I am not ok

[MozzchopsThirty]

I need to say it

I've slept for days and I'm not rested
I'm not on enough medication
My boyfriend let me down when I needed him
My kids are in their rooms all day
I'm not being a great parent
I don't want to go anywhere
I don't want to see anyone
I haven't eaten
I could quite easily start drinking now
I've cried a lot

I am not ok

Are there any family members you could chat to or text?

You've reached out to us on here... that's a positive.
Take small steps.
Firstly try to eat even if it's something small,
Do you have anyone you can talk to? If not there are lots of us on here who will listen.
My kids are in their rooms all day. I know how that feels, I see it as their way of coping.
Regarding your meds... have you contacted the GP?
Take deeps breaths... we are all on here to support each other

My Uber judgemental adult dd is here
I don't really have any family

I've talked to a friend today
I've reduced my sertraline from 200mg to 100mg in the last 6 months and now I'm not coping

Would it be worth explaining to your daughter how she makes you feel (if this is contributing to your low mood)?

Hi Op , sorry you feel rubbish. Could you up the sertraline again ? Sometimes when people feel better when taking AD’s they forget it’s because they are taking them .

Try something small , a hot bath/shower , and definitely try to eat something.

Keep talking on here too xx

It sounds like your dose might need reviewing. You could call your GP tomorrow for a phone appointment.

Definitely speak to your doctor, perhaps in the current climate it’s not the time to take reduced AD’s

I think a lot of people aren’t coping, not saying that to minimise how you’re feeling, just to let you know you are not alone.

And I’m sorry your BF let you down, feeling let down often sends me into a spiral of depression and everything seems worse. Has he acknowledged how he’s hurt you?

Also how old is your DD - can you have a grown up talk to her about how you feel

X

Thank you for talking to me, I know I have to phone the GP tomorrow, but I also know it'll take at least 10 days to start feeling normal

I'm not sure I can feel this way for that long

I told him how much he'd hurt me, he apologised.

But nothing is better

I don't want to talk to dd
She's 24, had a very black and white ideas
She's not easy to talk to

Things are never as simple as I wouldn't put up with that or I'd dump him etc

I don’t know what to say that will help.

I’m a practical person. What’s the least daunting food for you to prepare. Cereal? Toast? Ask a child to get you a ham sandwich?

If you’re half way dressed is there any chance you can manage a five minute shuffle round the block?

OP it's ok not to be ok. And it's even better to feel able to ask for help (even if only virtually). I relate to the loneliness of living with a non-communicative adult (just) DC. I know they're struggling too but it's pretty shit that they don't have the maturity to recognise (or appear to care) when others are struggling.

Could you force yourself to get out for a walk? Some fresh air and something new to look at may help.

I had a really bad day last week OP. It is shit and I am sorry you feel this way. As a PP has said could you go out for a short walk?

Here's a hand hold for you OP 🌸
I am a firm believer in that we know our conditions best. If you think you need to up your meds back to 200mg then do it, and arrange an telephone appointment with your Dr ASAP to talk through why you've done it.
I've been in a terrible place recently and just about starting coming out of it.
Start off being gentle with yourself. Ask yourself what would you like to eat and get it. Maybe a hot chocolate with some marshmallows and cream? Cheese on toast? Something comforting. Go for a shower or a bath and get changed into clean pj's. Spray a little perfume and brush your hair. A nice treat for I've found on a night is having a hot water bottle.
Write down how you feel. This is something I've only just started to do in current bout of depression and it's really help lift the weight.
You can get through this OP. I can't quite see the light but I know I'll be ok with time.

Ok. So you might have to break it all down and deal with it in little pieces

Your DD - not really old enough to understand fully, so try not to take her judgement personally

You BF - he’s apologised, hold fire on anything else at the moment and maybe have some space from him (does he live with you ?)

AD’s - get on the phone tomorrow to the GP

10 days for them to make a difference, you have here, you have your friend ? Talk to them everyday. Talk to us every day. Small steps.

Have a bowl of soup / piece of toast, mars bar... whatever helps.
I agree Try and walk outside for 5 mins

Ten days of distraction needed then? Right now I'd put on a feel-good DVD, make a cuppa and have a few biscuits with it. Once you've made a start on the self-care it can be easier to continue with it. Maybe later you'll feel like having a bath, it might relax you so you sleep better. Do try to eat, even small amounts, not eating does something to your thoughts and makes it harder to be rational. I found the thread on here about getting outside for your mental health was inspiring reading everyone's views. for you, life isn't easy at the moment. If you're living with someone judgemental that could be bringing your mood down. Does DD need to be there?

It really fucks me off on numerous MN threads when someone is unwell, sad or traumatised and is advised to "try and eat something even if it's just something small".
If someone can't eat they can't eat

Ditto telling someone to have a hot sweet drink and snuggle on the sofa. Oh do fuck off.

Going outside ALWAYS improves my mood sometimes lots. I would be a basket case (recently bereaved) if I didn't have a dog making me go out every single day..it's the single biggest help to improving my mood.

Drinking is fine as temporary anaesthetic but makes you feel shittier and lower the next morning

It's OK to not be ok, be strong give your self a break you doing fantastic xx

@joystir59
I was grateful that anyone listened and even telling me to eat showed a level of care towards me that I didn’t have for myself.

Then that's good. That's really good. I hope you can eat something, take a walk, and drink some tea or anything non alcoholic that floats your boat. All the little self care things make us feel.better. they work.

If you can, try taking a shower. Even if you are just sitting on the shower floor with water pouring on you. No need to wash even. Just feel the water.

Or, if you can, put on a coat and walk around your block a little. Fresh air.

Basically anything you can do to get you out of your brain and into your body. I promise it will help, even a little.

I haven't walked the dog in 2 days, she's probably as depressed as me

I am going to cook everyone's favourite dinner soon

I'm holding it in but my anxiety is crippling, I'm watching old ER episodes as it doesn't take any concentration

I would really like to be put to sleep

I feel like you do OP
All I have to worry about is homeschooling
But I just feel so sad sad sad sad

Most people are struggling. You’re not alone. I second getting out and about and making an effort to do some self care etc