Health anxiety

[Mvshrln]

Hi all,

I've seen a couple of health anxiety threads on here but they're all quite old/inactive and wondered if there were any more recent ones, or if anyone fancied discussing it via this new thread? It's helpful when someone else knows how you feel.

I really struggle with HA, the thoughts bounce around my head until I fixate on one and worry about it relentlessly. I can see why the anxiety has appeared (friends parent passed away, the covid-19 situation has terrified me, I'm getting older/have life events happening like buying a house, and I also work within the hospice sector). It's helpful to know why but it doesn't help with how to deal with it! I'm currently taking venlafaxine and CBT counselling via videocall but the worry takes up huge chunks of my day.

Nightmare! How is everyone else?

@tmh88 Morning! I had an on and off night, stupidly was googling all things about increased umbilical cord pressure before I went to sleep so was worrying about baby! Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish, hopefully you'll feel a bit better as day goes on, I think with congestion you always feel worse in a morning and on a night.

@chorusline79 Glad you had a decent sleep, the muscle relaxation sounds good, I will mention it to my therapist on Friday. Hope your back pain eases a bit once you get up and moving about.

@Goolies I know, I am looking forward to meeting him/her now although worrying it may be sooner than I planned depending on how scans go!
It's funny how we all think alike about things! most people love a long soak in the bath but it genuinely fills me with dread!!

@Goolies progressive muscle relaxation is where you tense and then relax the muscles in your body - the idea being that physical relaxation induces mental relaxation. I use a guided one as part of my CBT - if you google progressive muscle relaxation you will find them on YouTube or similar. I was very skeptical but i think it is helping me so thought it would be worth sharing in case it helps others on here. I find that the insomnia is one of the worst problems as when I'm shattered I'm much sketchier in general!

@Lib3rtine Thankyou. Going to try a bit of upper back yoga to stretch it out as DH has agreed to do school run this am!
Hope you feel better this am and less anxious, and catch up on some rest today. x

@chorusline79 thank you, I’m feeling a bit better now I’m up and about! I’ll have a look into that muscle relaxation I get bad neck/shoulder pain.

@Goolies I have been put back on full time furlough (as of last week) which is really hard for me as I have too much time to think now! Forced myself out for a walk in rain this morning with 3 year old which was nice and I feel better for it now! Just don’t wanna start slipping back into constant worries!

@Lib3rtine sorry to hear about your googling session! It’s so easily done isn’t it! It does very much scare you more! Try not to worry, I was told there was a chance or placenta privea (if that’s how it’s spelt) at 20 weeks but it did correct itself! Had I of not gone for that scan I wouldn’t of known so I think a lot gets caught when you have extra scans that usually wouldn’t be!

[quote Goolies]@Mvshrln this is the thing, I had a clear mammogram 2 years ago and here I am again back at square one. What did your full MOT thing include? I’m also worried about my heart and would love to get checked out by a cardiologist but again... how long will it be till I find the next thing, probably not long at all! But then I think it’s the one I ignore that will be the one that gets me, then I panic and befor I know it I’m on my own little planet hell.

Sometimes I wonder if I had another child would I be calmer, I worry because my son is an only child, hunny doesn’t do half the things I do for him, who would he have etc etc. Just can’t seem to get that peace of mind. I have signed up to private therapy that will start in January. But god knows how many things I will worry about between now and then! X[/quote]
@Goolies yes exactly - the anxiety just keeps coming back. My health MOT included the same as @PowerslidePanda described. That's exciting that you've signed up for therapy next month - it really will be beneficial! Your "little planet of hell" comment made me smile as it resonates so much with me although of course I am sorry you are feeling like that. We all live on that little planet of hell together though, so at least we are not alone xx

@PowerslidePanda google is soo horrid sometimes. At my health MOT the doctor said how he hoped google/the internet would start becoming moderated in a way that stops the spread of unhelpful health information.
Omg a cyst within the bone! How was that diagnosed? How was it treated? I had my leg MRI yesterday and have an appointment to discuss it with the doctor on Monday. They provided me with a copy of the images on a disc - I've resisted looking at them cos I'll not be able to understand it and will jump to conclusions.

[quote Lib3rtine]@Mvshrln I really think that is what it will be. I think from what I've read before bone cancer is pretty rare and you would have other symptoms and probably have broken a bone really easily. Plus like we've said when you think about an area long enough you notice every single sensation and feeling that's going on there.

I know what you mean about it being a double edged sword, you are completely right, it would satisfy me initially and then I'd be back to square one. Plus my husband wouldn't be happy as he'd think it was just fuelling my anxiety and wasting money.

I was only at the breast clinic in June and they did a full examination and showed me how to do it so I wasn't pressing on too hard and feeling every single bump and natural lump in the tissue, so I should be satisfied that I can spot something untoward but I just can't seem to be. I can't find anywhere near me that would do a private ultrasound as screening if you hadn't actually found a lump so I think I will just have to try and get over the fear and hope CBT helps.
I am the same, I can have days where I think I am doing ok but that low level anxiety will latch onto any single thing. I have a spot on my neck and its literally just a spot but yesterday when I was tired I started thinking about what else it could be rather than just accepting it for what it is [/quote]
@Lib3rtine thank you xx Since the MRI I've felt increasingly on edge. And yes, your husband is right I reckon! It does fuel the anxiety and provide the temporary relief before the mind is like I want MORE reassurance! Anxiety seems to crop up when we are tired - maybe it's a sign to redirect the energy/attention we would focus on a health thing, to something more beneficial like self care? Early nights, hot bubble baths/showers, a nice tv show.. I should practice what I preach lol.

@Goolies

I totally know what you mean *@Lib3rtine* even on the days I’m ok the low level anxiety is still lurking around in the background just waiting to latch onto something. The other day I felt a bump on the back of my head while I was working my DH had to reassure me it’s just my skull! It will literally latch onto anything!! And once it does here we go... x

Lurking is such a perfect way to describe it! It's ALWAYS there, just lurking! I guess it's a case of learning to live with the lurk and finding a way to make space for it but not be consumed by it...

I hope everyone is okay, and thank you for your kind messages and just general niceness over my bone worry xx I'm struggling to focus on work today - I think I need to seriously reconsider my job. It's an excellent job but working in the hospice sector has been a huge trigger for my health anxiety and I think I'm fighting a losing battle with trying to manage it. It was the same when I worked in mental health - my anxiety/depression got worse and I began to convince myself I had various personality disorders due to reading about them so often. But then, if I move to a different sector I'll end up latching on to that as well, so really I need to address the root cause.

I really hope everyone is okay xx

Morning everyone. Lurking is a great way to describe it!

Hope you are all doing well this morning.

@Mvshrln fingers crossed for the results of your MRI, well done for not checking the images, like you say you won’t know what you are looking at and if it were me I would probably convince myself that something perfectly normal is really bad!

@Lib3rtine sorry you had a rough night, late stage pregnancy is a very worrying time but you don’t have long to go now and I’m sure baby would be fine even if they did make an early appearance! Hopefully next weeks scan will bring you some more reassurance.

Must check out the muscle relaxation technique, that sounds interesting for when I can’t sleep.

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone, having a bit of a stressful morning, having to sort out cars and servicing etc to work around work/school runs 😡

@MrsWhites yep I mean I am tempted but it would spark a painfully long google spiral. I wish the people who did the MRI could've given me my results. The doctor only works at that clinic on Monday's so I've got to wait until then :( Haven't told anyone else I've had it done either.

You'll have to let us know how you get on with the muscle relaxation technique - think I'll give it a go too. Hopef your afternoon is less stressful than your morning xx

@Mvshrln got everything crossed you get your results soon from your MRI horrible waiting isn’t it!

Had a bad day today! I keep worrying they might of missed something in my ultrasound, deep down I know they won’t of but at the same time I panic! I really hope when I start this therapy in January it helps me!

I know it’s the anxiety talking but unfortunately today the irrational side of my brain is taking over

@Mvshrln hope you are ok, waiting is horrible but sure all will be ok and hopefully Monday comes quickly. I can see it must be so hard in your line of work.

@tmh88 i know it's hard but you have had them thoroughly checked so v v unlikely anything would be missed. I know it's easy for me to say and I worry too but try to distract. How are you feeling now?

@tmh88 what therapy is it you're having?

@chorusline79 just talking to start with then she’s figuring out a proper plan she’s wondering if it could be something I’m latching on too for control reasons as everything else is quite uncertain for me at the minute job/money wise! I’m feeling ok now spoke to my brother earlier so I’ve made some plans to go on walks with him next week as I’m back on furlough again I think too much time at home isn’t helping me at the minute. Thank you for responding it does help when other people can see it as irrational for me too

@Mvshrln I’m sure your MRI will be fine but I know how hard the wait must be. Try and keep your mind active, Monday will come quick and then you’ll be able to relax when you know things are ok. I can completely understand how working in that sector would trigger you, I really don’t think I would cope well.

@tmh88 Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day but glad you’re feeling a bit better. They absolutely won’t have missed anything on your ultrasound, I know it’s easy for me to say but it’s just your anxiety latching on to a tiny shred of doubt you’ve got but they really wouldn’t miss anything wrong so please try to put that out of your mind. I agree with too much time at home messing with your head, that is what has contributed to how I am at the minute x

@Lib3rtine yeah I’m going to try for an early night and hopefully wake up feeling more positive! It’s so hard to change your mindset isn’t it! Yes I know, way too much time to think, never thought I would wish to be back at work so much

@tmh88 walks with your brother sounds like a great idea, always good to spend time with fam and like you say, time when you're not alone. I think too much time alone with our thoughts is dangerous! My husband usually works away in the week but is home for Christmas and I feel so much better just having him about as I'm awful at being on my own. Hope you get a good nights sleep!
And everyone else too!

@chorusline79 yes I’m looking forward too it! So glad your husband is home over Christmas time! It’s nice to have the company isn’t it! Didn’t sleep too well had about 5 hours got an email from work saying I won’t be back till March about 8:30 last night that and a blocked nose kept me up! Hope everyone is ok today! I’ve already had a prod this morning but not going to let myself again today

@tmh88 morning, I didn’t sleep too well either. Prodded my left boob so much yesterday it’s so so sore, I have to leave it alone today!! I even went into the office yesterday but still managed to find time to have a good old prod!

Hope everyone has a good day today. dH is home today so hoping that helps me behave myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️