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How often do you think of suicide?

117 replies

Mermaidwithoutacause · 11/10/2020 16:04

I was talking to a friend about how someone we knew had sadly tried to kill themselves and she said it had never crossed her mind once, in her entire life to do so, even in really difficult times.

I think about it a lot. I assumed everyone did. I know how. I know what preparations I’d make. It’s often in my mind.

Is this not the norm? I’m genuinely asking here. I assumed everyone gave this some thought.

OP posts:
justanotherneighinparadise · 11/10/2020 17:36

Well then report of my thoughts upset you.

SpookyNoise · 11/10/2020 17:37

Often. At least once a day. It would mean I don’t have to go back to work.

PamDemic · 11/10/2020 17:37

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Yorkshirelass04 · 11/10/2020 17:37

A couple of times a year and I have researched it too. I'm ok, I just think being alive is overrated sometimes.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 11/10/2020 17:38

Every day. Barely an hour goes by. I know how I would do it, I know where to get what I need, where I would do it and have written notes to anyone I have anything to say to.

PurplePansy05 · 11/10/2020 17:41

Regularly. It used to be every few months when I was younger. Then I went few years without thinking about it. These were happy years. Then these thoughts returned, every few months and now it's probably on a fortnightly basis. Exacerbated by baby loss and lockdown, some other personal issues. Today I've been thinking about it a lot, Baby Loss Awareness Week and several pregnancy announcements have trigerred me. I often wonder if this is depression.

I spoke about this to a close friend of mine. He's made of stern stuff and so was I... or so we thought. He admitted that about 5 years ago he was rock bottom and suicidal. He thinks about suicide regularly since then.

I believe there's a difference between feeling low and thinking about it and going to the lengths of practically planning it, and finally actually doing it. From speaking to numerous friends and family members over the years, my conclusion is that most people go through at least a phase in their lives when they consider suicide. It really doesn't matter how happy you look on the outside or how strong you are. I think some people don't experience these thoughts, but most will be hit with them at some point throughout their lives. For example, traumatic experiences definitely can bring these thoughts on at some point.

Not many of us will actually act on them, though.

36pregnant · 11/10/2020 17:45

What’s the point of thinking of suicide. Why is my brain considering it? It’s just another sign of weakness I have. It’s so stupid. I wish I could go through with it.

user128472578267 · 11/10/2020 17:47

It is normal in the face of suffering, actually.

And you do not know anything about my life to claim it is precious or that my suffering is a temporary problem.

AlexaShutUp · 11/10/2020 17:50

I'm sorry for all those who are thinking about this at the moment. I hope that things will get better for you soon.Flowers

MiniMum97 · 11/10/2020 17:54

Most days. You know it's not normal though. I don't think it ever crosses the mind of the majority.

tempj998 · 11/10/2020 17:56

I’ve thought about it seriously while in deep depression a few times and so I think now it is just ingrained and I think about it a lot. I have an idea of how. Even when I’m not suicidal if something happens or I’m in a terrible mood it comes into my mind automatically. I can dismiss it though.

tempj998 · 11/10/2020 17:57

Also, 1 in 5 think amount killing them selves. 1 in 15 attempt it.

Dollywilde · 11/10/2020 18:00

I’d say I’m in a permanent state of one of the following:

  1. Worrying about dying - because of my anxiety
  2. Thinking ‘I hate living, I wish I could just not exist for a bit’
  3. Actively ideating

1 is my normal state of being thanks to generalised anxiety disorder. When my anxiety is really bad, I hit 2.

3 has only been in my worst times - maybe one period of it every couple of years or so.

PurplePansy05 · 11/10/2020 18:03

I saw those stats (1/5, 1/15). I am not convinced whether people were honest in their answers. There seems to be a stigma, a taboo that we should never talk about suicide or about having suicidal thoughts because it's so...awful?/weird?/awkward?/contagious? People have some strange views IMO.

Whereas I think this is actually very human to think about it and if we stop making out it's a monster never to be spoken about, there will be far less suicides. There really is no shame in thinking about it and talking about it. It can help just when it's needed most.

bingowingsmcgee · 11/10/2020 18:09

Never. Even though I've had depression as long as I could remember. Self harm at the worst, but never suicide.

june2007 · 11/10/2020 18:11

For those who are in a bad place. Their is help out their reach out for it. Speak to your GP, phone samaritans, talk to a trusted friend.

Butterer · 11/10/2020 18:11

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DrDreReturns · 11/10/2020 18:14

Twice in my life when I've been under a lot of stress.

tempj998 · 11/10/2020 18:19

I wish I had an in person support group I could go to to discuss things like this. Like AA I guess but for these kind of thoughts. Even when I am in a good place I sometimes get difficult thoughts around suicide that I’d like to talk about with other people who feel similar

Butterer · 11/10/2020 18:25

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BiBabbles · 11/10/2020 18:26

It's been a while since I've thought of it in the present, so long that I can't recall the last time, which really surprised me when I considered the title. All my recent thinking on it has involved considering how child-me wrestled with it - I started having suicidal ideation when I was 9, still remember that first time with a bit of bittersweet nostalgia - rather than something to do now.

I've never had desire to go with ideas, just reflex thoughts. Like in , it's long been like an emergency light I see out of the corner of my eye - I know it's there, but never really been bad enough to move towards it much beyond some bad habits. I grew up knowing some, including my mother, thought the world would be better off without me and sometimes I think a large part of why I've never had the desire for it is spite - like the song Can't Please Em All (by hi i'm case), the best revenge against those who want you dead is to live until you're ahead.

Discussing suicidal thoughts is not promoting suicide anymore than discussing PTSD flashbacks promotes trauma. It is important to recognize that rumination is harmful and the emotional care techniques for dealing with that -- having go to distractions that last at least a few minutes that doesn't encourage different rumination (quick games and music are popular recommendations, but the latter doesn't work for me, I tend to disassociate more with most music), but comparing it proana where people are actively encouraging others to harm to me is basically saying that mentally ill people shouldn't talk about what we've been through, are going through, that we're a risk to others and as if not talking about it is going to make it go away. It really doesn't and many gain strength from seeing this as something others live with and through.

Some problems are permanent - I'm never going to have a mother that wants me, I'm never going to live without pain or be fully 'healthy' again, I will live with brain damage from child abuse for the rest of my life, I will have this condition with occasional muscle weakness and muscle paralysis and so on (probably best not to use the consequences of suicide as things some already live with) - and honestly, the idea of life being precious has never helped me, that kind of rhetoric is used by too many anti-abortion groups to ring well for me.

Accepting my reality, my bad days along with the good, accepting any thoughts that I am conscious of as my own that I can consider, reject, do with as I wish with them, ensuring I've emotional first aid and care as part of my lifestyle, building forward - these do so much more to let my emergency light has faded.

Butterer · 11/10/2020 18:27

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Everywherethatmarywent · 11/10/2020 18:28

A friend blurred out the other day that they have daily thoughts of driving their car in to a wall and killing them selves. I think they have anxiety which is presenting as intrusive thoughts

goalpostmover · 11/10/2020 18:29

Most days, but I know I wouldn't go through with it. It's almost like one of my 'options' if that makes sense, along with running away.

myhobbyisouting · 11/10/2020 18:30

Never.