How to recover from breakdown / MH crisis?

[Brokendownshire]

Can someone please help me?

I am in the midst of the most awful time in my life. I am so depressed I can barely cook dinner.

I have a lovely family and an amazing husband who is very worried about me.

I have been honest with my GP who suggested self referring for talking therapy. Which I did and it was awful. It didn’t help at all. I am only anti anxiety meds but only Propranolol 10mg.

My feelings seem to be fear / flight or fight / panic.

I know why this is and it’s irrational so I need to get rid of my thoughts. The trigger is situational but we can’t afford to make a change e.g sell and buy another house

Can anyone give me any advice? I am trying mindfulness etc. I have tried to take my own life many many years ago and I am worried.

I wake up every single day in panic. I rush to the toilet to be sick - every single day.

I'm sorry to hear things are hard for you, it sounds very painful. I didn't find any quick fixes, it just takes time. I needed therapy, painful, long term, uncomfortable, therapy. Could you try therapy again? And also focus on what you can do, any small thing is positive and on days when everything feels too hard then try and be compassionate with yourself. You can get through this but you may need to get help and support. Please reach out. And try and write things out if you can. Good luck.

I'm so sorry that you're stuck in that hell today. Please know there is hope and that this will pass. If you can afford it look for a therapist. There's one out there that can help you, don't be put off! It's important that you try to understand what's causing your anxiety and to learn coping strategies to deal with it. In the meantime try and be kind to yourself, a bit of compassion, don't be beating yourself up. Write a journal. Exercise a bit if you can. Look after yourself, I really mean that! Lean on the support around you and know that this too will pass. Good luck to you.

Thanks everyone. I booked in with a therapist for next week but I feel especially broken today

How old are you, op?

I’m 35.

I feel too anxious to eat dinner today. I feel very sick

My Gp just wasn’t interested in my feelings at all - so I’ve requested a new doctor

Yep, I remember forcing food down just because I knew I had to have something. Try and eat just a little if you can. That's a good plan about changing your GP, and also very assertive so give yourself a pat on the back for that. This time will pass. It will be shitty and painful but it will pass.

I think you should consider peri-menopause/hormonal issues. You are not too young as peri can last well beyond a decade and can cause extreme, debilitating anxiety, especially first thing in the morning. I would see a specialist in gynae and an endocrinologist.

Here's an excellent article which may help...

i.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/113666670/perimenopause-lead-up-to-menopause-very-uncomfortable-and-poorly-understood

Leafy when will it pass? :( i can’t stop crying. It’s an awful awful way to feel.

I feel like I’m stuck in fight or flight mode

@Aquamarine1029 wow that’s amazing. Am I allowed to ask for a referral on the NHS?

Talking about it is helping x

You can ask for a referral and hope for the best, but the NHS is notoriously shit when dealing with peri and menopause treatment. I went private and it was the best thing I ever did.

My peri started at 40 with various, very minor symptoms. At 42, it was like being struck by lightening with absolutely crippling anxiety which I had never had before. It was horrific and I was terrified. I thought I was losing my mind. Within a couple of months after doing my own research, I knew it was peri, and it was. I went private, got on HRT, and the difference was immediate. I got my life back 100%. I'm 47 now and still feel wonderful.

I also highly recommend the book DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks by Barry McDonagh. Get it digitally so you can have it on your phone and tablet. It is a real eye opener.

I know how scary anxiety is, but you do not have to be afraid of it. It won't hurt you. All it is is a build up of cortisol levels in your blood that aren't getting burned off. That's all. You are not mentally ill or "crazy." It helps A LOT to stay active. Cleaning, dancing, walking, etc. Sitting still is the worst thing you can do.

My previous GP (assuming I have a new one now) would laugh in my face if I told him about that article. He’d tell me to go and get a manicure and relax

@Aquamarine1029 thank you! Very insightful.

I feel paralysed by it. Literally cannot move as I’m too frightened

Literally cannot move as I’m too frightened

I'm sorry, that's such an awful feeling that I remember very well. However, you CAN get up. Just DO it. Get up, move any way you can for as long as you can. Really push yourself and you will come out the other side. You must burn off that cortisol to relieve your anxiety. Do whatever it takes to get moving even if you have to ask Your husband to help steady you. That's what I did and his help got me through it.

@Brokendownshire. I hear you. I know how terrifying it feels right now and I can't give you an end time or date. I would have sold my right arm to anyone who could have told me that as well. It just will. I promise you. But unfortunately you have to lean into what is happening in the short term to get through this. You can do this. Keep writing here if it helps. Everything that is coming up for you needs to come up and it will one way or another. You are ok. You're not alone. x

Thank you so much. The more I type the more I cry.

The more I read the more I cry but feel relief!

Would antidepressants work for my low mood?

The problem with doctors pushing ad's for women with peri or hormonal issues is that ad's rarely work. If peri is your problem, you need HRT, not ad's. Ad's can also have many adverse side effects that make things worse. Do a lot of research, op and be your own best advocate.

You have the wrong GP. You need to change. If necessary change practices completely.

You are depressed and anxious - it is an illness - you have history - you need proper treatment. I know only too well that loving family cannot mend this any more than they can mend a broken leg.

Probably a combination of drug and talking therapies would be needed. Propranalol will not stop you feeling depressed, and this is clearly one element of your illness.

Your GP sounds an idiot. You need someone who understands the nature of mental illness and helps to make you feel validated, not demeaned. He needs a kick up the pants. People feeling anxious and depressed find it hard to stand up for themselves and can very easily cave in under this sort of dismissal. It makes me so very cross.

You are ill - you have not chosen this - you need treatment - it is not your fault. You are a wife and Mum who needs to be made better. You matter.

Anti depressants DO work - I know this. But only a proper medical practitioner with a proper understanding of mental illness can decide what is right for you. It may be that you do not need them; it may be that you do. No-one on a website can decide that.

I’m sorry things are so hard for you right now. I’d definitely recommend changing/increasing your medication. I found Flouxetine worked brilliantly for me. You don’t need to put up with feeling like this, there will be a way out and your doctor should be proactive in helping you to quickly find what it is. Xxx

Here's another article, op, that applies to peri as well. This is exactly what the specialist I went to informed me about. IF your problems are hormonally related, ad's may not be the proper course of action.

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/menopause-antidepressants-symptoms-worse-hrt-shortage-a9148951.html

Firstly, sorry things are so bloody horrible and hard right now

Secondly, I think you need to change GP as soon as possible. You need a GP who will listen to you and treat you, they do exist and the one you have currently sounds dreadful.

What kind of talking therapy did you try? From what you've written it sounds as though CBT could be helpful? GP can refer you and in some areas you can self refer for 6-8 sessions. Definitely worth speaking to a decent GP about antidepressants and about whether propranolol is working for you.

Have you tried any breathing exercises/techniques? Have a quick google, there's lots to try. It sounds like a very flimsy intervention when it feels like the world is on fire, but it works. When we are anxious we increase our breathing rate and take in too much oxygen, this leads to the physiological symptoms of anxiety - the increased heart rate, shaking, sweating, palpitations etc. The physical symptoms in turn make us feel more anxious, and we get stuck in a vicious cycle of the fight or flight you describe. It's horrendous. Breathing exercises and slowing your breathing throughout the day regularly, can counter balance the physical symptoms and give you some reprieve from that feeling of impending physical doom. This can give you the room to think a bit more calmly and function a little more. Best practiced regularly throughout the day, as the increased breathing can be insidious, a few extra breaths a minute adds up over the hours.

Thank you everyone. Have a new GP at a new GP surgery. I phoned up yesterday to cancel a duplicate appointment and the receptionist was so hostile she made me feel even worse. In the end I realised I was too afraid to phone the entire surgery and my Dr had been shite for 6 years.

I reached out for help with PND and he didn’t help me - instead he told me to plonk DS in nursery to get some routine.

He’s such a nice human. But a terribly inefficient doctor.

Anyway, I have filled in the forms for the new Doctor and fingers crossed they’ll be lovely.

I’m on the bottom rung of the ladder - the only way is up.

Has anyone got any advice about how to get rid of a lump in the throat from anxiety?

I’m actually 100% it’s my glands or my actual throat / neck / thyroid that’s inflamed but I’m aware that high anxiety causes globus sensation.