I feel like such a horrible person and I hate myself for this but I really need help as it’s making me feel suicidal.
I have a problem with jealousy over my friends. When they get together without me, I just can’t cope. Today, some of my friends have met up (I can hear them, they live behind me) and I just can’t cope with the feeling of being left out. I just cry and cry with jealousy over not being invited. It’s silly because I know I (usually) have meet ups with a friend without the whole gang but when it’s the other way round I can’t handle it. I’m sure it comes from being bullied at school and never having friends and for the first time in my life (at 40!) I was beginning to feel like I’ve made some friends.
Please someone tell me how to stop these awful feelings, I can’t get like this every time, I’m feeling so down.