Can't see the point anymore

[Lonelylockdown22]

I'm so sad and I've been so unhappy for so long. I haven't gone to work today, just couldn't see the point. I need to change my life but I don't know how to. I feel like there's only maybe one person who would be upset if I wasn't here anymore. I feel so alone. My life is a mess.

I'm so sorry you feel like this, OP. Could you get into contact with your GP? They can offer advice and support. The world will be worse off without you in it

Sorry you feel this way OP. Things are difficult at the moment with the crap going on in the world, but things will get better.
Its important to get in touch with your GP, they can really help, being down and depressed, although normal for some of us can be helped.
You might find that talking will help too, its surprising how just chatting to someone who understands will help. I use a local helpline, the fact they are independent and you don't know them means you can say anything you want, its not like talking to mates or family or work.
I actually find Facebook can be useful too, I'm a member of "Depression UK" group and others, there are people there you can speak to and message who feel the same and can help. I also joined "fuckwits who sell on FB and Beyond" and "Illiterate Britain" groups, for a bit of distraction!
If you didn't go to work today, don't worry. You're allowed to be ill. Call in sick and explain how you feel, or just lie and say you got bad guts or something like period pain etc.
Have a look here too, loads of helplines, with strangers who get it, and can help. www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/getting-help-in-a-crisis/

Hope you do feel better soon, you will xxx

Though OP if you are a dictator or murderer or kidnapper or something, don't take any of the advice (but release your captive if a kidnapper) and do what you have to do!
(sorry I find gallows humor helps!)

I don't know if my GP would be able to do anything, I'm already on medication and under a psychiatrist.

Honestly feel like giving up. It's only the thought of my parents at my funeral that stops me.

Clearly no one cares

lonely people do care. I honestly think that so many people are struggling at the moment there's less support on these boards compared to some other times.

Sending sympathies I'm really struggling too. Picturing my dad and dcs if I'm not here any more keeps me going. One day at a time. I have felt better in the past so am trying to tell myself that one day I will feel better than I do today. But I totally understand how hard keeping going is.

Can you try and do one nice/kind thing for yourself today? I treated myself to a chocolate brownie which I ate really slowly.

Keep going...

You said you want to change your life. What is it you want to change? Is it where you stay? Or what you do? Friends and hobbies? Do an online course with a view to a different future job?

If you feel it’s too hard speak to your psychiatrist about how to make changes. Does she suggest anything that’s helpful? Do you try the things she says?

What about your meds, sometimes you need slightly different ones. There’s lots to try.

@colouringindoors sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a brat I just don't really have anyone to talk to in real life and sometimes it feels like no one cares. I'm sorry that you're struggling too I really hope things get better for you

OP please contact first response or your GP. Reach out to those around you and be open about how you feel. Ask for an Occupational Health referral from work too for support and reasonable adjustments. Speak to a priest if that is something that will help. Speak. Reach out. People care, but their heads are often in their areas and need noise to make them get them out. Be that noise.

not remotely brat like lonely xxx its really tough. My roofs started leaking. I'm a single mum. I think I can't do this on my own any more. its not a good day

its been pouring here for an hour. I don't know what to do any more

This is such an awful time. And if loneliness and low spirits are part of your usual life, lockdown has just made it 100 times worse. That sense of being overwhelmed and at the end of your tether, that no one cares ... well it's a horrific feeling, as I know personally.

The only advice I have is to try and love your self as you want to be loved. Comfort and care for yourself. I talk aloud to myself sometimes giving myself praise or thanks or love, when I feel I've done something hard (got up!) and that does help me.

You could try a heavy blanket for comfort too.

The trick is to get through each day as this period will end.

I have after lots of false starts found a great therapist and she helps a lot too. I'm mid 50s and honestly it has got better with age. I have shit days rather than grindingly awful weeks or months. It does get better.

thanks Sophie. you are right it is an awful time

So sorry you are feeling this way op I am not great either sending you hugs and hopefully we can get through this together x

You're all so lovely. Oh @colouringindoors what a nightmare! You can do this and I bet you're a fabulous mum.

Thank you @Alfiemoon1 we will gt through this x

thanks lonely I feel like getting in the car and just driving away.

@colouringindoors I know that feeling!

where would u go?

stopping me tonight!

how much do u have to drink to just pass out

@colouringindoors don't do that, your child needs you xxx

x

Are you okay?

it wouldn't be as bad now.
family therapy is helping
oh us being a better dad dd says.
they don't mind going there now.
they gave some nice times there.
it would be bad, but they'd survive I think
my dad though.
my dad