I’ve name changed.
My life has been awful. My childhood was filled with abuse. I was abused by a teacher at school. No one listened and belittled all my cry’s for help. No one believed what I was going through and I was never able to heal. I suffered from PTSD but no one would acknowledge there had been the stress in the first place.
This messed up my life. I was assaulted in my late teens by someone I went on a date with. Another girl set it up for us to be alone so he could attack me. But as I hated my home life so much I didn’t stand up for myself because being associated with this guy and his friends gave me an opportunity to get away from my passed.
I then messed up at uni because I was so fucked up from my schooling and personal life.
I’m angry that my education suffered, I’m angry that I’ve messed my life up, I’m angry that I’m stuck in an awful life when others around me were able to live a proper life, get an education and earn proper money. My cousins were sent to one of the best schools in the country and I was sent to some local school to be abused.
I’m now 40 and in a crap job and in an awful relationship with a man who behaves like a child. I have to take responsibility for everything. We are living in a small flat that I bough when I was single. We had a plan to move into a bigger home within the next 2 years but it turns out he has nothing in savings! So I’m going to be stuck in this tiny flat forever!
So now that I’ve came to accept that this is going to be what my life is. AIBU to want to end it now. Or do you think I should suffer for another 40+ years?