Im so frazzled think Im going to explode , please talk with me

[melsy]

Im at my wits end , Im exhausted , drained and cant take much more. No one around to help, schools closed due to holidays and everyone's doing other things. Ive tried to book a spiritual retreat and they're all booked , Ive phoned 4 this mronoinr that looked my cup pf tea. Im desperate, Im having very dark thoughts and frankly Im worried for my mental health if I dont get some time to be alone for a few days.

we are all here in our pjs and I dont know how to get through the day, Ive got so worked up in to knots, I even balled my eyes out at my spiritual class last night,(soemere I normally energise and get excited). One of the very knowing women came to me and said she was even worried for my health , she wouldn't say what she was picking up on through.

I dont know how to get through the day , with washing up , cooking , nappies etc. Im screaming inside , its like groundhog day here. If anyone's seen my threads on whats been going on , they'll know how crazy its been. On top of which things havent been good with dh , and things to do with my business have been very messy too.

if it wasnt for spell checker then u woldnt have been ble to read any of this.

I dont normally plea to talk , but I feel im going crazy inside .

Ive been wondering if its the coil I had put in in May???????

Take a deep breath, sit down and have a drink and think about what needs to be done. Tackle things one at a time and take it steady.

i guess it could be, have you told your doc? maybe once its taken out you may see a great difference? ive never had a coil or similar put in my body for fear of things like thathappening!

Other than that, could you speak to your doc about the way you feel anyway? she may help with counselling or even ADs if thats what helps?

x

by the way please dont listen to your dark thoughts, i have also been having them for the past month, so close that i walked towards the railway station and stood at the platform for ages the other day, preparing to jump, but knew i couldnt do it.

Please remember youre not alone here.

Melsy

Whatever the cause it sounds as though it's worth speaking to your doctor about this. In the meantime, talk away on here. xx

Thank you for reponses.

I dont really want to go gp route right now,been there done that ,had 6 therapies over the last few years. The gps surgery are a loads of kak too here. Im so fed up with the system it makes my blood boil.

I couldnt bare to go on anti depressants right now. I dont want to numb my emotions completely and I hate the feeling they give me: that weird sicky ,shaky, woozy feeling. Althiugh yes at my lowest ebbs of the day I feel like this anyway.

I may look into some natural remedies , as long as they dont affect my contraception. Although I think u can use anything for coils?

I just need a break alone , some time to decompress in a big big way. I know not many of us get this, but theres just been one to many things piling up and its ridiculous.

I also just need somewere I can talk about the stuff going on outside of family and dh.

Just to give background so I dont sound like Im just complaining over a few nappies and late nights, this is whats been going on. I didnt mention that on top of all that I had to deal with spd and severed pelvic floor muscles over the last year .

I also f**ked up dh's car last weekend too.

and last night had upsetting about one of our grp members, who committed suicide a few weeks ago , but I didnt know as I havent been able to go to class with dd1 being ill. None of us picked up on his state despite having done numerous readings on each other. For some reason it just set me off.

Its like one big ever amassing melodramatic snow ball.

Ever feel cursed ????

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

thank Nab3

Ive had a lay down and feel worse ! This is like the longest day

I know what you mean. If ever I sleep in the day I wake up feeling worse, disorientated, and can't sleep that night.

I've just caught up with the other thread. No wonder you're feeling so stressed, Melsy.

ahh thank you for reading it coppertop , so Im not going mad for no good reason then.

We used to yabber a lot didnt we copper , with chords ,remember her in Hong Kong? Or may be it was someone else and I am going mad!

Dh is being strangely nice last few days and brought home sushi this evening !

Despite this , I still feel sick , theres no one about tomorrow , it will be another day of this again. Everyone I know to see has other arrangements. Why is it when kids have been ill, that when they are better you've been so out of the loop for so many weeks no one bothers to ask you to anything anymore? I just feel very in need of being wanted and asked out, so may be Im acting all childish in withdrawing and waiting to be asked . Its awful when you feel no one understands you.

This is whats behind mycrap GP's

well they've all made other arrangements to go to festival stuff together tomorrow. Im just not up for it right now. Wouldnt mind a coffee at someones however,(I dont want to sound like a complete anti social weirdy loon !!!!!)

Yep, we used to natter a lot on here. Wasn't it you/and your sister who had the photos taken with the Cleopatra make-up and things on?

I'm going to sound like a madwoman if I'm wrong and a stalker if I'm right.

lol you are right , my sis did have to do me up as cleopatra for her media make up course. oohhh good memory , stalker women !

Sorry to hear of the accumulation of health/doctor problems and other stresses.Also very sorry to hear about the death of your friend.

I can identify with this part of your post VERY much."I just feel very in need of being wanted and asked out, so may be Im acting all childish in withdrawing and waiting to be asked". I think it's best to bite the bullet, and make the first move, as it becomes a vicious circle - the more lonesome you feel, the more you feel you are boring, and the less inclined you are to make social arrangements. Also other people may also be feeling similarly fragile/insecure, and someone has to make the first move.

I'm nowhere as near as good a stalker as Coppertop, I just recall you being interested in the spiritual side of life and yurts and the celestine prophecy stuff

IF YOU LIVE IN PLYMOUTH I'LL MAKE YOU A COFFEE.

I'm officially a stalker.

awww sweet denbury , very kind , nice thought, bless ya x >>>

yerr totalchaos, its a big part of my life, gets me through most things, except when old tapes play from the darkest regions of mind that I thought Id put away!

noooooo coppper , just elephant brained! >>>

see Im much better at night arent I . Its the cold light of day that gets me all in a tizz.

Phew! Now if I could just get my memory to work when it comes to the day-to-day stuff things would be a lot easier.....

When your friends get back from their festival stuff your mission is to get on the phone and invite them out somewhere. We'll bombard you with "Has Melsy called them yet?" threads until you do.

eeeeeeeeeeeeek scary, I will , I promise to ask everyone to do something when I see them in playground next week. Will report back.

as it happens sister has just called to ask me to come into London with her and her neice and newphew for a tourist style day on a tour bus lol!!! eeeeeeeeeeek bluerghhhh london underground and buggy YUCK, dd1 will love it though bless her.

Thank u gals for helping today x