Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk

Back to thread
Original poster

PND? Lost bond with baby

2 replies

Strugglingwithmybaby · 03/01/2021 14:08

I loved my baby so much after the birth but it’s now gone, or dulled. I think I’ve just detached from him to the point where I feel anger - real furious rage - when I can’t settle him, and take it personally (I know this is really stupid so don’t point this out!)

I’ve mostly managed to keep a lid on it but I’ve just completely lost it and screamed like a mad woman in frustration. He has been crying and unsettled all morning, when I hold him he tries to clamber up me, clawing at me and himself, banging his head on me.

I’ve obviously scared him as he’s now curled up on my chest.

What is happening to me? And what help is there? I’m guessing none given covid.

Go to post
MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 03/01/2021 20:45

Hi there Struggling,

You poor thing. You sound like you're having a proper time of it. It all sounds very familiar and quite normal, but that's not to say you don't deserve to get the right help and support. There is lots out there and even with Covid, lots of the support lines are running.

Have a look at our page on PND here. There's lots of advice and suggestions there as well as some links to support and help. We'd definitely advice you to speak with a midwife, health visitor or GP and tell them how you're feeling so they can get the ball rolling with some help. We're sure there will be lots more people along soon who've been there and got the t-shirt and can offer you more practical advice.

You're doing a great job at a really difficult time, though. Hang in there. Things do get better and love is definitely something that grows slowly, rather than appears overnight. Flowers

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 03/01/2021 21:20

Hey, Struggling. Yes, that's exactly it. There's just SO MUCH STUFF when you have a baby anyway and your world is turned on its head. (I speak as someone who once talked to people in black cloaks that I knew weren't real, standing in the corners of rooms, about how to stop my newborn crying - so you're definitely not alone). Thinking clearly through the pain and exhaustion is nigh on impossible anyway. And that's all in ''normal times". I can't imagine how going through the newborn phase in a pandemic must be. It all doesn't leave much room for this magic bonding and love that's meant to appear by osmosis.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and seek out and accept all the help you can. You and everyone else with a newborn are making history here. So there's no shame in getting any help at all on offer. Speaking to a GP is definitely a good idea. They'll be able to help you work out if some anti-depressants or other help is the order of the day or if this is something you might just work your way through with a bit of support. Everyone's different and there's no right or wrong but sometimes we need someone else to hold our hand a bit through the most difficult bit.

Watch this thread for updates

Tap "Watch" to get all the latest updates

End of posts

There are no more MNHQ posts on this thread

Back to thread