Why am I so angry?

[pinkcarpet]

I wake up feeling tired, body aching, like I've had no rest. The smallest things irritate me and it doesn't take much before I'm full on shouting at DH and DCs. This happens at least once a day. I feel horrible all the time and I know shouting doesn't help me but I have this rage inside me which I have to get out of my system or I'll hurt myself.

I don't know if this is depression, anxiety, what it is. I have had clinical depression before and felt nothing like this. I highly doubt my GP would do anything useful. Not even sure why I'm posting but Maybe if I write it down someone will recognise something and can help me control the rage

It sounds like a hormonal issue to me.

A permanent hormonal issue. Is there such a thing? I'm 36, I have 2 young DCs age 5 and 2. I have felt this way for at least a year, probably longer.

You very well be in peri -menopause, and you are not too young for it. Peri can last 10 years or more before full menopause.

www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/teach-me/113666670/perimenopause-lead-up-to-menopause-very-uncomfortable-and-poorly-understood

I know it seems like a silly question, but what is your diet like?

When I have a diet higher in processed sugar for a long time (linger than a few weeks) I end up feeling like this too. Like nobody can do anything right and I’m incredibly angry 24/7.

I also have PMDD too. Many people report feeling depressed with PMDD, but I don’t get that. Instead, for me it is displayed as severe anger. Not like normal PMT, but extreme. I act like another person, scream and shout at people etc. But only for 1 week a month.

Do you feel like this every day, or have you tracked when you get it?

My diet is average, not terrible but not great either. I have quite a lot of sugar.

I feel like this all the time. Every day or multiple times a day. I haven't had a period for almost 3 years, they still haven't come back since falling pregnant with DD2. I take vitamin supplements and go outside when I can but its not every day and its definitely been worse since being stuck at home

Are you on any form of hormonal birth control or any antidepressants/anti anxiety medication? I had bad experiences with both. Really angry rages and depression. Now it's just monthly which is manageable.

Not taking any birth control or anti depressants. I took the pill from age 18 to age 29 but stopped when trying to have children and not taken any since.

You really need to see a specialist regarding your hormones.

PND? You say it could be longer than a year, it took me 4 years to feel like me again after DD, so given that your DC are the ages they are, you have never had the chance of some kind of break in the evenings, I reckon?

Yeah I think you should check this out with the doctors. It's a horrible way to feel, when I was like that I kept wondering what had happened to my personality because I wasn't me at all. I sympathise with you and hope you can get to the bottom of it v

I don't feel depressed. I had depression in my early 20s, for a few months. I had therapy and recovered. I feel nothing like that. Depression felt numb, switched off. This feels like white hot rage

It's possible that the mini pill could really help.

Why do you think it is hormone related and what could the mini pill do to help @aquamarine?

Your out of control rage and anger is a classic hallmark of hormonal imbalance, op. The tiredness and body aches are also very common. The mini pill can/may regulate your hormones and put an end to this misery. Obviously, whatever is going on is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to find a solution. You shouting at your family needs to stop.

Are you very thin/light? Could that be why your periods haven’t come back, because your body feels it can’t sustain another life inside you until you put on weight?

If not then your hormones are defo just out of whack, which is causing your periods not to happen.

Defo time to see the GP and get sorted out.

Hormones can do all sorts of weird things to us - tiredness, joint pain, brain fog, anger, crying, depression. Loads. Some get more than others. It can be fixed.

I'm definitely not thin! 10st and 5'5. I assumed my periods would come back sometime this year once DC2 stops breastfeeding, same thing happened with DC1. Now I think about it I've been mostly angry since DC1 was born. Its very bad at the moment but its always been there, for most of the last 5 years

With the PND it doesn't have to be depression, just the rage can be a symptom of it, that you experience. It might be worth looking into it

postpartumprogress.com/uncontrollable-anger-can-be-part-of-postpartum-depression

Have you seen the dr? If not you need to, not having a period for that long indicates a massive hormonal balance.

No @Arietty I've not seen a dr. I wouldn't expect my period to come back until I stop breastfeeding, unless you're telling me its not normal? I didn't have any periods until after I stopped breastfeeding DC1 and DC2 still feeds regularly throughout the day and night so it seems normal to me

Are you getting good quality sleep? I can't imagine so if you are still feeding through the night? Tiredness can impact your mood and ability to control your reactions to small irritations hugely. That's my first thought re this - not your hormones!

I get rubbish sleep but I'm used to it. Both DC are poor sleepers and I also do a lot of my work between 9pm and 1am. Tiredness does make me irritable but I wouldn't say it makes me raging with anger, unless maybe its tipping me over into anger. But even if I've had a reasonably good night I still wake up tired, aching and feeling angry. It often feels loke I'm angry without a reason, like its just my 'normal' state to be in and its horrible. I don't know how to stop it

You can't stop this on your own. You need to see a doctor as soon as possible.

There's no point seeing a doctor. There's a 4 week waiting list for appointments at the moment for anything non urgent and when I go he will just dismiss it as stress due to lockdown and prescribe antidepressants. I've been there before and I'm not wasting his or my time on that again

This moening its the same. I wanted to have a nice family breakfast so was up late last night getting everything set out. I made everything up ready and put my DC drink in the fridge. DC2 has a prescription medicine that has to be taken in water. Came down this morning and discovered DH had thrown it away thinking it was just a cup of leftover water (wtf?) And I went from calm to raging in 2 seconds and yelled at him in front of the kids. DC started crying. I was so angry I slammed the door and went into a different room to scream. It was a small but stupid thoughtless thing he did and it made me furious. This happens all the time

Could it be a thyroid problem? It seems you have all the symptoms and it's quite common after pregnancy. You can have it checked just by giving bloods.