Feeling like I can’t cope anymore

[MummaJ32]

Possible trigger thread..

Since lockdown began I’ve been off of work as my son’s nursery closed & my dad who was able to have him when I worked, is diabetic so was classed as vulnerable so had been shielding.

I’ve been off of work since March, I’m a HCA at a hospital.

My relationship ended recently, even with attempts to reconcile with him - he has ignored me deliberately, making me feel worthless.

Then today I texted my 9 year old cousins mum to wish him happy birthday and she retaliated at me being nasty because I forgot her other son’s birthday in March - he isn’t my cousin as different dads.

I also lost my Mum back in September last year to breast cancer and still struggling with her death.

Just got notice if I don’t go back to work I will get fired but what am I supposed to do just leave my 3 year old at home by himself?!

I honestly can’t cope anymore and feeling suicidal tbh. I feel like everyone would be much better off without me. I’m worthless, I have nothing to give, everything I do is wrong. I just can’t cope anymore and I can’t talk to my family about this

You're someone's mum so definitely not worthless.
Sounds like some inconsiderate people in your life.
Things will get better. They always do

Your son needs you as his mother. Please call the Samaritans, you are not hopeless nor worthless. Your life has value.

Manage your life one bite at a time. Re your job are you a member of Unison, I mention them as they are one of the public sector unions. I would also contact ACAS first thing tomorrow to discuss this with them.

My condolences to you re your late mother 💐. The bereavement charity CRUSE could be most helpful to you here if you were to call them.

Ignore this person who made you feel bad, those that mind do not matter and those that matter do not mind.

@atillathemeerkat thank you for the helplines - I can’t talk to my family about any of this. I love my son, however I really do feel like I can’t do anything right and so believe he will be better off without me

Everything is hitting me at once and I just don’t know how to cope.

Your son loves you and he needs you. How would he feel if you was gone?
Please try the Samaritans and keep strong lovely
This storm will pass.

Your son would be absolutely devastated without you. Everything has happened at once and its no wonder you are struggling to cope.The loss of your dear mum, loss of your partner, unable to work, work pressuring you. It would test the strongest of people.
Coming this far shows how strong you are and don't forget that.
Please use the helplines posted above, even just to chat to someone. I cannot believe you can be fired for being unable to work due to these circumstances so get advice on that ASAP.
You will come through this.

Your not worthless You are a mother first HCA 2nd. The grief your feeling will pass but it won’t for your son or dad imagine your pain now you can multiply that for your dad and son would you want your son living with his dad? Forget the birthday situation she will get over it. What type of hospital Sacks a team member who is only off because the government has closed your lifeline off? you can get another job after Covid can you claim benefits? Please don’t give up on your son because of other people you will survive this shit storm and look back and think why did I even consider leaving my beautiful ds please call Samaritans or talk to us on here you are not alone. ❤️

Thank you 😢

Hi op how are you feeling now ? I think we ha wall felt the way you are feeling I sure know I have a few times but things do get better I promise you that . You will look back at all this and be proud of your self that you and you alone got through it . You will be able to deal with anything then ❤️ hold in there . Hour dad little boy friends all need and want you . Are there any child minders able to have your son for you ? Are you in wales or England ? Xxx

Excuse my spelling mistakes it's my new phone honestly 😅 xxx

OP you are that little boys whole world. He would be devastated without you. Is there anyone you can speak to in real life?

@OldEvilOwl no I can’t speak to my family about this as after my mum’s passing, I think my dad and sisters would be too upset at my thoughts x

Keep posting on here OP, you will have some great advice. Is it worth speaking to work to explain your situation?

Work have known my situation since the beginning but are now basically giving me an ultimatum x

@OldEvilOwl

Maybe you should find out what benefits you will be eligible for so if the worst happens you know what to do. Would you get any redundancy pay?

No I don’t think so @OldEvilOwl

The government have said they expect bosses to be lenient with A parent who have childcare issues can you go sick with stress & depression as you are clearly unwell. They should not be allowed to sack you over this it’s discrimination your not choosing to not work the government are forcing your hand speak to Acas About where you stand? it’s bad for a hospital to do this to you. I would get advice but do not resign and don’t go in and if you can ask the question to Boris on Twitter tell him the Nhs is threatening your livelihood because he took your childcare away.

That's so unfair about work, I'm so sorry about this. So many people are in this situation that ultimately the government is going to have to step in. First things first, do give Samaritans a call or a local befriending service. Once you're up to it, I'd encourage joining a union like unison. You will feel very much less alone in this struggle and it will hopefully give you some optimism. I know my union also provide advice regarding work and childcare so worth speaking to them about this issue. This might sound very superficial in the grand scheme of things, but it will boost you : eat as well as you can, take magnesium, a natural way to calm your nerves and boost your mood, get enough sleep. And remember, what you're going through is temporary so keep going. You might very well find that the next chapter of your life is a happier one. X

Thank you @AbiBrown x

Please call the helplines this evening. Call the GP tomorrow and be honest with them how low you are feeling and that you can't cope and can't return to work.

Call in work sick tomorrow, you can self very for a week and then ask GP to sign you off.

I would start looking for a nursery or childminder for your DS as I think getting out the house would help you.

Sounds like you have been through a hellish time

Please call the Samaritans. We all want you here and your son absolutely needs you by his side through life. Jobs and men come and go, the benefits system can help you if needed. Stay, your son can't beg for your life but he would if he could. Xx

Really struggling again this morning 😫 can anyone talk?

Hello, I’m here talk away

Just a thought re work. Can you speak to your GP and get a sick note o you’re signed off with stress?

@LuluBellaBlhe I’m just feeling the same as I did yesterday really but now I’m feeling worse as in I’m thinking about who would look after my son when I’m not here anymore. The feelings scare me at the same time as making me feel at ease knowing I’ll be with my mum