That really. I just don't want to keep living anymore. I have kids and they are the only reason I keep going, but I feel like I totally fail them and I'm not good enough. I'm deeply unhappy, I cry regularly. I can't stand hearing other people talk about their lives - the ordinariness of their lives. I've just had enough. I can't bear to keep living like this. I can't see a way to improve it. I have fantasies about my children dying so I can die too. I spoke to a psychologist about my son yesterday and she spoke about getting me support to. She said she would phone me back but she hasn't.
I've just had enough. I just have.