In my mind most of the time is a voice that just repeats that I am done. It might not be today or tomorrow but sooner or later it’ll happen.
I am so unhappy and I cannot make myself any happier without leaving my dh which would upset him and my dc forever. If I just am not here everyone would be sad for a bit and then it’s over with.
I am so tired. I do things on purpose like not eating or drinking for several days in the hopes of just collapsing and it being taken out of my hands. I hope to catch covid and be unable to fight it because I’m already vulnerable and if I’m not eating either that might help. I have had enough. I am done. I don’t know why I’m posting because I won’t go to the gp as i feel as though I’m a waste of time and money. There are so many humans on the planet, who cares if there’s on less. What a lot of hassle for just one person.
I’m just done.