Please be kind. I’m feeling very low. Don’t want to drip feed so this might be a long post. Please bear with me.
Been married for 10 years. Since first child was born marriage had been going down hill. MIL would walk into our home with spare key, take my daughter out of cot whilst I was in shower. I would panic upon finding cot empty. She would walk into our home at all hours of the day or night. I pleaded with husband to talk to her but he never did. She stopped me from visiting my family since child was born as she “would miss my daughter too much”. She cried when I went away for a weekend as she didn’t get to hold my daughter for 2 days! Husband never stepped in and spoke to her. After many years of this I exploded at her. She calmed down massively this was 7 years ago and since then I’ve had another child. Since I started standing up for myself DH has been distant with me a d stopped sleeping in our bed. We haven’t had sex for 3 years. He’s cold with me and I feel punishes me. Ive cried and asked him to change and be more loving but he has ignored me.
2 weeks ago was 10 year anniversary and we didn’t do anything. Yesterday he surprised me with lovely gifts and said we had a dinner reservation. I was a little shocked and uncomfortable and said I didn’t want to go as kids would be with MIL as she would complain so I suggested we do something as a family. Things were okay but I asked him in car what our plans would be for Xmas and New Years in the car as we were driving and he went crazy saying his mum wants is with her. We fought and just came home.
I know he was trying but I feel hurt after all these years. I have no one to talk to as I pretend everything is good with him. I feel so low. I just don’t know.
I’ve considered suicide as I feel so empty and low all the time. The only thing stopping me is my kids. I just can’t carry on. I know he was trying yesterday and I feel bad