day. Take care of you! Xx