Jealousy

[Sunshineandstars10]

I feel like such a horrible person and I hate myself for this but I really need help as it’s making me feel suicidal.
I have a problem with jealousy over my friends. When they get together without me, I just can’t cope. Today, some of my friends have met up (I can hear them, they live behind me) and I just can’t cope with the feeling of being left out. I just cry and cry with jealousy over not being invited. It’s silly because I know I (usually) have meet ups with a friend without the whole gang but when it’s the other way round I can’t handle it. I’m sure it comes from being bullied at school and never having friends and for the first time in my life (at 40!) I was beginning to feel like I’ve made some friends.
Please someone tell me how to stop these awful feelings, I can’t get like this every time, I’m feeling so down.

Hi OP,

We're really sorry to hear you're feeling so down about this. It does sound understandable though.

We're sure someone will be along with some useful advice shortly but in the meantime we just wanted to post a link to our mental health webguide in case there was a phone number or something there that might be of help.

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I think following the link in the first instance is a good idea, and then talk to your doctor tomorrow. You shouldn't have to cope with this. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself?

Thank you, I’m already in contact with my GP regularly and I’m on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Not sure what else they can do. I need to get a grip.

Just to add, I think it’s because I’ve always felt on the peripheral, never really part of the friendship group. The odd one out. I’m different. I don’t know why, I just am.