I need to talk, is anyone there? Wish my life was over

[Piecespolly]

I’m not coping. I’m having counselling, I have friends. My family are a bit shit sometimes but they are there. But I’m not ok.

I can’t sleep. Been to gp. I can’t stop crying. I feel like I have no future. I lost my partner and my pregnancy last year. This year I’ve all but lost my job and on reduced pay. I’ve not met anyone new and it makes me feel like my chances for a family are gone.

I’ve given up. I’m supposed to be working now and I can’t even get out of the bed. I take anti depressants. Nothing works. I am broken.

Oh love. How sad to read. I think maybe you need to try to get to the GP to change your medication.

I didn’t want to read and run OP you poor thing I’m deeply sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. After the shock of last year for you and all of the upheaval that 2020 has brought I can imagine how hard this might be for you.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low OP. Condolences on your loss.

I think we need to take it one step at a time here. Your anti depressants are evidently, not working, can you make another GP appointment to discuss? How long have you been on them? Sometimes they need adjusting or changing until you find something that works.

Please get a GP appointment asap. It's important for you to get all the help available to you. If something isn't working then they can adjust it.

So sorry to read this, I would defo try and get a GP appointment. Take all the time you need.

You poor thing. You've had such a lot to cope with.

It can get better, honestly. Go back to your GP to check your ADs and talk to your counsellor.

Sometimes therapy can make you feel rather worse before you feel better especially as you have to face very painful feelings.

Just hang in there.

Contacted my parents and said I don’t want to be here. Asked them to come over. They said they are looking at a car this afternoon so they can’t. Nobody cares if I am dead or alive

hiya. i'm 17 and although that is incredibly young... i have experienced so much loss and i've been extremely depressed in my life to the point of being put in the psych ward. this is a deep dark hole that seems impossible to escape fully. but trust me... there is always a way to live.. a way that you will enjoy. the fact you reached out for help shows that within you there's this huge will to live. you will be happy eventually and go back to having good and bad days like normal. i've lost a best friend to suicide when i was 14 and it still affects the hell out of me. it may seem like no one wants you around but they really, really do. it is not just your life... the people around you share that life no matter how close they are to you. you are important. every life is important. i promise you just waiting it out will give results. you may get worse and worse but as long as you stay alive you'll realise how impossible it is to live when you're in this deep darkness. you'll force yourself to feel better. i love you x

Thank you. I just can’t cope with reaching out to my family and having that response. I have nobody who cares. Even my parents.

Can you ask a friend to come over @Piecespolly?

How do you feel about calling the Gp today?

Sorry you are feeling low op do you have any friends or siblings you could contact
Call you gp to arrange an appointment and speak to your counsellor

We are all alone really - in that there are no guarantees. One day you won't have parents around, so it's important to develop inner resources to get through sad times and emotional challenges.
I really think you should ask for an urgent appointment online with your GP today and tell him/her exactly what you told us. This has been an exceptionally stressful year. Ask for help from the professionals and don't expect much from parents. It will get better.

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way OP. Are you able to call your GP and speak to them or have an urgent appointment with your counsellor?

Also, the Samaritans are always there to listen www.samaritans.org/wales/how-we-can-help/if-youre-having-difficult-time/

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves emotionally to another poster than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

I just feel I have nobody. Nobody cares if I am dead or alive. I wish my life was over.

I feel so scared. I don’t want to live a future it makes me feel sick.

@Piecespolly Sorry to read you are feeling like this, & I am so sorry for your loss. I can only echo what others have said & get an appt with your GP. Even one over the phone may help to change your medication. Does your counsellor do emergency sessions?
Hang on in there

I can’t see it getting better. How can it? I have no family that care. I am alone and single. My friends are here for me but live far away. I am so alone.

Can you call a friend OP and talk to them? Please think about reaching out to a friend or the Samaritans

I've been there. Awful feeling that it will never get better. But it can and will! It may not seem like it right now but it will.
Practical things that helped me were:

1. Even if it's the last thing thing you want to do - get out for a brisk walk every day.
2. Counselling - you may need to try a couple, I didn't "gel" with the first one
3. Accepting that it's ok to feel like this
4. Making small changes to your life to try and meet new people. Loneliness makes things 10x worse.

It was a slow steady process but eventually I came out the other side.
Please keep talking to us here x

And in the nicest possible way.... forget about your parents. They clearly don't understand the seriousness of this. A lot of people in that generation don't. You need to find a support network that understands. Is there a pregnancy loss support group that you are part of? If not, look for one on social media. You may find a lot of other people in the same boat as you.

Thanks for the messages. I cannot see a way forward at all. I’m just sitting here. Haven’t moved for hours or eaten and i just feel frozen. Everything feels dreadful.

Thank you for replying xx

I think with my parents it is just another thing that’s hit me like I don’t matter. It’s not the main thing by any stretch but it’s part of a long list of things where I feel awful.

@Piecespolly

Thanks for the messages. I cannot see a way forward at all. I’m just sitting here. Haven’t moved for hours or eaten and i just feel frozen. Everything feels dreadful.

Thank you for replying xx

I know, it's shit, Ive felt like this loads of times but it won't last forever.

There is a mental health text service called Shout - have you contacted them?

How long have you been on the antidepressants? It could be that your dose needs adjusting.

Please speak to the GP when you can x

@Piecespolly
It will not always be like this. You have endured what sounds like a horrendous time and it would leave anyone feeling paralysed. Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself the patience and understanding that this is normal and you will get through it.
It will get better in time but please keep talking to us on here, call Samaritans and reach out to your friends. And keep going to see your gp.
I care whether you live or die. Your parents do too. They clearly just don’t understand.
Here is a huuuuuuge hug ❤️
A massive virtual bunch of flowers and your hand is being held.
Get on the phone now to gp and Samaritans
💐💐💐💐💐💐
XxxXxx