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Utterly depressed

7 replies

mumfromafar · 30/09/2020 10:40

Cutting a long story short, I went to rehab in May to recover from alcohol and drug addiction after my metal health spiraled out of Control. My ex took my children and I started taking drugs to cope. Fast forward to 3 in ths in rehab, I left full of hope. Stupidly I went back to my bf who is also an alcoholic as I thought he was also maintaining his sobriety. Safe to say this didn't go well and I ended up relapsing, we had a huge fight, I tried to kill myself and got sectioned. I went back to rehab for a week until they found me a place in a dry house, miles away from my home and family. I feel utterly depressed and miserable. I hate being here, I cry every day for my babies and for my ex even though I know it was toxic. To make things worse he got back in touch and said he wanted to try again and he was sorry and we decided to do long distance until we both had a good period of sobriety under our belts. The next day he change his mind and I'm left heartbroken and alone again, I am the one that ended it after he said he wasn't sure as everyone said it would never work but I'm still broken. Every day I sit and wait for the day to end. I joined NA, I do meetings, I pray, I try and do things for others but nothing helps. I know it's early days (almost 30 days) but I see no light at the end of the tunnel, I want to see my children and family. I have no friends, we are on lockdown so I can't volunteer, I am unable to work and I am just fed up of not having a life. Sorry for the long post but I am just lost and don't know how to cope. Thanks.

OP posts:
mumfromafar · 30/09/2020 16:58

Anyone?

OP posts:
notthemum · 30/09/2020 18:14

Well done on (almost) 30 days. I don't know what an addiction feels like but I do know how it feels to be so low. I am here if you would like to chat. Tell me about you.
How old are your children ? If you don't want to talk or want to talk about something g else that's fi ne too. 💐

notthemum · 30/09/2020 19:42

Are you OK ?

notthemum · 30/09/2020 21:43

Mumsnet. Any way you can check to make sure Mumfromafar is OK.?

HebeMumsnet · 30/09/2020 21:59

Hi there OP,

Well done on your progress so far Flowers. We just wanted to pop by to say we're really pleased to see you've had some support on this thread. And if you wanted to start any other threads, there are lots of people who've been where you are now posting on our addiction support boards too.

All the best, MNHQ

Boredof2020 · 30/09/2020 22:06

30 days bloody brilliant, feel proud of your self, and keep going every day is a new day.
How old are you children?

mumfromafar · 01/10/2020 09:14

They are 9 and 5 and I miss them so much. I know I'm doing the right thing but I just feel so low. Every day is a battle to get through, I just wait for it to end.

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