Come and say hi and feel less alone

[abitfunny]

Thought I would start a thread for those of us currently struggling with anxiety/depression/OCD & the many other forms of mental illness during yet another lockdown. Just to say HI, and let’s chat.

I’ve suffered with my mental health since the birth of my son three years ago. Am currently pregnant with #2 and over the last couple of weeks it’s reared it’s ugly head once again. Main issues are obsessive intrusive thoughts, overwhelming anxiety and now to add to the mix, suicidal thoughts. Not sure if they’re a new theme relating to my OCD or I’m just depressed and my mind is tired.

Have had to recommence sertraline which I successfully weaned myself off during the summer, but would rather get it early than end up very unwell after the birth of our next baby. Also meditating every morning, and speaking to close family. Don’t really feel like any of it is helping at the mo, but we’ll see.

So yes, that’s me in a nutshell. Would be nice to speak to others on here who know how I feel!

@Theodoreb

Thank you for the reply.
I honestly don't know what on earth to think or say - I hope I can salvage my life. I just had a phone call for a job interview next week and, I tried to sound upbeat. I hope it worked.
My coping strategies are so deep. I have the crisis teams number - I felt calm and serene when I was talking to them. Not so much anymore. Thanks again for listening .

@teaandcustardcreamsx

Deep breaths and calm thoughts.
I hope you've managed to calm down a little. It really does creep up on us.

@Pinkypie86 try not to worry about the job interview try to focus on getting better and worry about other stuff later.

@Theodoreb

I think I need this though, a sense of normality?
Perhaps I'm not sure what I need.

I find myself staring into space for long periods of time - daydreaming and wishing my life were different .

Took me almost an hour but managed to calm down thankfully. Normally I love working (nursery) and I don’t know what happened! It was song and story time and all the children were just talking and usually I don’t take story time but I did today and now I’m terrified about it happening again

@Pinkypie86 I feel like I do this all the time, normally when in a difficult situation college or socialising

I have signed up to online CBT (free in my county). I have only had one session but I will see how it goes. I think I just need to talk things through with someone to feel less alone, and any coping strategies will be a bonus.

Thats brilliant. I think CBT is a good one for me too.
They've now put me on Citalopram?
I haven't slept in 37 hours.
Any hand holds tonight, ill be around.

@Pinkypie86 Is that due to the citalopram? I have been on citalopram and the first few weeks were difficult, I felt very anxious and sick. But it did get better.

@Dreamingofsunnydays1 No, I spent last night in hospital so didn't sleep and only came out this morning at 6. Definitely no sleep yet.
Its making me feel sick and my head is pounding.
The tears begin to roll again. :/

@teaandcustardcreamsx

I hope you're having a better evening?
Do you know what triggered it? I used to have huge panic attacks - I still have little ones but, they're usually followed by massive lows and intrusive thoughts.

Does anyone feel just weary of carrying the burden of mental illness all the time? Just worn out with it all the time. 50 odd years....😐

How has everyone been?

I'm doing good having a nice break from school and chance to spend time with my dc.

So I tried to pick myself back up, and life just kicks me back down. We were moving house and nearly at exchange. When I got the at risk redundancy thing I panicked but found out as long as we completed before I got the redundancy notice we would be OK. Found out today that our buyers solicitor fucked up and that we won't now complete in time so we are going to have to pull out as we can't risk the mortgage company finding out about the redundancy and pulling our mortgage offer after exchange. We live with a neighbour from hell who plays loud music constantly, stinks out our flat with her weed smell and also abuses us on a daily basis whenever she sees us, so we are stuck here with that.

Then today an outbreak of covid is at nursery so we have to isolate for 10 days which includes Christmas day and so I won't see my mum or my eldest child either now. Life really does fucking suck

@ramblingsonthego that sounds really tough hopefully things will improve for you soon and that this covid will be over.