Maladaptive Daydreaming support thread

[Namechange8471]

Hi! I thought I’d start this thread as since lockdown began my maladaptive daydreaming has increased. Dd recently returned to school, therefore I have spent hours listening to music, pacing up and down.
No housework is getting done and I just can’t concentrate.
Is anyone else the same?

Also here is a link to it, I was amazed when I found out it had a name, thought I was going mad for years 😩www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/maladaptive-daydreaming

Have to do school run... Will be back later! Yes to this though!

I'm really interested in this.

I'm not one to self diagnose but reading up about it and it sounds so much like what I experience. I suffer with OCD too. When I'm daydreaming I like every detail to be accurate and will often spend ages researching things that will make the daydream more plausable and realistic if that makes sense?!

I don't have any advice but thank you for posting OP!

CatRamsey

I also have ocd (and depression). I’m the same if I’m daydreaming about a place or person I spend ages researching them so it seems more accurate and likely.
Music is a huge trigger for me, if a certain song comes on it can start me off, then comes the pacing etc, I become that absorbed I forget I’m prancing around.

I have this, sometimes I can’t get out of bed because I’m enjoying daydreaming too much. The problem I have now is I am happier in my daydream life then real life.
I also have thought about the same man since I was a teen and am gutted he’s not real so it’s actually ruining aspects of my life

I am exactly like you OP in terms of daydreaming. I had no idea this was a condition! I am also a lucid dreamer.

Thank you both for replying.

It’s exhausting lately, I’m going for long walks everyday to get my ‘fix’.
Did any of you have a traumatic childhood? I’ve read that’s usually the trigger, mine was lonely but not traumatic.
Think I started as a means to entertain myself.

Yes, I did.
The intense daydreaming started after my granddad died when I was 12. It's waxed and waned over the years.

Mine wasn’t traumatic, just a traditional semi strict upbringing so it started as a escapism, dreaming of being a pop star etc when young

Yes, I do this! I find I tend to go in phases - It'll be really bad for a while, to the extent it's all I think about and it affects everyday life, then it will get better for a bit and I can live in the real world more. I had a bad patch at the start of lockdown and spent a lot of time going on long walks to get away from the kids and indulge in my daydreams in peace.

@Gecko85 same haha. Headphones on, a bit of daydreaming and jogging time. It’s so sad when you think about it.

I think I do this too! I didn't realise there was a name for it.

I have a sort of make-believe life in my head that I go into sometimes that is totally different to my real life (and 'I' am totally different to the real me). It's definitely also linked to listening to music - I actually have a playlist for one particular daydream-story

I'm really happy with lots of aspects of my actual life, especially being with my DP, so it's not down to escapism from the present, but I definitely started to daydream like this during my childhood, which was often quite lonely. I was always a very avid reader and I liked making up and writing stories. I think I was at least emotionally neglected by my DM, which I'm currently in counselling for. Wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Will follow this thread with interest! You're not going mad, OP (or if you are, so are several of us, it seems )

Bumping this thread. This is me, 100%!

SnackBitch2020

Welcome to the club!

I’ve been poorly recently with vertigo so haven’t been able to daydream as much 😩

I think this is me?

I make up scenarios/stories in my head..,, used to be I'd do it as I commuted to work, head phones on etc.... certain songs for a particular story line.

The key figure is "me" but a better me 🤣 and I have a different name.

I don't commute any more so only chance I get to do it is in the bath or just before going to sleep!

I've always done this, as a kid I would sit cross legged in front of the mirror with headphones on and sway from side to side while day dreaming.
If I had a favourite song at the time I could play it over and over.
Now I have a dh and dc it's not so easy so I tend to just pace around my kitchen in my own little world, or go for a walk or play music while driving.

Currently being assessed for inattentive ADHD at the moment so I'm used to zoning out and not concentrating.
I thought I was the only person in the world who did this and have wasted so many hours/days of my life daydreaming.
Thanks for starting this thread.

Oh my God, this is me. Had no idea there was a diagnosis. Always had it but got it under control after it ran rampant in my early 20s after a trauma. I'd spend ages obsessively perfecting a daydream while listening to specific pieces of music, it would keep me awake as I couldn't drift off as I'd go over and over it. If home alone I'd even act out it out with dialogue. Managed to eventually only do it during commuting. At it's worse it used to make me very unhappy with my life but now it's mostly a happy distraction. A TV programme recently triggered it though and I'm having to be quite strict with myself again as the dissatisfaction started setting in.

Glad it's not just me! Always said I'd channel it into a book but unfortunately you need writing skills as well as a very vivid imagination!

Also think this is why playing the Sims appealed so much as a teen!

@MrsCremuel me too! I bought Sims 4 at the start of lockdown and have had so much fun with it I've only now realised that I'm living some of my daydreams vicariously through my Sims!

I'm sure my son has this, every time I look at him he's pacing up and down in his own little world shaking his hands.

I didn't know this was a thing, but it's definitely me. I'm so anally retentive that I have to spend time and effort making sure the daydream is actually realistic. So if it involves the man I fancy deciding that he fancies me too, I have to work out the details of how we'd make it work, who would move in with whom, why his wife was no longer in the picture... I sometimes feel rather sad that I can't allow myself a proper flight of fancy even in my own head, one where the guy is single, willing and close at hand!

@ChockyBicky

I'm sure my son has this, every time I look at him he's pacing up and down in his own little world shaking his hands.

I do this, yes it could well be.

I have this, prefer to call it dreamwaking as it sounds less destructive even though it kind of is. It started, I'd really like TV shows so I'd kind of put myself in them as a new character and then go over the episodes over and over again. From that I now have one character in my head I become, she's an actress so is in many things and she has a glamorous life with gorgeous boyfriends etc etc. I'm in my 30s with a 5yo, so saying this stuff to other people makes me feel incredibly childish, but it's my only means of escapism from my monotonous life, it's really ramped up thanks to lockdown

Hi

I came across this thread totally by chance, and it has been a 'Hallelujah!' moment for me.

My eldest son is nearly 15 now, and has been doing this all of his life. Pacing up and down with a prop in his hand (nowadays a pencil, but it used to be a wooden spoon when he was little). There are usually little skips, or what looks like an adrenaline rush involved too, and very often face pulling or muttering as well.

We are so used to it, and his younger brother called it 'running up and down' from an early age, so that name stuck. He is highly imaginative, and extremely intelligent too, and one of those kids that finds it hard to switch off. He also gets a new interest, and then he is into it 100%, researching it, studying it, following you around and talking about it, oblivious to how uninteresting it may be to others.

He's become very upset about this lately, and wants to know how to stop it. We didn't even know what to describe it as (or even if it even had a name - until now). We don't know where to start.

In addition, it has always been accompanied by night terrors or sleepwalking, particularly when he appears to have woken up but is still in a very lucid dream. These have got worse lately, and he is mortified that he may end up hurting his brother or his parents (even though no one has ever felt in danger from him), and we are getting concerned at his language that sounds to be coming desperate about not being able to live life in this way.

Does anyone please have any tips or suggestions about who we can talk to. He needs to know he is not abnormal. He is a kind, loving, caring and intelligent little bot who has become really sad and worried.

Thank you in advance.

I've done this for years. I go through bouts where I hate how much of my life I spend somewhere else in my head and bouts where I quite enjoy it.

I've no idea why I do it I certainly haven't suffered with trauma or abuse and I have quite a nice life really. Incidentally though I also feel that I spend far to much time on my phone and I often wonder if they're linked - both just ways that I stop myself from being present.

I just found this thread because I went to get my 5 year old to come downstairs for breakfast today and he said he wanted to stay in bed a bit longer because he was making up a daydream and it's made me worry because I don't want him to be like me.

I also wonder if authors, screenwriters etc do this (ie build entire imaginary worlds in their heads) but have just found a way to make it a productive part of their life.