Please help, I am having a panic attack

[FlightAttendant]

Sorry everyone. I just need to write it all down and get some perspective, as I feel so shaky and like I'm going to be sick.
Have been alone with the boys all day as bigger boy was too tired/still a bit ill for school.
He's been horrid and angry all day, can't help it but it gets to me.
I had a Dss interview/examination yesterday to establish whether I still am depressed enough to get benefit, and it has made me feel horribly vulnerable and afraid in case they decide I'm not when it is all very real to me at present.

I've had a nasty seller disagreeing with a dispute on ebay over a vile, horrible buggy that arrived today, and I'm afraid I'll lose my £50. Plus they gave me a negative in reply to mine.
I can't deal with confrontation and that's why I feel so sick and shaky.

I'm trying to find a parcel I sent that was delivered to the wrong address, but at least my buyer is being nice about that...thank god for tracking.

I'm still alone tonight with both boys and can't seem to get a grip and calm down. It is horrible, they are both being good and sweet at last but I'm just a quivering wreck.

Thankyou if you got this far, just don't know what to do to calm down.

stay here and chat, take some deep breaths

sounds like a grim day

being alone can make me feel a bit strange too, I know how you feel

have you got any rescue remedy??
also if you just let yourself go with it would you have a huge panic attack and then feel better??????
I know thyats what appens with me and is the best option but I know its really hard

breath and stay here and chat

are you able to eat anything? low blood sugar make me feel worse too

Fresh air - come back and chat in a minute, but go and sit on a back doorstep, hang out of a window if you have to for 5 mins and just focus on breathing calmly.

Thanks - I thought nobody was going to answer.
I am trying to hold it together for the boys, I can't lose it, there's no one else. I'm feeling a little better having written it all down, thankyou for reding it. I haven't any rescue remedy, am a cynical cow anyway, my sister tried to give me some and I didn't have enough belief for it to work I don't think

Bigger boy knows I'm in trouble. He's playing up again, I just want to be Ok for him. He gets worried

Little one is just feeding, he's getting a load of adrenalin fuelled breast milk but at least he's not crying. God he's a good baby.

I will go out in the garden with big boy. he likes fresh air.

At least the buggers with the pushchair aren't sending me hateful emails any more. I just fall apart when someone's angry with me, whether I deserve it or not.

Back in a minute...hopefully

hope you enjoy your fresh air
I know what you mean about angry people, I can't cope with people being nasty or angry with me, I start spinning into a panic

chin up, I'm sending you lots of calm vibes

I'm like that too - even if I knew I was going to upset someone, I then hate them being upset with me and upset in general

Me too, I can't stand confrontation, it goes round and round my head. It sounds rubbish, but lavender oil is really really calming (it physically relaxes all the tense muscles).

would it be easier to resell the pushchair

even if you lose some money on it

deep breaths

hot sweet tea

cheese on toast

works for me !!!

I know a couple of people who've had those Dss interviews and they're really horrible - no wonder you feel shaky.

also don't worry about EBAY seller - same thing happened to a friend of mine - anyone who looks up your history will see that your negative has only been given because you werent happy with the seller - looks far worse on the seller than you.

Have you a book. magazine, craft, hobby or something to do that is non stressful but will help to take your mind off things?

Back now. Big boy is great. fdhghp;;ll>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

(Big boy having a go at typing!)

Oh dear, well yes I guess I could sell it but it really is so horrid, I'd have to go and pour water all over it outside before I could even approach it to wash etc.

The seats are all worn, nearly worn through, it's covered in muck and the hood rolls from side to side. It has threads hanging off it.

I am just so angry that they lied to me, over and over...I pray that paypal takes the emails into account when they decide.

Sooo nasty. I have not to take it personally but it feels like an attack on me, someone thinking they could just lie so much to me.

Breathing, breathing...

oh that is horrible, so they sold you a piece of tat ? bummer

hope it gets sorted

take it easy, and be kind to yourself, we are all allowed off days

darling, you cannot take it personally, they don;t know you , as the sweet lovely person that you are, they just see you as a buyer, totally impersonal and that is why they are behaving like this, they would do so with anyone, it just so happens to be you, IFYSWIM?

Yes, it is a bit like being burgled or something, the anger sort of overwhelms you, you feel so violated.

God I know it's only a 50 quid pushchair but that money is important to us. I hate the fact that people can just lie and lie and lie, and not seem to feel bad about it?

Thankyou for being there, it has helped a lot just to share all this with people who are kind and willing to listen. You are all so great

Hope you are feeling a bit better, have you got a glass of wine handy?

Thanks - no, I never really drink, only one on duty round here

but I did manage to speak to my mum for a minute, which helped a bit. Will be seeing her tomorrow.

I have chocolate in the house but I think it will make me worse, usually does...caffeine and all that.

Am going to go and watch Harry potter with Ds1 before he stats typing on here again

I might have to come back on here later, cannot foresee much sleep.

flightAttendant, I'm in a panic now too - my dh's cousin has jusst turned up unannounced on the doostep (he lives in Cambridge, we live in Edinburgh!). apparently he emailed us but we didnt get it! He is staying two nights.......cue, what can we rustle up for dinner, better change the sheets etc. Added to which house stinks as ds threw up couple of hours ago all over living room carpet........

(Know this is nothing to do with op, just wanted to make you smile!)

Can't add anything, but just hope you feel better and calmer soon.

I have to laugh now, thankyou!

I just spoke to the sweetest 51 year old man at paypal call centre. He was cool and American and told me he was going to send me a massager or something, hat I sounded so nice and he would come and do my back if he could!

That ahs cheered me up and worth a 15 minute wai on hold!!!
Sounded quite reassuring about the claim.

FA is no longer in complete meltdown, just partial!

He sounds like a nice man!

Girls I just got confirmation from paypal that I'm eligible for a refund! But am now having another panic because there is a new email from the b**tard waiting for me in my inbox and I cannot open it, feel sick, am scared he is going to be really nasty.

That's the b*tard seller, not the sweeeet guy at paypal

glad to hear about the refund

do you HAVE to open to email? (sorry if that is a stupid question).